You know the old story, when it comes to sex, men are easy and women are complicated.
Want to get a guy hot and bothered? Show him a naked woman. Done. Hot and bothered guy.
Want to get a woman hot and bothered? Supposedly it's far more complicated, right?
Sure, a simple picture of a naked guy isn't going to do the trick for the average mom. We're a little busy, I don't know if you've noticed that or not. This isn't June Cleaver's heyday, we're not running the vacuum cleaner in our high heels and pearls waiting for Ward to make it home from the office so we can serve him a martini before finishing off a perfect pot roast, with all the trimmings -- of course -- and sending our two perfect children off to play. (This is not to say that the average American woman won't enjoy looking at a scantily clad picture of Channing Tatum, I mean let's not go crazy here folks!)
Things have changed in your relationship quite a bit since you went from being man and wife, to mom and dad. That change is probably more profound for your wife than it is for you. I am not trying to be sexist, I'm truly not, but every single mom I have ever spoken to has said that they have a very hard time switching gears from "mom" to "wife" when the husband lets her know he's hoping for a little action after the kids are in bed. When you've spent most of your day wiping noses and butts, arguing with some little people that yes, they actually do have to wear shoes when we leave the house, and generally being the main person responsible for making the household work, it's a little hard to shift gears and go from thinking about how you haven't actually showered for three days, to thinking how what you'd really like to do is make your husband's motor run.
- Be An Amazing Dad To Your Children. Last week I overheard my husband helping our son (if you're new here, he has ADD) with his homework. Our son gets very frustrated during homework, and hearing my husband keep his patience, and calmly encourage our son that he could, in fact, do the math problems that were homework was seriously the sexiest thing ever. Ever! Help your kids with homework, show them how to ride a bike, let them hand you the tools while you're working on the clogged kitchen sink... IT SERIOUSLY DOESN'T MATTER WHAT! Being an amazing, caring, loving father for the children that you created with her, and are raising with her is the flat out sexiest thing she has ever seen. Channing Tatum included.
So, there you have it. A step-by-step, absolutely no guarantees implied, guide to getting your wife to rip your clothes off as soon as the little ones stay in bed tonight.