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Trend Alert: Policing Women's Behavior

Posted: 03/26/2012 10:41 am

During the March 2012 Women in the World summit at New York's Lincoln Center, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton delivered these candid remarks on patriarchy and women's rights:

"Why extremists always focus on women remains a mystery to me. But they all seem to. It doesn't matter what country they're in or what religion they claim, they all want to control women. They want to control how we dress, they want to control how we act, they even want to control the decisions we make about our own health and our own bodies. Yes, it is hard to believe, but even here at home we have to stand up for women's rights and reject efforts to marginalize any one of us because America needs to set an example for the entire world."

Clinton's words speak volumes if you're attuned to women's issues, popular culture, or even just a casual observer of politics. In an era where many people are claiming to be post-everything, so many old school tricks of the discrimination trade seem to be ever-present. What women do and how we are doing it appears to be a major cause for concern for a lot of men. From marriage to healthcare, many men are at the forefront of "tackling" women's issues and are very invested in policing our behavior.

Women's reproductive rights have taken center stage. Debates that happened decades ago are resurfacing. Battles that have already been fought and won are somehow back on the table. Last year we saw Black women being attacked by anti-choice groups posting billboards claiming the most dangerous place to be is in a Black woman's womb. Now Planned Parenthood, an invaluable healthcare provider to millions of women who may not have access to the types of health insurance the one percent more than likely enjoys, has been facing threats of defunding by people who are using abortion as leverage, and a scare tactic, in their conservative political games. Not long ago, precarious GOP frontrunner Mitt Romney promised to get rid of Planned Parenthood as part of his battle for the soul of America. In reality, abortion accounts for a relatively small portion of the services performed by Planned Parenthood which also offers reproductive and preventative healthcare services, including cancer screenings.

We're all aware of the firestorm Rush Limbaugh brought upon himself by calling Sandra Fluke a slut for wanting birth control pills covered by insurance providers. Although his views may sound extreme, they probably aren't completely off the mark. Earlier this year, the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform convened an all male panel to discuss contraception coverage. Presidential hopefuls Romney, Santorum, Gingrich, and Paul all oppose President Obama's mandates surrounding contraception with Paul stating, "But sort of along the line of the [contraception] pills creating immorality, I don't see it that way. I think the immorality creates the problem of wanting to use the pills. So you don't blame the pills." Whatever the angle, conscious and unconscious attempts at legislating morality through persistent attacks on women have become the trend.

Of course debates about childbirth and marriage are also part of the fold. The New York Times recently reported that "more than half of births to American women under 30 occur outside marriage" which dovetails with other marriage related trends and Census data indicating women and men marrying later in life and single people representing the majority of American households. While many women may be choosing to have children despite their marital status, most research also points to the increased likelihood of poverty as well as other potential health, income, and educational inequities associated with single parenthood. But there are solutions. Steve Harvey has made his relationship mark by advising countless women to act like ladies while thinking like men in order to land relationships, Ralph Banks has offered women an "interracial fix" for marriage, and Bishop T.D. Jakes has a plethora of books and movies aimed at the faith, hope, and love trifecta.

The problem isn't that men are giving their opinions on women's issues, bodies, etc.; the problem is that men who are privileged are dominating discussions that are mainly about women who are often marginalized. When women are absent from important conversations about women, the stories are misshapen, distorted, and incomplete. Privilege normally doesn't allow for the clearest or fairest vision. Whether intentional or not, what we have now is a no-win situation that has been constructed for women where being unmarried, single motherhood, abortion, birth control, reproductive and preventative healthcare, and most social services are all problems and women are to blame. We have to stand up for women's rights, work to dismantle patriarchy, and not allow ourselves, our stories, or our voices to be misrepresented or marginalized.

 
 
 
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07:07 PM on 03/28/2012
"We have to stand up for women's rights, work to dismantle patriarchy, and not allow ourselves, our stories, or our voices to be misrepresented or marginalized."

We don't have a patriarchy. We do have more males in positions of power but that's not in and of itself a male ruled society when you consider that most voters are women and have just as much power as the average man to determine the fate of this nation. Men in power in recent decades have also proven to be far more interested in pleasing women than they were with the issues of men. There is no reason to assume men in power automatically or in our case generally show favoritism towards their own gender in policy making.

"Privilege normally doesn't allow for the clearest or fairest vision. "

Female privileged has it's own blinding effect. For one it would ignore that the most disadvantaged and at risk group are males, especially black males. It would also have you ignore the extensive efforts by feminist to control male behavior. The laundry list of rules and expectations feminist created for men to follow are still being created and promoted by women like yourself.

The gender issues of women are old news. Laws are about controlling human behavior and our majority female electorate elect our law makers to create them. Deal with the politics and win the real moral debates instead scapegoating males by blaming patriarchy.
11:32 AM on 03/28/2012
Angela,

Good post with points to mull over and remind us of what we thought we had accomplished. This is a "war" that has been going on for thousands of years and meant to put women in what the patriarchs think is our place. They haven't got the message yet that "every place" is a place for women.

For those who are paying attention it is obvious that there is no line between "black" issues and "women's" issues. We have the same adversaries, who feel threatened whenever we reach a minute pinnacle of success. Those of us who were bearing children during the 60s, who now have children of their own, see the current attempt to debilitate and demoralize all things female with eyes that might be a bit jaded. It is an ongoing battle, with skirmishes breaking out in the usual places, but we are most often surprised at the renewed venom expressed against us. We must find a way to make this current group of caterwauling accusers irrelevant. I read somewhere that what defeats our adversaries is laughter. Laughter at the size of their egos, effrontery, and yes, their penises. C'mon ladies, learn to laugh a little.
07:15 PM on 03/28/2012
What has been going on for thousands of years was a partnership between men and women. Only modern feminist have distorted the historic necessities of the past into some ugly dystopian nightmare of oppressed women when both genders were living under tyrants and near constant war.

If you want a historic vision it would be the supported and protected women in a hostile world where men felt it was their duty in life to support and defend them. Men had no one to look out for themselves but themselves and whatever alliances they could form with other men. That is what gave birth to male rule not contempt for women.

The oppression of women directly correlates to the oppression of men in a society. You can't do one without the other because they are a family unit and regulating one prevents the other from being free to do whatever the women was prohibited from doing. For example a man can't be driven by a women where women can't drive. He can't go where he wants without his sister if he must follow her around all day. He can't date freely where dating is banned. He can't have a night out guy and girl friends if that is banned.

These invasive moral regulations don't stop at women and are meant to regulate both genders behavior.
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EdCorey1971
07:52 AM on 03/29/2012
When you say: "For those who are paying attention it is obvious that there is no line between "black" issues and "women's" issues. We have the same adversaries, who feel threatened whenever we reach a minute pinnacle of success."

Does that include black men? How do you defeat the "patriarchs" without harming black men whom you say there is no line?
08:11 AM on 03/27/2012
The men that are complaining about this article are acting like the writer said ALL MEN are policing women. She said men of power and privilege, not everyday Joes. Even though, everyday Joes hinder a peaceful walk down the street by their incessant cat-calling and arse-gazing.
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ms.understood
pro-choice | liberal | womanist
01:51 PM on 03/28/2012
great comment. they always think that when women make comments about SOME men, it's really a comment about ALL men, when they can make music, movies, etc calling ALL women this, that, and the third. the ones complaining are usually self-centered, immature, tunnel-vision having individuals who'll waste no more of my time with their nonsense because of their inability to think outside the box.
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ms.understood
pro-choice | liberal | womanist
06:37 AM on 03/27/2012
it's amazing at how many male hurt feelings i'm reading here on what is really a very positive article. women hear music, watch movies, and even deal with real life situations that constantly tell them that they are nothing more than play things, but i suppose that's ok. if women speak up about it, or call out the many men who are inflaming these fires, then we are male-bashing. please! get over yourselves! had the conservative men not started this ridiculous attack on women's issues (the one's they are focusing on btw, have been settled years ago), then this discussion wouldn't be happening in this context.
11:47 AM on 03/28/2012
F&F. You are sooooooo right!
07:21 PM on 03/28/2012
"if women speak up about it, or call out the many men who are inflaming these fires, then we are male-bashing. please! get over yourselves! had the conservative men not started this ridiculous attack on women's issues "

Conservative men and women. You keep ignoring there are a lot of conservative women. Now that I made that point clear the real question is why you are you only attacking men? That is where the sexism starts. It seems feminists, have a real problem with taking out their rage on the opposite sex whenever things don't go their way. You don't have support from most women because less than a third are even willing to call themselves feminists. The anti male attitude goes too far.
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bklynsparrow
creating reality from unreal things
10:42 PM on 03/26/2012
Sadly, Ms. Stanley, you're very right. This year seems to be well on its way to becoming the year of restricting and marginalizing women. It seems like a whirlwind of horrible legislation has been brought up for a vote at every level. All aimed at taking away the rights of women for persons who don't yet exist. And humiliating them in the process. It's shocking this battle has to be fought yet again.
11:55 AM on 03/28/2012
They need to take heed, for they will "reap" this whirlwind. How many of us have they killed, both physically and emotionally? This is nothing new. Thousands, no, millions of women have been burned at the stake, raped, beaten, stoned, our genitals cut, imprisoned.

We have faced these things and worse; had our children ripped from our arms, to name just one.

It may work for a limited length of time but everyone needs to be free, even women.
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Trueletterson
Working man politically right of center
07:00 PM on 03/26/2012
Another feminist running around grinding on a axe looking for a bad man to blame for feminist issue so she can chop his head off!
06:55 PM on 03/27/2012
I was thinking more in terms of something a little lower; you know; protect the gene pool........
07:23 PM on 03/28/2012
"I was thinking more in terms of something a little lower; you know; protect the gene pool........"

SO you support genital mutilation and sexual violence against men? Would you be ok with men making comments like that about women? I don't think you would. Try respect, it's what equals do for each other.
02:43 PM on 03/26/2012
It's time to tell the truth...

Men police women's bahavior...just like women police men's behavior...

I get so many emails from..."women only"..organizations and events...

It's time to tell the truth...




Singed,

NEETTA BLACK
The Host Of:
The NEETTA BLACK Show.

And…

Program Director Of:
"Black" Entertainers "Fixing" The "Black" Communities…
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Trueletterson
Working man politically right of center
07:09 PM on 03/26/2012
Thanks for telling it like it is. If these so call black feminist would put that energy into working to help fix the black community, to help all [black men and women] black women would be better off because neither gender makes sense without the other.
This comment has been removed due to violations of our [Guidelines]
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mskitty71
09:20 AM on 03/28/2012
We are too busy raising the kids you abandon or can't take care of because you are either in jail or under-educated. It's not women's job to help you. Focus instead of making yourself helpful.
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ms.understood
pro-choice | liberal | womanist
06:25 AM on 03/27/2012
you probably wouldn't be getting emails from these groups if you weren't being offensive in the first place. your comment is very nonsensical, and offers nothing positive to the discourse.
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12:51 PM on 03/26/2012
Angela Stanley points the proverbial accusatory finger at evil men. It seems likely that there would be a very long list also of women serving in the House and Senate, statehouses, governors mansions, heads of corporations and nonprofits, that she could also blame, including some who regularly in the headlines, like Bachman, Palin and the leadership of the Susan B. Komen Foundation.
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Trueletterson
Working man politically right of center
08:03 PM on 03/26/2012
Don't forget Hillary Clinton.
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bklynsparrow
creating reality from unreal things
10:33 PM on 03/26/2012
Hillary is not trying to restrict women's rights.
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mskitty71
09:18 AM on 03/28/2012
Women make up a small fraction of legislators. Most laws are then made by men.
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04:19 PM on 03/28/2012
Women make up a majority of the voters, who elect the legislators. Who is more responsible for results if women don't like them?