THE BLOG

The Secret to Blissfully Following (Not Forcing) Your Dreams

05/28/2015 05:41 pm ET | Updated May 28, 2016

There are two ways to live: you can live as if nothing is a miracle, or you can live as if everything is a miracle. -- Albert Einstein

I made myself by a ticket this particular networking event weeks ago. I knew it would be good for me, but *in case* I wanted to bail, I bought a ticket online weeks ahead.

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The first person I met there ended up being an acquaintance I met months ago! I breathed a deep sigh of relief. We hit it off and started talking about books, meditation and quantum physics. It was exactly the kind of conversation I enjoyed and I secretly hoped that I wouldn't have to talk to anyone else at the event.

Eventually, I had to talk to someone new and conversations inevitably led to business talk. Instantly, something inside me closed up.

I discovered that whenever someone attempted to give me business strategy advice, I'd start feeling overwhelmed and heavy. I tightened up and just nodded. I didn't want to say more, lest they give me more "advice" and add more things my never-ending to do list.

In contrast, whenever I talked to someone about energy and intention -- topics I enjoy -- I felt much lighter. These conversation would just flow. I'd feel happy and have tons of ideas to bounce off them.

This widely different feelings contraction and expansions during my conversations got me thinking about how I could be taking the exact same actions as someone else build up my business, but depending on the energy and intention behind it, my life would feel like carrying a ton of bricks or a blissful walk on a beach.

From the outside, the actions could look the same, but the energy is totally different. Ultimately it is the energy behind what you do that creates your results.

I could tell that if I don't get clear on how I want to be, there are tons of people willing to give me unsolicited business advice. We need to clarify for ourselves HOW we want to work:

Following vs. Forcing Your Dreams

- Allowing vs. forcing

- Passion vs. Overwhelm, Stress

- Open to infinite possibilities vs. Strategic planning

- Making friends vs. Building a "Network"

- Being and staying true to you vs. Reputation management

- Doing it for the love vs. Seeking approval

- Following your intuition VS. Following other people's advice

- Letting go of the outcome vs. Results focused.

- Enjoy, savour and honor the process vs. Manipulate and control the process

- Sharing and giving vs. Taking, what can I 'get'

- Being authentic, wholly me vs. Branding

Take a look and see which side of the list you are operating your life from. It may seem scary to actually let go of the details, it's only because your ego has hijacked you into thinking that you have to control everything.

The truth is, you don't. When you follow your inspiration and follow your bliss, the universe is naturally wired to lead you to exactly where you want to go. You can allow energy of your passion to carry your forward and create whatever you feel inspired to create.

In the process, you will naturally do all of the stuff you "should" do, like branding and networking, but you will enjoy the journey much more!

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Don't just follow any old advice. Follow the advice that resonates with you.

When I teach people how to network, I make sure that they do it a way that is true to their hearts - not just show up to an event and mindlessly hand their business cards around. Authentic networking is just about making friends and being a genuine human being.

Mother Teresa said, "We can do no great things, only small things with great love."


Whenever I'm feeling off in anything that I'm doing in business or my life, I check back inside. Usually if I feel bad or blocked about something that I'm trying to create, it's because my heart doesn't want to create it.

When my heart want to create something, it just flows out and I get more done in a couple of hours of FLOW than I'd get done in days of forcing.

If you've been feeling off in your life, I invite you to go through that list again. Take note where you are trying to manipulate and control the outcome. How does it feel to do the opposite instead?

Now I want to hear from you! Is there any area of your life where you've been forcing our dreams to happen, instead of following your inspiration?

What would it feel like to let go?

Let me know in the comments below!

Anita Wing Lee is a transformational life coach, award-winning speaker and mentor who helps people find their soul purpose, where they can access unlimited courage to pursue their dreams.

Get her 7-day free mindset course: How To Be Fearless In Life and The 3 Secret Habits E-guide

Anita shares her journey of travelling to 21 countries in her twenties and creating her dream business lifestyle at anitawinglee.com and on her Youtube channel