Bill Clinton Keys Obama's Car

In what political observers called a shocking display of anger from a former President of the United States, Bill Clinton today keyed the car of Illinois Senator Barack Obama.

Mr. Clinton's attacks on Senator Obama have become more scathing in recent days, but few Democratic insiders expected his rhetorical attacks to turn into outright vandalism.

That is precisely what happened, however, in the parking lot of a Dunkin' Donuts in Nashua, New Hampshire, where Mr. Obama and his aides had stopped for an early morning campaign appearance.

Spotting the Illinois senator's car in the lot, a wild-eyed Mr. Clinton pulled out his key ring and "started twirling it on his finger like a six-shooter," according to one eyewitness.

Saying he was "damned sick and tired" of everything going Mr. Obama's way, the former President dragged his keys across the length of the senator's car, creating a deep gash in the paint job that experts said would cost hundreds of dollars to repair.

As news of Mr. Clinton's attack on Mr. Obama's automobile spread like wildfire across New Hampshire, political insiders branded the former president's move as a tactical mistake that could turn off Democratic voters.

"Keying another candidate's car is really beneath the dignity of a former President of the United States," said Carol M. Foyler, a longtime media advisor to Democratic candidates. "That's the kind of thing you want surrogates to do."

For his part, Mr. Clinton was unrepentant, telling reporters "you ain't seen nothing yet."

"Where does he live?" Mr. Clinton shouted at the press corps. "I'ma go TP that bastard's house."

Andy Borowitz is a comedian and writer whose work appears in The New Yorker and The New York Times, and at his award-winning humor site, BorowitzReport.com. He is the host of "Countdown to '08" at the 92nd Street Y on Tuesday, May 13 at 8 PM with his special guests Susie Essman (HBO's Curb Your Enthusiasm) and Jeffrey Toobin (CNN, bestselling author of The Nine. For tickets, go to 92y.org.

Comments

[tpagy]

Its satire

[bigfated]

I suggest this property damage dispute be settled by Judge Judy!

[AMolinaro]

I don't want to jump the gun here, but I've also heard unsubstantiated rumors involving a flaming bag of dog poo. I'd recommend Mr. Obama not wear any expensive shoes at night.

[DaisyZimmerly]

It's satire ya dumb asses.

[twinkledawnn]

Are we all childesh enough to believe one word of this story. Who is the eyewitness? Maybe it was the pilsbury dough boy?

[inquiS]

I guess when politicians are put to the test their true character comes to the surface, what a pity, what a childish display, its hardly conceivable that such people should be placed in positions of power (or were at one time in a position of power). Long live Democracy and the peoples ability to discern between virtue and the complete lack thereof!

[inquiS]

I guess when politicians are put to the test their true character comes to the surface, what a pity, what a childish display, its hardly conceivable that such people should be placed in positions of power (or were at one time in a position of power). Long live Democracy and the peoples ability to discern between virtue and the complete lack thereof!

[Boadicea]

LOL!

I"m not surprised at all at Bill's attempts to spread untruths about Obama, not at all.

I was on the other side of that Clinton machine in '92. Those people are Ruthless.

Many Democrats naively think that only REpublicans were fighting dirty, but Republican insiders know that the Clintons, in 1992, re-invented negative campaigning in a huge way. Republicans have been trying to take their revenge ever since.

If nasty, underhanded politics designed to obscure rather than shed light on the truth is what you want, if 8 more years of divisive partisanship and congressional gridlock is what you want, then nominate a Clinton.

[siri2k]

I am saddened and angered to see Bill Clinton hit the gutter with so much fervency. That fact, this example alone is all the reason anyone would need to disregard the potential of another Clinton presidency. He and his wife are sounding so obsessed with power that they will stoop to any lows necessary to ensure that power.

Enough is way too much here.

They are the epitome of beltway same old same old and may God and patriot save America from the both of them.

[e-mail]
www.legitgov.org

[sagopalm]

I love when Bill regresses to his most juvenile...it suits him like a blue sperm stained dress. Next, he'll be putting sugar in Obama's gastank.
I love the guy but...please...once trailor trash, always trailor trash. LOL

[sagopalm]

Bill must not be gettin' any. lol

[NABNYC]

You notice nobody went near Michelle Obama's ride. Nobody would mess with that girl. Even her husband.

But poor Barack, he's got that Jimmy Stewart nice guy thing about him.

Next thing Hillary will be kicking sand in his face.

[resurgent]

Does Bill Clinton Have Alzheimer's

Has anyone taken a serious look at Bill Clinton lately? He stands there with a silly grin on his face and his mouth open. He says things that don't make sense. He is a far cry from the brillant, astute politician he once was. He is developping a shuffling gait. He looks and acts like a man much older than he is. He displays the characteristics of someone in the early stages of Alzheimer's.

[truth101]

on cnn lou dobbs just observed that after the polls close in nh less one half of one percent of the voters in the usa will have voted, and that what the media are doing is
SHAMEFUL
which is exactly what BILL
WAS SAYING.
MOST PEOPLE WOULD AGREE, PARTNER....

[Jonahson]

Scraping the dirt from the bottom of the political barrel.