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Teabaggers' New Cry: "Mrs. Obama, Hands Off Our Obesity"

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WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) - One day after the passage of an historic health care reform bill in the House of Representative, the Tea Party movement turned its attention to a new target today: First Lady Michelle Obama's campaign against obesity.

Carrying signs that read "Mrs. Obama, Hands Off Our Obesity," angry Teabaggers marched on the White House to accuse Michelle Obama, in the words of one protester, "of plotting to take the Big Macs out of our mouths."

"Being obese is one of our American core values," said Carol Foyler, a Teabagger from Toledo, Ohio who showed up for the march. "It's guaranteed by the Constitution."

Ms. Foyler said that Mrs. Obama's campaign against obesity was yet another example of the White House interfering in ordinary people's lives: "They want us all to be skinny like they are in Europe."

The Teabagger said that she would fight the First Lady's obesity campaign "because you know what happens when you get too thin? Your husband runs off with a tattoo model."

As the march reached the White House, Ms. Foyler said that the pro-obesity movement was already picking up steam: "Rush Limbaugh is definitely with us." More here.