New CBS Reality Show Sends Kids to Guantanamo

Fresh on the heels of their reality show Kid Nation, in which children are sent to perform hard labor on a ranch with no adult supervision, CBS announced today that it was readying a new reality show in which children are sent to the federal detention camp at Guantanamo.

The new program, called Kid Detention, is expected to be ready for broadcast in time for November sweeps, with the following promotional slogan: "One detention camp. Forty kids. No lawyers."

CBS said that filming would begin as soon as 40 children are "randomly rounded up."

Within hours of its announcement, CBS found itself under fire from the organization Amnesty International, who warned of possible human rights violations if the children are sent to Guantanamo.

In an attempt to rebuff such criticism, CBS spokesperson Carol Foyler told reporters, "Nothing worse is going to happen to those kids than if they were on Two and a Half Men."

Ms. Foyler also attempted to dismiss Amnesty International's complaint that the kids at Guantanamo would not be permitted to have lawyers.

"We want to recreate the experience of being detainees, and of course that means no lawyers," Ms. Foyler said. "Besides, just like the other detainees, these kids haven't been charged with any crime."

If Kid Detention takes off in the ratings as expected, Ms. Foyler said, the network was considering launching another series, Kid Rendition, in which the children are flown to Egypt for further questioning.

Elsewhere, after the president of Columbia University called him a "petty and cruel dictator," Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad denied the existence of Columbia University.

Andy Borowitz is a comedian and writer whose work appears in The New Yorker and The New York Times, and at his award-winning humor site, BorowitzReport.com. He appears with Alec Baldwin, Arianna Huffington and Mo Rocca at the 92nd Street Y in NYC on Wednesday Nov 7 at 8 PM. For tickets go to 92y.org.

Comments

[realitytrumpsbull]

Attention GOP shoppers, blue-light special
on credibility, aisle 13... LOL

[DemandTruth]

I thought it was hillarious! Right on par for you AB. And the last line? Your best EVER!

[Sidewhispers]

And in another elsewhere, Bill Maher, channeling W.C.Fields, said that all kids should be in real detention centers for life.

[anastasiabeaverhousen]

Better yet, send the every celebutard that gets arrested for DUI, possession or driving on a suspended license.

Can't you see paris hilton, britney spears, nicole richie and kiefer sutherland talking about how crappy their lives are and how misunderstood they are?

[Plowboy]

I doubt that this propaganda trip will show the kids how the torture was done, or where some of ther victims died. It will be a fairy tale visit to a school for bad kids who must learn how good we are.

[OckhamsElectricRazor]

Apparently the child exploitation laws are less strict than our animal cruelty laws. CBS is reducing innocent children to be 'dancing monkeys' for the perverse entertainment of adults. Forget the law, what ethical mindset conceives of such shows? What type of producer participates in this amoral manipulation of young children and for what motives? And what type of pleasure is expected from the viewer watching these children on display? Shame on you all!!

[scooperss]

Kid Nation has got to be the stupidest idea that CBS has ever aired. I cringe every time that I see an advertisement for the *show*.

How many people will expect their children to emulate these actors to the point they will be punished for not being able to do what they do.

And if there aren't adults there as the ad leads you to believe, then CBS needs to visited by child welfare.
And if there aren't adults there as the ads lead you to believe, I have a bridge to sell you.

[protagonia]

BORED OF THE FLIES?

[rlc41]

Just a thought, why would any caring parent allow their children to be used in such a matter? Shouldn't every single family who has allowed a child to particpate in such abuse be visited by a child welfare worker and all young children be removed fom the family? They obviously do not have the best interest of the child as their main reasoning.

I can't believe that anyone considers this stuff as entertainment.

[dadw5boys]

Troubled kids might wake up to the fact that jail will be like this if they continue on the path they have set out on.
Isolation sometime helps kids discover who they are.
Drug addicts in isolation go thru their pain in private and have time to see themselves all alone and sick. Many drug addict stop that behavior after only 3 days in isolation.

[rlc41]

No where in this article does it mention troubled kids. I believe the words "randomly rounded up" were used. This has everything to do with piss poor so called entertainment and nothing to do with the well being of 40 randomly rounded up troubled kids.

[protagonia]

Some parents leave their kids with Michael Jackson. Others send them off to Jesus Camp. Abuse has many forms.