In a nationally televised speech in Iran today, Supreme Leader Ayatollah Khamenei ordered his countrymen not to stage further protests, warning the nation, "I am following you all on Twitter."
To back up his words, the Supreme Leader then displayed his Twitter account page, showing that he was indeed following 65,875,224 people, but had only one follower, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.
The Ayatollah's announcement sent a chill up the spines of opposition leaders, most of whom assumed that the Supreme Leader did not have a Twitter account.
"You mean he's been reading all my tweets?" said opposition organizer Mohsen Sobhi. "Oh, shit."
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