Furious at Jon Bon Jovi for making a new recording of "Stand By Me" in solidarity with the Iranian people, Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei today announced that he was deleting Mr. Bon Jovi's songs from his iPod library "forever."
"This is an irrevocable decision," the Ayatollah said. "I did not merely uncheck the tracks, I deleted them permanently."
The Ayatollah said that he had once considered making "Livin' on a Prayer" the Iranian national anthem, "but no more."
For his part, Mr. Bon Jovi remains undaunted, announcing plans today to record a new song about the Ayatollah, "You Give Authoritarian Theocrats a Bad Name."
Follow Andy Borowitz on Twitter: www.twitter.com/BorowitzReport