03/10/2010 10:12 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

Massa Admits Poking Staffers on Facebook

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) - Former Rep. Eric Massa rocked Washington with a new revelation today, admitting that he poked several male staffers on Facebook.

"Yes I poked them," he told reporters. "And they clicked 'ignore.' What the frack is wrong with that?"

Mr. Massa also admitted that he encouraged his male staffers to install a "tickle fight app" on their iPhones.

"This whole thing is a tempest in a teapot," Mr. Massa said. "It's not like I went around fracking my Facebook sheep." More here.