Drunk and High...and So F***ing Selfish
On July 26th, Long Island's Diane Schuler heretofore inexplicably drove a minivan full of children and adults onto the wrong side of the Taconic State Parkway and crashed head-on into an SUV, resulting in Westchester County's worst traffic accident in 75 years. Eight people died in the fiery crash: Schuler, four children, (her own 2-year-old daughter and three nieces), and the SUV's three adult male passengers. Following the crash, there was much speculation that Schuler had become ill, disoriented and had fallen victim to some sort of sudden affliction.
But with Tuesday's toxicology report released, we now know she was simply drunk out of her freakin' skull, high on marijuana, and driving with one hand on the wheel and the other on a bottle of vodka, according to police. Her blood-alcohol level was .19, more than twice the legal limit where someone is considered DWI. Experts said she had the equivalent of 10 shots of 80-proof alcohol in her system.
My heart goes out to Schuler's brother Warren Hence and his wife, whose three young children died so senselessly at the hands of their mind-numbingly selfish aunt. I also feel for Schuler's husband Daniel, who lost his 2-year-old daughter, and will now be raising his 5-year-old son Bryan -- the only crash survivor -- without a mother.
To say this is a tragedy of epic proportions would still be a gross understatement. There are people who get killed every day through no fault of their own. They are simply at the wrong place at the wrong time. People like those three men in the SUV, and Schuler's tiny passengers. Or innocent bystanders during a robbery. Or people like my late wife, the actor/writer/director (Waitress) Adrienne Shelly, who are brutally murdered by intruders in their homes and offices. These unfortunate souls played no role in their very untimely and undeserving deaths. But Schuler had choices. She knew exactly what she was doing, and fully understood she was putting the lives of so many people in danger. And the choice she made was to get so utterly shitfaced that, for several miles and minutes, she could not even realize she was on a wrong-way death-drive.
I have house in upstate New York. I sat in traffic for almost 4 hours that fateful Sunday -- a normally uneventful drive which lets me zip back into Manhattan in 1:40. So I knew something had been terribly wrong. Then the radio reports came in. And then I eventually passed the charred remains of the toppled, mangled minivan. It made me sick. And what also made me sick was the utter senselessness of it all. That it all could've been avoided. That those four beautiful little children, and the three men from Yonkers, could all still be alive today. That a couple from Long Island would not have to attend funerals for their three young daughters.
My wife, and thousands like her, had no choice. Their lives were savagely ripped from them. I know what it feels like to live through horrific death. I also know what it feels like to raise a 2-year-old by myself. But what I don't know is why people continue to make stupid, irresponsible and selfish choices that bring on such horror and cause death to so many. I suppose I will never understand.
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There is no way to send a message "drive with responsibility". If you drink or take drugs (prescript
And...well
The operative word here is called RESPONSIBILITY. Not just to oneself..b
I'm in agreement with you biotechwom
I believe the adage "don't drink and drive" is nonsensical and illogical, and considering social-cultural reality also disingenuous in intent, and therefor easy for many to rationalize not following it's wise advice. The message should be, "drive,...
First, to the confusing linguistic-logical concepts inherent in the popular phrase. Does that mean ever? If I drink today should I sell my car as I now can't drive? Most people convicted of DUI in fact are not drinking AND driving simultaneously. If I drink, when do I drive? In an hour? In 12 hours? In 24? What if there's still alcohol in my system? How can I tell? You see it's very easy to get confused as to the linguistic definitions of time in the phrase, as it is not clear.
I go on to the social disconnect. Obstinately if people can't "drink and drive" then bars, clubs, and restaurants should not exist at all? Unless everyone is supposed to take public transport for a dinner date? How many bus stations have you seen at romantic date restaurants? How does one go have a drink by one's self? A rational impracial observer would see the vast number of bars in relation to the overwhelmingly lack of public/taxi access and continuous consumption of drinks by a large population without incident as a message that contrary to the phrase, it is in fact "ok" to drink,... and then drive.
There is no way to send a message "drive with responsibility". If you drink or take drugs (prescript
And...well
And... in the end..it is called RESPONSIBILITY. Not just to oneself..b
I believe the adage "don't drink and drive" is nonsensical and illogical, and considering social-cultural reality also disingenuous in intent, and therefor easy for many to rationalize not following it's wise advice. The message should be, "drive,...
First, to the confusing linguistic-logical concepts inherent in the popular phrase. Does that mean ever? If I drink today should I sell my car as I now can't drive? Most people convicted of DUI in fact are not drinking AND driving simultaneously. If I drink, when do I drive? In an hour? In 12 hours? In 24? What if there's still alchohol in my system? How can I tell? You see it's very easy to get confused as to the linguistic definitions of time in the phrase, as it is not clear.
I go on to the social disconnect. Obstinately if people can't "drink and drive" then bars, clubs, and restaurants should not exist at all? Unless everyone is supposed to take public transport for a dinner date? How many bus stations have you seen at romantic date restaurants? How does one go have a drink by one's self? A rational impracial observer would see the vast number of bars in relation to the overwhelmingly lack of public/taxi access and continuous consumption of drinks by a large population without incident as a message that contrary to the phrase, it is in fact "ok" to drink,... and then drive.
It is a problem of a mixed and conflicted message.
How honest really is the expectation that everytime one goes out to drink one, or the date take bus/taxi/d
Lets be adults then.
In essence it's like the speed limit problem. If everyone, including cops, institutionalize the assumption that it's "ok" to "fudge just a little", large proportions of speedy drivers (as Ive observed) is the only outcome.
Solution; use a phrase more consistent with reality, and realistic expectations of behavior, in clear, unambiguous adult terms. "Drive with responsibility". Part of resonibilty is knowing when to exercise caution, in all contexts. The phrase as is currently exist while emotionally clear, is so logically vague as to be stretched to fit any excuse.
The only sane decision an alcoholic makes is the one to stop drinking. Until then, their lives are out of control. When they destroy others with their actions, it is beyond tragic. This woman Diane Schuler fits the profile of the typical secret drinker - a high functioning alcoholic who on the surface seems to have it all together - good job, husband, beautiful kids - but who in reality is close to self-destructing every day. She worked a day shift, the husband worked at night. I'm sure she had plenty of opportunity to get blotto every night without him around. And then of course, when they are off together on a weekend, she white knuckles it until they leave for home, and then guzzles vodka - probably poured into a water bottle during her McDonalds stop, while the kids played - the whole way back in the van.
It sounds like you and your wife had a wonderfully close relationship, and probably would not have been able to hide something like alcoholism from each other. This woman, unfortunately, did not. There was no one there to call her to task, to say, no I'll drive, not you. To tell her to get into rehab. Her husband was only too happy to leave it all to her and never scratch below the surface.
This story is a tragedy for all concerned. And alcoholism is the most selfish disease of all.
The whole story sounds odd. At this point I'll be interested to see if the coroner's findings are confirmed. If a second look calls them into question it changes everything.
I think the word "inexplicable" still applies and I am, personally, deciding that cursing at a dead woman isn't a particularly decent response.
I have been stunned, as has everyone else, by what happened. I cannot imagine how those people
are going to go on.
I have long believed that there should be no second chances for DUI. However, even in this case it wouldn't matter since she had no record.
I've been on those roads; I have three grown children. I'm struggling with this as is the whole region.
I'm not sure I want to know what was in her mind.
Ultimately, all anyone needs is to look at that burnt out car. That's reality.
Just look at that car - that's drinking and driving.
I have attempted to make these very same observations in other HuffPo blogs, only to have my comments "moderated
The adults in the family knew. She didn't decide that day to try vodka and marijuana for the first time. Reports from the day of metion a family member willing to come get her. So there is more than enough blame to go around amongst the adults.
If you have any respect for life, you will do all you can to help friends and family kick the habit...yo
I meant DRINK not drive, sorry
I feel some measure of pity for Schuler's husband & brother, but not much. That woman had a serious drinking problem. And she smoked pot. Bad combination. You will never convince me that the family had NO idea. Anyone who can have a .19 alcohol level and not simply pass out is no novice drinker. This woman was a pro. Her family and friends who were in denial about her demons and looked the other way will regret it the rest of their lives. Maybe they never thought she would get blind drunk on a Sunday morning, but she did. Someone should ask hubby why she chose to do that. What set her off. He was with her earlier that day.
HOW do you get someone help when they refuse to believe they have a problem?
You can get them to rehab, but it will do no good if they won't accept that they do indeed have a problem.
If they won't get help, you do what you have to do in order to protect yourself and your children. This is what people are loathe to do because its hard and dirty.
Though I feel very sorry for Diane Schuler's husband and brother, I have to wonder if they might not have had some idea of her substance abuse problems. I understand that the families of the people who died in the SUV that Ms. Schuler hit are planning to sue Ms. Schuler's family. Under normal circumstances, I would dismiss the idea of such a lawsuit as frivolous and money-grabbing. However, it may be that the only way to find out how much Ms. Schuler's family knew about her problems is through legal action, since Ms. Schuler is dead, and no criminal charges can be filed.
This is a tragedy for everyone involved, and as Andy says in the last sentence, there's no understanding why people make decisions that put not only themselves, but others in harm's way!
what a loss. Mr. Ostroy, stories like this must be so painful fo you. Thanks for sharing thi and good luck in your life.
This article brought tears to my eyes.
If there were a God, this woman would still be alive and have to live with what she did.
So how long do you all think she should spend in jail? Life?
She's dead.
I'm not sure that makes me feel better, but if it helps the victims family and friends so be it.
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