Ensign Favors Stimulus of His Package

Senator John Ensign (R-Nev) broke with his fellow Republicans today, telling reporters in Washington that he favors additional stimulus of his package.

"I misread my package's needs," the senator said. "It needs significantly more stimulus than I originally thought."

Sen. Ensign said that while he originally thought his package could make do with one stimulus, "I now think it needs a second, third, or even fourth stimulus."

The junior senator from Nevada said that he hoped his colleagues would give his proposal a "long, hard" look, but warned, "I'm prepared to be very rigid about this."

Mr. Ensign brushed aside concerns that his recent sex scandal could inspire an increase in penis-related jokes about him.

"I was put in the Senate to do a job, and I am not about to blow that job," he said.
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Andy Borowitz is a comedian and the author of "Who Moved My Soap? The CEO's Guide to Surviving in Prison: The Bernie Madoff Edition."