Edwards Blasts Obama for Criticizing Hillary's Claim That Obama Criticized Edwards

An already perplexing Iowa race became even more impenetrable today as former Sen. John Edwards blasted Sen. Barack Obama for criticizing Sen. Hillary Clinton's claim that Sen. Obama had criticized Sen. Edwards.

At a campaign rally in Cedar Rapids, the former North Carolina senator said that the Illinois senator's criticism of the New York senator for claiming that the Illinois senator had criticized the North Carolina senator was "an attempt to confuse the voters."

Mr. Edwards' comments set off a new round of charges, countercharges, and counter-countercharges between the three Democratic rivals, with Sen. Obama lashing out at Sen. Clinton for supporting Mr. Edwards' criticism of Sen. Obama's criticism of Sen. Clinton.

In a particularly nasty remark, Mr. Obama called Mr. Edwards a son of a mill worker, "but not in so many words."

Davis Logsdon, chairman of the political science department at the University of Minnesota, says that the Edwards-Obama-Clinton battle royal may be contributing to Iowa voters' fatigue: "Without a doubt, the Iowa caucuses are turning into the grossest three-way in history."

New polls taken after the latest volleys and counter-volleys between the three candidates were inconclusive, as a majority of Iowans polled said they were "fucking sick" of being polled.

With less than a week to go before the Iowa caucuses, 61% of likely voters agreed with the statement, "If one more fucking pollster asks me one more fucking question I swear I will strangle him or her with my bare hands, I really fucking will."

Andy Borowitz is a comedian and writer whose work appears in The New Yorker and The New York Times, and at his award-winning humor site, BorowitzReport.com. He hosts an all-new edition of "Next Week's News" starring Amy Sedaris. John Oliver (The Daily Show) and Christian Finnegan (VH1's Best Week Ever) at Comix on Thursday January 17 at 8 PM. Comix is located at 353 West 14th Street, just east of Ninth Avenue. For tickets, call 212-524-2500 or go to comixny.com. For a $5 discount, use the promotional code ANDY.

Follow Andy Borowitz on Twitter: www.twitter.com/BorowitzReport

Comments

[EngineerBill]

03:52 PM on 12/31/2007

Here is some advice. A great way to out-figure somebody is to have him figuring you're figuring that he's figuring that you are not really figuring what you want him to figure you figure.

[Nancyann]

02:20 PM on 12/31/2007

It is Alice In Wonderland Time. Can't wait for the Mad Hatter to make his or her appearance.....

[WillfromSF]

01:54 PM on 12/31/2007

No sympathy for the Iowans. Why should they, the New Hapshirites, and the South Carolinians, representing small-town America, but no way a cross-section of the population, decide who the next President should be. Stupid-ass system.

[ibsteve2u]

10:01 AM on 12/31/2007

What I have learned from Iowa:

"Oh, god, there's 49 more states to go..."

[gdwtch52]

08:50 AM on 12/31/2007

Almost forgot...

HAPPY NEW YEAR
IMPEACH NOW!!

[gdwtch52]

08:44 AM on 12/31/2007

Yesterday CNN's "dogs barking" in the background was the final straw for me. Dogfight, slugfest etc is a media hyping of a fairly civil campaign. I'm sure the people of Iowa are sick to death of it. The polls don't mean shit...the only "poll" that counts is on Thursday night...can we wait? Not hardly!

[Ubertext]

08:00 AM on 12/31/2007

Kucinich Wins Virginia Democratic Party Poll
http://afterdowningstreet.org/node/29614

when will the Dems wake up and take the party back to what is important to most Americans??
Do not let the media hijack your vote.

[bacaangel]

05:51 AM on 12/31/2007

The campaign tone has been pretty passive and nice this time around due to Obama's stance not to be nasty and confrontational and then the rest of them followed his lead, so on that matter, Obama is a man of change because he did change the nasty tone of this debate and made it a lot nicer.

[OTR6686]

03:49 AM on 12/31/2007

I am afraid that we have gotten too much politics lately. I disregard all statements of the candidates because I have their voting records and experience, and by that, I know where they stand. Of course, if it is a candidate like Obama, he has no record for me to look up, so why should I believe what he says right now? I have looked over Romney's record, and he has changed his opinions so much that I am sure he cannot be trusted. Besides, he is a Republican, and they are the masters of dirty tricks, as in the past. And Ron Paul? Who is supporting him except those who want drugs legalized. He addresses the fewest issues of all.

[Querent]

12:55 AM on 12/31/2007

Thanks so much for explaining that to me, Andy. I feel a lot better now.

[KarenZipdrive]

08:29 AM on 12/30/2007

Hey Andy,
I think you may have to get a little further out there in your satire. The idea that Edwards would attack Obama for...etc. etc. seems a little too real.
The whole primary thing has become a fucking joke.

[straighttalker]

11:33 PM on 12/29/2007

....ANDY, I'M RIGHT THERE WITH YOU BRO. THAT'S WHY THEY DON'T STAND A CHANCE....


....Hillarys going to be the nominee and Romney will beat her....

..All the rest is just entertainment...

[Concernedperson]

10:38 PM on 12/29/2007

Shouldn't they all be criticizing Bush and the Republicans instead of each other?

[Imhotep]

09:14 PM on 12/29/2007

Biden is a warmonger and the only one confused is Edwards. Why elese would he make a bone-head move and call the brutal dictator Musharraf to console him last thursday? Peace

[LizM]

07:48 PM on 12/29/2007

Well, if the media and blogosphere types have to be shamed and ridiculed into covering and supporting Joe Biden, that's fine with me. At this point, I'll take 'em anyway we can get 'em!

'Help Make Hope and History Rhyme'...BIDEN 2008 It's written in the stars