TEMPE, ARIZONA (The Borowitz Report) - Speaking at a McCain for Senate campaign rally, former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin issued the following warning to the most extreme elements in the Tea Party movement: "Anyone who uses threats of violence will be in my crosshairs."
But she was was quick to add that the issue of violence had been overblown by what she called "the lame-stream media," adding, "In Alaska, you know what we do with people like that? We hunt 'em down and shoot 'em between the eyes!"
Gov. Palin's trademark wit was on display as she aimed some good-natured barbs at Sen. McCain and his wife Cindy.
"John, you're so old, you probably tell Larry King to get off your lawn," she joked. "And Cindy, you're so tanked up on painkillers, when you turn on the radio Rush Limbaugh gets a contact high." More here.
Follow Andy Borowitz on Twitter: www.twitter.com/BorowitzReport