Amid a growing belief that there is no way the Democrats can blow the 2008 presidential election, Democratic National Committee chief Howard Dean sought today to reassure the party faithful that the party was "doing everything in its power" to uphold its losing tradition.
At a top-level summit called "Defeat: 2008" being held in Boston, the former Vermont Governor gave a rousing speech to concerned Democrats, bringing his audience to his feet by vowing, "I can assure each and every one of you, we will find a way to screw this up."
With President Bush's approval rating below thirty percent and none of the Republican presidential contenders stirring the public's imagination, many Democrats have been worried that their historic role as losers and sad sacks might come to an abrupt end in 2008, a fear Mr. Dean attempted to quell today.
"Folks, let's not forget, we're Democrats," Mr. Dean said. "If there's a way to lose, we will find it."
Carol Foyler, a longtime Democrat from Bethesda, Maryland who attended the summit, said that she had been worried that the Democrats might somehow pull out a victory in 2008, but added, "Just knowing that Howard Dean is in charge makes me feel much more confident about losing."
Elsewhere, after a study by the Georgetown School of Medicine said that millions of dollars are wasted on unnecessary medical tests, the American Medical Association said that there might be something wrong with the author of the study and he should come in for a checkup immediately.
Andy Borowitz is a comedian and writer whose work appears in The New Yorker and The New York Times, and at his award-winning humor site, BorowitzReport.com. He appears with Alec Baldwin, Arianna Huffington and Mo Rocca at the 92nd Street Y in NYC on Wednesday Nov 7 at 8 PM. For tickets go to 92y.org.
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Yeah. Being a Democrat is somewhat similar to being a Mets fan.
You couldn't have put his creds up AT THE TOP, Huff? I like to have had a heart attack.
Geeez...
You're seriously saying the *title* didn't tip you off?
With Reid And Pelosi lesding the How weak can we get wing, Al Gore would be the only slam dunk.
he picked Lieberman for VP and blew what should have been a slam-dunk election [even though he won, it should not have been close].
Actually, Al didn't pick Liebshits. Rahm Emanuel and the wonderkinders of the DLC did that.
And you wonder how Al lost (well, aside from the whole fucked up Florida heist, that is)?
One sure way to lose is to give Hillary the nomination. I will refuse to vote for her if she is the nominee. She had her chance to be politically couragous and blew it. To say the Bush lied to her about the reasons we were going to war just shows false naivete. Of course Bush lied! This little yokel typing right now could see it from 2000 miles away. She let a texan talk her into war. If she is the nominee it shows that democrats aren't willing to walk the walk concerning the Iraq war. She failed us bad and needs to be punished not rewarded for it with our votes.
It's a slam dun for the democrats to loose.
1) keep funding the war in Iraq
2) vote for the new war in Iran
3) nominate Clinton
I had supported Hillary for president, hoping that with Bill in the White House again things could go well, or at least less catastrophic than they had been going. But, Hillary essentially voted for legalizing a war with Iran by voting for the Lieberman-Kyl amendment. And don't forget, she still claims her vote for the Iraq was correct. I'm switching to Obama, or some other candidate, maybe. My fear is that the frontrunning Democrats are starting to look so much like Republicans that the Democrats will essentially give this election away. I am ashamed of the Democratic Congress as well. They have given an ignorant President with low approval ratings everything the President wanted. Last November, we all thought change was in the air. We didn't expect that "change" to be the republicanization of our Democratic leaders.
screw it up? find a WAY? been there, done that. Rove's dream, an exhausting usually catatonically boring skirmish before we're evn close to the conventions or the primaries. If there's a die hard voter out there who still has an attn. span. they haven't been TRYING to pay atten.
Yeah, come on over, Chuck. We are now Republicans!
I'm waiting for Chuck Hagel to crossover. Oh, Chuckie, can you hear me?
Democrats are always more well-intentioned than Republicans- but unfortunately, Republicans hide behind their theocratic masks each time and manage to pull the proverbial wool over everyones's eyes. Thank God and don't thank God for the Hitchen's and Maher's of our epoch- they make us see the truth behind the Republicans facade. Now, if only the Democrats would follow suit- they are scared of offending mom and pop family valued "church and temple going-families" for fear of losing their "family values" votes, each election cycle. Conundrum- you bet this is- it's confused us Independent voters into a frustration - come on Hillary, Obama, etc.. call them (the Republicans) for the hypocrits they really are (hiding behind God and Moses.)
What he doesn't mention was the amazing workshop by Harry Reid on "Non-Binding Resolutions - How To Preserve The Illusion Of Giving A Damn" and Nancy Pelosi's workshop, "10 Easy Ways To Not Hold Anyone Accountable For Anything".
It brought tears to my eyes.
Sad, but true. Until the Democratic party gets inspired leadership (ie get rid of Pelosi and Reid), they are indeed doing everything possible to lose what should be a winning hand. We need someone with fire in the belly, like FDR who can whip up emotions and get the country on the right track, so far, non of the Democratic canditates do that, but the good news is the republican canditates are even worse. Bush has made such a mess of the country, that I think the plan is to let the Democrats win the election and fall flat on their face trying to fix the mess. I hope I am wrong, but I doubt it.
i'm pretty sure that the dems are going to take the White House. What worries me is the House & Senate.
Unfortunately americanwhocares,....
I suspect you are correct.
Howard Dean should be worried that those two spoilers, Gavell and Kucinich, might blow the "Defeat 2008" strategy by winning over the people with the seldom used weapon of truth.
And overheard elsewhere, at a Democratic meeting on the popular call for impeachment over the illegal war, it was unanimously decided that it would set a dangerous precedent for the future democratic president who vows to continue the "more of the same" policy.
If you want to impeach Bush, forget the "illegal war" angle. Bush had too many democratic accomplices. BUT, if Cheyney can be forced to release the notes on those "energy conferences", it would be enlightening to see Enron's role in the formulating of policy and pricing and who got paid how much for what. It's the business dealings where you'll find the buried bodies.
If there are two things Dean knows he DOESN'T need to worry about, it's Gravel and Kucinich making inroads. Just like the RNC doesn't need to worry about Ron Paul. Just wishful thinking drives those who "think" otherwise.
If Gore does not run and Hillary screws it up and loses...
Guess what?
NARAL and abortion lovers will be kicked out of the Democratic Party.
Not a threat but a promise....
Eddiestardust, stop embarrassing your fellow Catholics with your foolish, inflammatory rhetoric about "abortion lovers".
You appear to be one of those unfortunate, easily duped Catholics who has been conned by right-wing politicians into believing that overturning Roe v Wade will end abortion. You actually believe the big white billboards in front of your local Catholic Church. These signs pop up (only during the election season, of course) and they say: "Pray for an End to Abortion". Of course we all know that's code for "Vote Republican!".
But the statistics tell us something different, Eddie. There were more abortions annually BEFORE Roe v Wade than after. Furthermore, there have been more abortions (annually) under Bush than there were under Clinton.
So, it really comes down to this: Abortion voters, like you and your heroes on EWTN, don't really give a damn about preventing abortion. What you're REALLY lathered up about is punishing women who choose abortion. It's the RETRIBUTION that revs your motor, because that's all that you and your ilk will accomplish if you have your way. You're being used, Eddie. You're a fool.
Furthermore, you appear to be utterly consumed with an issue involving the female womb, reproductive issues, and punishing women... you post about it repeatedly. A nun friend of mine refers to your type of Catholic as "womb people". She thinks there's something rather weird and creepy about this type of Catholic. I think she has it about right.
Howard Dean's 50-state strategy, decried by the usual Demopublican powers that be, is what gained the Democrats Congress in 2006. And look what they've done with it: nothing. Howard Dean is more than doing his part. Now if only we had Democratic LEADERS in Congress instead of Pelosi and Reid. Lord knows all the rest of the Democratic sheep there need someone to direct them -- someone like Howard Dean, for example.
I agree with you. Howard Dean's strategy won the 2006 election, but Reid, Pelosi, Schumer, and Emanuel horned in and took credit, and they have fucked up everything since then.
>The only Democrat who's won the presidency and retained popularity is Bill Clinton, a moderate.
Unlike those 'unpopular' guys named Roosevelt, Truman, and Kennedy?
Truman did not retain popularity. He gained it.
He was just as unpopular as Bush when he left office.
100 years from now, Kennedy will be a footnote.
kundera,Bush will be a byword for complete idiocy,Kennedy is predictable at least.Bush is missing part of his brain if he ever had one.
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Posted September 30, 2007 | 11:44 AM (EST)