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Edwards Blasts Obama for Criticizing Hillary's Claim That Obama Criticized Edwards

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An already perplexing Iowa race became even more impenetrable today as former Sen. John Edwards blasted Sen. Barack Obama for criticizing Sen. Hillary Clinton's claim that Sen. Obama had criticized Sen. Edwards.

At a campaign rally in Cedar Rapids, the former North Carolina senator said that the Illinois senator's criticism of the New York senator for claiming that the Illinois senator had criticized the North Carolina senator was "an attempt to confuse the voters."

Mr. Edwards' comments set off a new round of charges, countercharges, and counter-countercharges between the three Democratic rivals, with Sen. Obama lashing out at Sen. Clinton for supporting Mr. Edwards' criticism of Sen. Obama's criticism of Sen. Clinton.

In a particularly nasty remark, Mr. Obama called Mr. Edwards a son of a mill worker, "but not in so many words."

Davis Logsdon, chairman of the political science department at the University of Minnesota, says that the Edwards-Obama-Clinton battle royal may be contributing to Iowa voters' fatigue: "Without a doubt, the Iowa caucuses are turning into the grossest three-way in history."

New polls taken after the latest volleys and counter-volleys between the three candidates were inconclusive, as a majority of Iowans polled said they were "fucking sick" of being polled.

With less than a week to go before the Iowa caucuses, 61% of likely voters agreed with the statement, "If one more fucking pollster asks me one more fucking question I swear I will strangle him or her with my bare hands, I really fucking will."

Andy Borowitz is a comedian and writer whose work appears in The New Yorker and The New York Times, and at his award-winning humor site, BorowitzReport.com. He hosts an all-new edition of "Next Week's News" starring Amy Sedaris. John Oliver (The Daily Show) and Christian Finnegan (VH1's Best Week Ever) at Comix on Thursday January 17 at 8 PM. Comix is located at 353 West 14th Street, just east of Ninth Avenue. For tickets, call 212-524-2500 or go to comixny.com. For a $5 discount, use the promotional code ANDY.