iOS app Android app More

Featuring fresh takes and real-time analysis from HuffPost's signature lineup of contributors
Andy Borowitz

Andy Borowitz

Posted: June 12, 2010 12:50 PM

BP Promises to Fix Leak; Asks US If Someone Will Be Home Between 8 and 5

What's Your Reaction:

LONDON (The Borowitz Report) - Responding to the United States' ultimatum to produce a viable solution to the massive oil leak in the Gulf of Mexico, the oil company promised today to fix the leak and asked the US "if someone will be home between 8 and 5."

Skepticism about the company's latest promise intensified after a government official's call to BP headquarters was met with a series of recorded prompts.

"Dial 1 if you have an oil rig that is currently leaking," the recorded message begins. "Dial 2 if your rig is gushing barrels of oil uncontrollably. Dial 3 is you have any idea how to fix an oil leak." More here.

The Los Angeles Times says Andy Borowitz has "one of the funniest Twitter feeds around." Follow Andy on Twitter here.

 
 
 

Follow Andy Borowitz on Twitter: www.twitter.com/BorowitzReport