ICELAND (The Borowitz Report) - A gigantic ash cloud from an Icelandic volcano that blanketed Northern Europe on Thursday and paralyzed air travel across the continent has turned out to be part of the finale of the television series Lost, network officials confirmed today.
Bracing themselves for the public uproar over a special-effects spectacle gone awry, ABC officials today attempted to explain how the producers' desire for a fitting ending to the increasingly convoluted series led to an aviation nightmare.
"The producers of Lost set off a small explosive charge underneath the Eyjafjallajokull glacier in Iceland, hoping to create a cloud of black smoke," said ABC spokesperson Carol Foyler. "That was pretty much the only way they could think of to end the series."
After the gigantic cloud of volcanic ash threatened aircraft for miles around, "it was clear that this time they went a little too far," she said.
But even as ABC was taking great pains to explain how the Lost finale ended in a volcanic eruption that cost European airlines billions of dollars, longtime Lost fanatics were doubting the network's story.
Tracy Klugian, 27, a web designer from Evanston, Illinois who has seen every episode of the confusing series at least eight times doesn't believe that the gigantic ash cloud could possibly be the end of the series: "For one thing, it makes too much sense."
Mr. Klugian said he was spending all his free time looking for alternative explanations: "I even checked out if 'Eyjafjallajokull' spelled backwards means anything. It doesn't." More here.
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