As a prominent child psychologist and the father of two tween girls, I have grappled with the same problem that many parents are facing today: how to talk to your child about Jamie Lynn Spears. While this is an issue that every parent must navigate for him or herself, here are some questions that your child is likely to ask, followed by the correct answers.
How did Jamie Lynn Spears get pregnant?
According to her mom, Jamie Lynn was a good girl who always respected her curfew and girls like that usually don't get pregnant. So the answer is, no one knows.
Could Kevin Federline have made Jamie Lynn Spears pregnant?
No. This is one of those rare instances when someone got pregnant and Kevin Federline was not involved.
Now that Jamie Lynn is pregnant, will Zoey, the character she plays on Nickelodeon, get pregnant, too?
No. Remember, Jamie Lynn is a real person and Zoey is just a made-up character. Plus, Nickelodeon is owned by an angry old man named Sumner Redstone who doesn't let people get pregnant. So there is absolutely no way Zoey will get pregnant. Instead, Zoey will get cancelled.
Could Hannah Montana get pregnant?
I thought we already went through this. Hannah Montana isn't a real person. She's a character played by Miley Cyrus.
Okay, then could Miley Cyrus get pregnant?
No, because her dad's always around and he creeps boys out.
Are the girls on Disney's High School Musical pregnant?
No, the girls on Disney's "High School Musical" are not pregnant. They have been too busy posing for naked pictures on the Internet to get pregnant.
If I pose for naked pictures on the Internet, will that keep me from getting pregnant?
It couldn't hurt.
Andy Borowitz is a comedian and writer whose work appears in The New Yorker and The New York Times, and at his award-winning humor site, BorowitzReport.com. He hosts an all-new edition of "Next Week's News" starring Amy Sedaris. John Oliver (The Daily Show) and Christian Finnegan (VH1's Best Week Ever) at Comix on Thursday January 17 at 8 PM. Comix is located at 353 West 14th Street, just east of Ninth Avenue. For tickets, call 212-524-2500 or go to comixny.com. For a $5 discount, use the promotional code ANDY.
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"That little whore. If I find out you're sleeping around at age 15, I'll call Alec Baldwin and let him verbally abuse you on the phone until you're so embarrassed you won't dare show your face in public til you're 21."
We didn't do is crucify ourselves because of her behavior because we did everything we could to educate and prevent her mistakes. In fact, we moved her from public school to an exclusive private school and gave her every opportunity to follow a different path, which she rejected out of hand. I guess my point is that these days parents have only so much influence over children. Mass culture and peer pressure are enormous and what happens on TV isn't the only (or even the most important) factor. My advice to parents: Be open and honest and never sugar coat any aspect of life. If you do what needs to be done to give your children the tools to make their own decisions, it is then necessary to step back and if they screw up be flexible and supportive even if you disapprove of the behavior. When a teen screws up they don't need a lot of moralizing because if they were brought up properly they already feel guilt. The trick is to force them deal with the reality or poor their decision(s) but to do it in away they doesn't ruin their life in the long term. We raised four children and a grandchild...it's not easy!
http://hickwithmasters.blogspot.com/2007/12/children-make-good-parents.html
Good luck.
My second response: are we chimpanzees clapping each time A Clockwork Orange's 'old in-and-out' happens again?
Hasn't anyone considered that 'churchgoing' will warp and twist a child's mind (as a Jew, my aunt, a Dachau survivor, told me in detail the other side of the mirror of crucifictionism).
My last response is: what is a 'celebrity', 'status'? The media has invented a 'public' which does not exist.
My one and only "Sex Talk" with my Dad when like this when I was 13.
DAD: "Now that you're growing up, boys will start to get interested in you. Just remember that anything you do with a boy will be all over school the next day."
ME: (to myself) "I think I'm going to wait quite a while before I do anything with a boy."
Note that my Dad did not mention religion, pregnancy, morals, etc. He simply gave me the
REAL "facts of life."
I agree that too often we get these "tips" from the "experts." It's sort of like the government continually trying to protect us from ourselves with warnings on products like don't sit on the oven door when it's open. But it is true, that too often parents don't know how to approach some of these topics, and a little advice can be helpful.
"many parents don't talk to there (sic) kids about sex ever." Well, that's been going on for "time immemorial," and the population hasn't suffered from it yet. Is it a good idea to talk to kids at an appropriate age in an appropriate way about sex? Sure. But nowadays all one has to do is turn on the TV and you get all the sex education you want. You used to have to go to an x-rated movie theatre or porn shop to see the soft-porn on prime time TV these days.
And judging from your use of all lower case letters, misuse of "there" and your lack of punctuation, you are a citizen of sheeple and could use some common sense.
We are the 'shepherds' the caregivers, the only species on the face of the world that can effect the world and all that inhabit it.
This is a monumental committment. It should be held as such not only by society, but also those who decide to take on such a responsiblity.
All species reproduce, but no other species can produce one that can change the world, single handedly.We, in fact, have produced only beings that have 'changed' the world (every human leaves 'their' mark one way or another on the future). So as parents , and as 'villagers' it is the 'meaning of life' to assure every human born is given all that is necessary to become the 'shepherds' of the future.Economically, intellectually, philosophically,and emotionally.
Otherwise- let someone else bear the children, find another way to leave your 'mark'. for it is a duty not for the faint of heart nor weak of mind, nor devoid of soul or spirit.
When in doubt get a dog
(and USE CONTRACEPTIVES, or get fixed!!!)
Mamma Spears (the elder) didn't talk to her other daughter either. You'd think that Jamie would have simply learned a few lessons watching THAT mess. (Maybe she did....it certainly brought her into the limelight.)
If they were such good churchgoing kids, Jaime Lynn would not have been hanging out with big sis, Britney at all hours of the night fighting with the paparazzi, as was reported in the gossip rags recently.