What it Means When Your Wife Gives You a Yellow Card

06/26/2014 03:41 pm ET | Updated Aug 26, 2014
  • Anjali Joshi Writer. Educator. Learner. Sharer. Mother. Blogger at

Sports are the cause of some pretty amazing things. They motivate people. They reduce stress and improve overall health. They boost confidence and self-esteem.

But, sadly, professional sports are also the cause of marital conflicts in living rooms everywhere. Absentee men are to blame.

Sure, our husbands may be physically present; but, really, their minds and souls are in Brazil at the moment. A week into the World Cup, I decided if you can't win 'em, you might as well join 'em. I took it upon myself to learn some basic rules of the game. A little googling taught me a thing or two about the penalty cards. Seemed simple enough. Common sense, really.

It amazes me how many people (men) know and understand the rules of sports -- enough to jump off their ass-imprinted couches to scream obscenities at the referee for a bad call -- but struggle with the basic rules of marriage. For them, I offer some support. Here goes.

Marital Offenses That Will Get You a Penalty Card:



In short: Yellow card offenses are forgivable -- so long as they don't become persistent behavior. Red cards, on the other hand, will leave you wifeless, and possibly in prison. So, do yourself a favor and play clean.

I hope this helps, boys. We all know you need all the help you can get.

Anjali Joshi is a teacher turned stay-at-home mom who loves sharing her tales of terror and lessons of love. She blogs at The Adventures of a New Mom and writes for Masalamommas.