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Birthers Challenge Hawaii to Produce Statehood Certificate

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KAILUA, HAWAII (The Borowitz Report) - Leaders of the so-called Birther movement followed President Obama on his Hawaiian vacation today to demand that Hawaii prove it is actually a U.S. state.

Mr. Obama's claim to American citizenship has rested on his birthplace being Hawaii, but the Birthers argued today that Hawaii's claim to being part of America is far from a foregone conclusion.

Speaking to reporters in Kailua, Birther leader Orly Taitz said that Hawaii cannot be considered part of the United States "unless it can produce an authentic statehood certificate."

Ms. Taitz said that she did a thorough title search on the islands and has concluded that rather than being a U.S. state, "the islands of Hawaii appear to be colonies of Kenya."

"That means that everyone born in Hawaii is legally not an American but a Kenyan," she said, "which I find ironic."

The Birthers' contention that Hawaii is not a state promptly drew support from one leading Republican politician, former Governor Sarah Palin.

"To be honest, it's something I've always kind of wondered about," Gov. Palin said. "Hawaii just isn't an American-sounding name, like Alaska." More here.

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