NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) - The Fox News Channel, which has already signed Sarah Palin to a deal as an on-air commentator, today deepened their commitment to the former Alaska governor by signing her hand as well.
"We were very impressed with the job her hand did at the Tea Party Convention," Fox News chief Roger Ailes said. "And we said to ourselves, let's give Sarah Palin's hand a job."
Governor Palin's hand was not available to reporters, but it did release an official statement about its new job with Fox News.
"I am thrilled to be joining the Fox News team," Gov. Palin's hand said in the statement. "No one is better at giving Republicans' hand jobs than Fox." More here.