Over the years, I have found that the gift of service is that it challenges and changes me. When I lead workshops or retreats that include reflection on service, I share a number of exercises that have helped me frame and re-frame this topic over the years. Here are three of them.
1) Service involves withholding and giving:
Service is often as much about withholding as it is about giving.
When you are given an opportunity to serve another this week:
Withhold your opinion.
Give your ear -
listen with an attitude of tenderness and patience -
(just as you would want someone to listen to you)
If you speak,
offer open-ended questions
(rather than those that can be answered with "yes" or "no")
so that you are able to hear what is really needed.
2) Service challenges our motives:
When you are given an opportunity to serve someone this week:
Notice your attitude . . . is it open or closed?
When we hold tightly to what we're given, our hands are closed --
we can't give or receive.
When our hands are open, we can do both!
A major aspect of service is learning to give with an open hand.
This means noticing . . .
when we give in order to impress others . . .
when we give, expecting the recipient to "repay" us somehow
(it may not be in an obvious way) . . .
3) Service provides us with opportunities for our growth:
Marian Wright Edelman of the Children's Defense Fund keeps this list on her refrigerator:
Eight Degrees of Service
There are eight degrees in the giving of service, one higher than the other.
1. Those who give grudgingly, reluctantly, or with regret.
2. Those who give less than is fitting, but give graciously.
3. Those who give what is fitting, but only after being asked.
4. Those who give before being asked.
5. Those who give without knowing to whom, although the recipients know the identity of the donors.
6. Those who give without making their identity known to the recipients.
7. Those who give without knowing to whom, and neither do the recipients know from whom they receive.
8. Those who help others by giving a gift or loan, or by making them business partners or finding them employment, thereby helping them dispense aid to others. As Scripture says, "You shall strengthen him, be he a stranger or a settler, he shall live with you" (Lev. 23:35). This means strengthening them in such a manner that falling into want is prevented.
As you find yourself engaged with others in the world today, consider the kind of service you are giving...
*Follow HuffPostLiving on Twitter and become a fan of Huffington Post Living on Facebook*