Kindness and Gratitude in the Face of a Middle Finger

This isn't about yoga: We all have our passions of what works best for our minds and bodies. This is about those two words of kindness and gratitude: two simple words that hold incredibly deep meaning, yet are so hard to practice and master, let alone just grasp in concept.
This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. Contributors control their own work and posted freely to our site. If you need to flag this entry as abusive, send us an email.

"Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change." Jim Rohn (1930-2009)

Two months ago, an instructor placed two seeds of words in my mind that somehow got planted. Those two words, which are taking root within the neural pathways of my brain, engulf my thoughts: kindness and gratitude. How cliché that my yoga instructor would talk about kindness and gratitude in our session, after all, isn't that the place where most of our self-empowered, feel-good lectures come from? I read and hear a lot about yoga, lectures of mindfulness, love, kindness, peace, yada, yada, yada, and I take it in, and depending on my state of mood, will reflect upon it, sometimes even going as far as trying to practice those things in my daily life. Especially right after a yoga class when I'm feeling the most at peace and all is good in the world; I'm ready to take on a "new me" and practice all this great joy. But then I hit the parking lot, get in my car and drive away into a sea with the rest of the public, and kindness and gratitude are thrown right out the window with the sounds of horns and middle fingers.

This isn't about yoga: We all have our passions of what works best for our minds and bodies. This is about those two words of kindness and gratitude: two simple words that hold incredibly deep meaning, yet are so hard to practice and master, let alone just grasp in concept. With the media and news fixated on hate, fear, anger and sadness, occasionally throwing in a picture of a monkey taking a selfie or naming which "celebrities" have the highest Twitter followers; and our own communities at a divide in its petty politic, demonstrating the same messages. There is a lot of negative in the world, and watching all the despair with very little focus on the positives, can feel helpless and hopeless. I can't blame the media or the news; I can't blame the people around me that behave ugly because for me, it starts with me. I am tired of all the negativity swirling externally and internally, but is that enough? I've been tired for many years. Why has it taken almost forty years to sink in for me that I am unhappy? Was it because I didn't think I could do anything about it due to the force of how big it is? Was I blissfully unaware, or aware with the accepted idea that feeling bad became begrudgingly comfortable?

Ironically, my work and passion is in both science and art. With neuroscience, I am involved in global, clinical research trials for Alzheimer's disease, and in psychology-art therapy, I work with those who have dementia, along with adults, children and teens struggling with mental health disorders. For someone that teaches on mindfulness, I too struggle with living the example of having kindness and gratitude in my life. I am also one of the sensitive people where my emotions can take the best of me, especially when confronted with mean people who are miserable and want everyone else to live in fear of them and be miserable too, or in instances where there is injustice and human decency doesn't exist. But the past couple of months just thinking of the words: kindness and gratitude, I've noticed slight changes. I have been trying to practice living in kindness and gratitude and applying these two meanings in my interactions with others, and in myself. It is not an easy trek, but with each moment, I have the ability to implement these words with a mere thought and spark a new connection.

Our brains are amazing. Our thoughts in the way we act and react can change as we have the ability to learn new material at any age. For me, what did it take? Having someone provide brief discussions about having kindness and gratitude, passing out handouts on the topics, or my subconscious feeling of being in the presence of Gandhi (whom my yoga instructor resembles). Is it that I am getting older and my brain is more developed, or that I have been talking about Mindfulness for so long that neural connections paved some pathways that I'm starting to utilize more frequently? Regardless of the reason, I am grateful to have this new mindset as I maneuver in my day-to-day life and practice being kind to myself, being kind to others, having gratitude in my life and extending that gratitude outward. I am far from mastering these meanings to its fullest potential, but it's a start, and whether it's a placebo affect or not, I have noticed subtle, positive differences.

And this certainly does go beyond taking a yoga class as I witnessed a speeding car zipping in and out of lanes, cutting people off and running red lights with a bumper sticker that reads: Namaste.

------

HuffPost's GPS for the Soul app is based on two truths about human beings. First: We all have a centered place of wisdom, harmony and balance within us. Second: We're all going to veer away from that place, again and again and again. What we need is a great course-correcting mechanism -- a GPS for the Soul -- to help us find our way back to that centered place, from which everything is possible.

Because no one knows better than you what helps you de-stress and tap into that place of peace inside yourself, it's important for you to create your very own GPS guide -- a personalized collection of whatever helps you course-correct. Email us at GPS@huffingtonpost.com and we'll set you up with your very own HuffPost blogger account to share your guide on the site. If you're already a blogger, we encourage you to upload your personal guide today. We can't wait to see what you have to share.

Popular in the Community

Close

HuffPost Shopping’s Best Finds

MORE IN LIFE