It's Monday afternoon, and you're like us, so you've already taken 14 cups of coffee and a sugary Red Bull straight to the dome.
You're a fierce energy addict, and you want all the buzz of a red-eye without the pound-packing sugar of energy drinks or the bathroom break-inducing effects of coffee. Well, energy patches are here, and Spot On Energy claims to be the answer to all your important caffeine woes.
Pouches of two of the energy supplements, which look a lot like a nicotine patch, go for about $4 at your local CVS and Walgreens. But do they work?
HuffPost reporters conducted an oh-so-scientific research study into Spot On Energy last week, and sat down with a 52-year pharmacist from New Jersey to determine whether the patches are the answer to coffee or just another marketing gimmick in order to get your children high, legally.
One patch contains 65 milligrams of caffeine -- your average cup of Joe contains about 100 milligrams -- and releases this and several other homeopathic supplements you've never heard of (what's Natrum Carbonicum?) into your bloodstream, through your skin, over a five-hour period.
It appears to give a buzz. Five HuffPost reporters tried slapping on a patch or two, without drinking coffee, and four out of five reported a solid high after about an hour. But pharmacist Michael Fedida isn't so sure about their effectiveness.
"It's hard to tell, but with a patch this cheap you're probably experiencing mostly a placebo effect," Fedida told HuffPost Weird News. "Spot On has pretty packaging, and these marketing people are very talented. But you have to go through many layers of skin to get to the bloodstream, and I'm not sure these transdermal patches would work as well as the ones we give to hospice patients."
Fedida doesn't recommend introducing any kind of stimulant to your nervous system, whether it be sugar, caffeine, alcohol or nicotine. He is, in fact, a self-described prude who doesn't drink, smoke or take caffeine suppositories. But he did agree that "if you're choosing the lesser of two evils," a no-sugar patch wins over a Red Bull, which contains a whopping 27 grams of sugar.
"The contents are pretty innocuous. I dont think they'd do much damage," he said.
Can four patches at a time do much damage? Stay tuned. We're on the case.
ALSO ON HUFFPOST WEIRD...
An upstate New York man found <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/08/01/mealbreakers-bandaid-pizza-hut_n_915489.html#s319946&title=Disemboweled_Mouse_In" target="_hplink">a bloody bandaid in baked into the crust of his Pizza Hut pizza</a> in June of 2011. He sued after the company failed to address his concerns.
In March 2012, a woman claims she found a <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/03/20/mcnugget-has-feather_n_1367461.html?ref=food&ir=Food" target="_hplink">McFeather in her McNugget.</a>
Andrew Brodsky, 35, found an unidentified animal toe</a> in his container of Sabra Spinach & Artichoke dip.
In January 2012, fifty-year-old bus driver Lajzer Grynsztajn claims he <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/01/30/man-swallows-2-inch-coil_n_1242472.html?1330621038" target="_hplink">nearly choked to death</a> on such a coil after ordering two chicken breasts and fries from JFK Fried Chicken in Sunset Park, Brooklyn. <em>Photo by <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/andrea_nguyen/6242324853/sizes/z/in/photostream/" target="_hplink">Flickr user: Andrea_Nguyen</a></em>
In January 2011, a <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/01/17/mouse-in-big-mac_n_1210372.html?" target="_hplink">mouse got trapped in a bag of Big Mac buns</a> at a Philadelphia McDonald's.
A deputy sheriff alleges that someone spit in his Whopper...and the case has made it to the <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/01/11/whopper-spit-case-edward-bylsma_n_1200044.html" target="_hplink">Supreme Court</a> as of January 2012.
A grocery store worker <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/10/06/semen-tainted-yogurt-anthony-garcia_n_998868.html" target="_hplink">pleaded guilty to handing out a semen-tainted yogurt sample</a> at an Albuquerque market.
Louisiana woman Mary Deal Chambers-Johnson sued Applebee's for damages after she claimed a <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/09/08/fingertip-applebees-salad_n_954530.html" target="_hplink">fingertip in her lunch salad</a> gave her post-traumatic stress disorder.
A Chinese woman found a fly in her yogurt in July 2011. When she asked for compensation, the manufacturer asked her <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/08/11/mealbreakers-yogurt-fly-autopsy_n_924617.html" target="_hplink">to prove that the fly had died before she opened the container -- by getting the insect autopsied</a>. (Flies can not be autopsied.)
A couple found <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/06/30/mealbreakers-mouse-salad-blt-blood_n_887882.html" target="_hplink">a disembowled mouse in their Dole packaged salad mix</a> in June 2011. They'd already started eating the salad by the time they found the mealbreaker; they promptly vomited.
Cancer survivor Susan Mosher was outraged after she found <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/06/30/mealbreakers-bloodied-blt_n_888559.html" target="_hplink">human blood on her BLT and fries</a> at a Cracker Barrel in Kingwood, TX, in late June of 2011.
A dieting woman found a <a href="http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2008450/Dieter-finds-live-caterpillar-Weight-Watchers-snack.html?ITO=1490" target="_hplink">live caterpillar crawling on a Weight Watchers-brand slice of packaged cake</a> in June 2011. She called it gross enough to put her off of cake forever.
An East Texas woman found <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zeBUII0VFKk" target="_hplink">a razor blade in a carton of Walmart ice cream</a> in February 2011. Considering the danger, she was surprisingly understanding. She told CBS, "I think it's just one of those random accidents that happen. When you make that much of a product and that many products, you're bound to have a machine break."
A Salt Lake City teen was hospitalized after biting into <a href="http://www.abc4.com/content/news/taking_action/story/Salt-Lake-teen-finds-mysterious-capsule-inside/zQSjtTghzEW7b8yHORpxBQ.cspx" target="_hplink">a mysterious green pill in a bag of trail mix</a> she'd bought at Whole Foods in January 2011. The teen felt numbness and pain throughout her throat. Whole Foods recalled the product from stores around Utah.
A California man claimed to find <a href="http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,534460,00.html" target="_hplink">a condom in his French onion soup</a> at a Clam Jumper restaurant, also in July 2009. The restaurant's PR firm said that they found no evidence of wrongdoing after conducting an investigation of the matter.
In July 2009, a German tourist claimed to find <a href="http://abclocal.go.com/wabc/story?section=news/local&id=6914735" target="_hplink">a used tampon in his steak</a> at the Waldorf-Astoria in New York.
In 2009, a man from Bath, UK found <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/09/30/dead-mouse-found-in-bread-photo_n_745069.html" target="_hplink">a dead mouse in a loaf of bread</a>.
At the height of the Beijing Olympics, reporters pounced on the Chinese food industry after <a href="http://www.couriermail.com.au/news/queensland/muffins-spur-beijing-scare/story-e6freoof-1111116061193" target="_hplink">athletes found paperclips in muffins served them at an official function</a>. The story's most surprising revelation may just be that Olympic athletes eat muffins.
No one said hot dogs promote longevity, but it's not like eating a frankfurter is as dangerous as someone sticking a gun in your face--unless your name is Olivia Chaines and you're eating it Costco. The then-31-year-old had <a href="http://www.clickorlando.com/news/3274884/detail.html" target="_hplink">swallowed a piece of a Hebrew National brand hotdog</a> in the shopping aisle of a Costco in May 2004 before she realized that it contained a piece of metal. X-rays revealed that the hot dog had contained a live bullet.
A New York woman <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/08/05/mealbreakers-semen-sushi_n_919778.html#s323488&title=Bloody_Bandaid_In" target="_hplink">sued a sushi bar after she tasted semen in the sauce atop her spicy tuna</a> in June 2008; she says she still has samples frozen in her refrigerator.
In 2006, a 52-year-old man from Illinois sued Kraft Foods for $55,000 to compensate for the physical and emotional distress he suffered after allegedly biting into <a href="http://msnbc.msn.com/id/12843428/" target="_hplink">a "non-human animal tooth" in a container of Planter's Peanuts</a>.
Finding <a href="http://content.usatoday.com/communities/popcandy/post/2010/03/wonka-candy-launches-a-real-life-golden-ticket-contest/1" target="_hplink">a golden ticket in your candy bar</a> is great. But a gold tooth? Not so much. That's what happened to <a href="http://www.theargus.co.uk/news/1694237.print/" target="_hplink">a 62-year-old British man in September of 2007</a>. He contacted Mars to try and receive compensation, but got no substantive response.
Kitchen accidents happen. Knives are sharp; sometimes a cook will slice off a piece of skin the course of an evening. It's understandable. Not understandable? Failing to clean up the product of an accident. That, apparently, is what happened at an Ohio Arby's in June 2007, when a man found <a href="http://msnbc.msn.com/id/7634321/" target="_hplink">a piece of human skin sitting on the lettuce in his chicken sandwich</a>. The man sued, refusing a settlement that Arby's initially offered him.
A Baltimore man was eating <a href="http://www.wbaltv.com/r/2512486/detail.html" target="_hplink">fried chicken from Popeye's in September of 2003</a> when he discovered that the fast food store had inadvertently fried a mouse along with the chicken parts.
In June of 2001, 22-year-old Angelina Cruz bit into a burger from Burger King--and <a href="http://www.nydailynews.com/archives/news/2001/07/28/2001-07-28_fast-food_customer__i_bit_ne.html" target="_hplink">got pricked in the tongue by a syringe</a>. Citing HIV fears, she sued the chain for $9 million.
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