GM Recalls 1.3 Million Cars for 'Acting Like Toyotas'

DETROIT (The Borowitz Report) - In another black eye to the automotive industry, General Motors today recalled 1.3 million of its vehicles for "acting like Toyotas."

The Chevrolets and Pontiacs being recalled were "exhibiting suspicious Toyota-like behavior," said a company spokesman.

"The brakes on these cars are fine, but the power steering doesn't work, so either way, you wind up running into a tree," said GM spokesman Tracy Klugian. "In our business we call that 'pulling a Toyota.'"

With recent recalls of everything from cars to Girl Scout cookies, a new poll shows that Americans "no longer feel safe doing anything."

According to the poll, a majority agreed with the statement, "Things I thought were safe, from Toyotas to giant killer whales, have turned out not to be." More here.