09/09/2008 07:26 pm ET | Updated May 25, 2011

Kim Jong-Il: 'McCain Chose WHO?'

Amid swirling rumors that North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il suffered a recent stroke, sources close to the diminutive madman revealed that his collapse occurred shortly after he learned of GOP presidential nominee John McCain's selection of a running mate.

"McCain chose WHO?" Kim reportedly said just before the onset of the stroke, sources confirmed.

According to one member of Kim's inner circle, "He was totally blindsided by the choice - he really thought McCain was going to go with Pawlenty."

The North Korean dictator, known for his secretiveness and insanity, was staggered by the selection of Alaska governor Sarah Palin, the source said: "This was more secretive and insane than anything he's ever done."

While the source did not indicate the prognosis for Kim's recovery, he said that if the mercurial dictator does regain consciousness his aides would be careful not to say anything that could cause a relapse.

"We're definitely not telling him about Levi," he said.

Andy Borowitz is a comedian and writer whose work appears in The New Yorker and The New York Times, and at his award-winning humor site, He hosts "The Audacity of Jokes" with Fred Armisen, Mike Birbiglia, Jonathan Coulton, Kristen Schaal, Kyle Grooms and Amy Schumer on Monday, September 15 at Comix in New York. For tickets go to