Sanford: "I'm Too Sexy for My State"
Lashing out at critics who have called for his resignation, an unrepentant Gov. Mark Sanford released a statement today indicating that he might be "too sexy" for his critics to handle.
"I'm too sexy for my state, too sexy for my state, so sexy I can't wait," the statement read in full.
Mr. Sanford's latest outburst has motivated an "emergency intervention" on the part of two former elected officials, former Gov. Eliot Spitzer of New York and former Sen. John Edwards of North Carolina.
"What we did was wrong, but at least we shut our fucking pieholes about it," Mr. Spitzer said.
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Andy Borowitz is a comedian and the author of "Who Moved My Soap? The CEO's Guide to Surviving in Prison: The Bernie Madoff Edition." He performs Thursday July 2 in New York at the 92nd Street Y Tribeca. Tickets available here.
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John Ridley: Mark Sanford Gets Lucky. Again.
I'm sure Sanford went to bed on Wednesday praying to whatever God whose commandments he disrespects: "Oh, please, Lord, could you stir up a little something to grab the attention of the quickly distracted media?"
Chris Rodda: S.C. Legislature: Lord's Prayer a Legal Document
A recent bill contrives to add the Lord's Prayer to the list of documents to be included in "educational and informational material regarding the history and background of American law."
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