Lashing out at critics who have called for his resignation, an unrepentant Gov. Mark Sanford released a statement today indicating that he might be "too sexy" for his critics to handle.
"I'm too sexy for my state, too sexy for my state, so sexy I can't wait," the statement read in full.
Mr. Sanford's latest outburst has motivated an "emergency intervention" on the part of two former elected officials, former Gov. Eliot Spitzer of New York and former Sen. John Edwards of North Carolina.
"What we did was wrong, but at least we shut our fucking pieholes about it," Mr. Spitzer said.
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Andy Borowitz is a comedian and the author of "Who Moved My Soap? The CEO's Guide to Surviving in Prison: The Bernie Madoff Edition." He performs Thursday July 2 in New York at the 92nd Street Y Tribeca. Tickets available here.