Moveon.org Planning Mean Limerick About Petraeus

"These people have already shown that they are good at rhyming things," said an RNC spokesman. "There's no question that they are capable of creating a devastating limerick."
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One week after excoriating General David Petraeus in a full-page ad in The New York Times, the liberal group Moveon.org today confirmed plans to create what is being characterized as a "really mean limerick" about President Bush's man in Iraq.

Rumors of the planned limerick rocked official Washington, which is still reeling from the Times ad, in which Moveon.org cleverly rhymed "Petraeus" with "Betray Us."

"These people have already shown that they are really good at rhyming things," said Colson Slattery of the Republican National Committee. "There's no question that they are capable of creating a devastating limerick."

But Tracy Klujian, a Moveon.org spokesman, said that plans for a really mean limerick about General Petraeus had hit a snag, largely due to the difficulty of finding something to rhyme with "Petraeus" and "Betray Us."

"So far, this is what we've got," Mr. Klujian said. "Hey there, General Petraeus/You should be called General Betray-us/Your views on Iraq/Are one big crock - and then we're kind of stumped about that last line."

Ms. Klujian confirmed that one proposed line -- "Why don't you get off that dais" -- had been rejected because "he's not really sitting on a dais."

Another line, in which the general was compared to Dr. Zaius, the evil orangutan in the Planet of the Apes films -- had been rejected as "too obscure," Mr. Klujian said.

"We don't know what the last line will be yet, but we know the message we want to deliver," he said. "Iraq's in a state of chaos."

Andy Borowitz is a comedian and writer whose work appears in The New Yorker and The New York Times, and at his award-winning humor site, BorowitzReport.com. He appears with Arianna Huffington and Mo Rocca at the 92nd Street Y in NYC on Wednesday Nov 7 at 8 PM. For tickets go to 92y.org.

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