Anne M. Plant is a recent widow with two young daughters, 13 and 8, who traded their E! entourage lifestyle in Los Angeles for stability and structure in a provincial town on the Virginian peninsula. Now here's the true unfolding story of how Anne's sister and Army officer brother-in-law opened up their home. They have three children of their own: a girl, 13, a boy who's 10 and Baby Binkles, who is one. Taking in Anne and her two makes eight! The melding together of these two families is Operation Brady Bunch and it is high adventure.
Do men have feelings? Sometimes it's hard to tell what's going on inside. They don't say much and they often withdraw. I know all about girls' feelings. I have two daughters and I grew up in a home with three younger sisters. I had a stepbrother once, but when my father and stepmother divorced, he left without saying goodbye. Later, after my father married his third wife named Patty, he walked out of our life with minimal apology. Finally, I fell in love with the most distant and reserved man on the planet. Then he quietly went, too.
I do believe men have feelings so there is no need to psychoanalyze any "abandonment" issues I may have. In fact, I find it all the more rich and manly when a man is not as messy and emotive as a woman. We can't both be hysterical at the same time. I like the man to be the rock. I acknowledge that being in a relationship with this type of person can render him "emotionally unavailable." I accept the trade-off. Mr. Plant had no desire to talk ad nauseam about the meaning of meaning, but he did have a soft spot for me, zero tolerance for gossip, and clear-thinking advice. Therefore, our conversations were highly distilled and remarkably potent. The summit sentences in our exchanges belied the mountains of understanding beneath.
Men have an underworld of feelings that are but briefly glimpsed. They do not readily offer hour-long, guided tours of their inner sanctums, but if you watch and query carefully, you can map the paths of their most personal thoughts and emotions. You must be patient and listen as they lead with silent gestures and sparing words. I unwittingly stumbled across a hidden glen in the life of my soldier brother-in-law, Uncle Foxy.
Uncle Foxy has a large collection of coffee cups. Many of them are from units to which he has been assigned in his 15 years in the Army. A small but interesting segment of this collection is a group of Starbucks travel mugs from around the world. Each is marked in the native language with the green siren logo. Most of the ceramic mugs are displayed on a shelf high above the kitchen cabinets. Some are on a tree near the coffee maker. Any one of them may be used at any given time, but absolutely none of Uncle Foxy's coffee cups may be put in the dishwasher. Since I am the only other coffee drinker in the house and often the head dishwasher, I just had to ask, "What's with the coffee cups?"
Each coffee cup has a special meaning to Uncle Foxy. He makes his selection every morning depending on his mood. Oftentimes he's insouciant, everything is fine, so he simply selects whichever mug is most handy or practical. However, some days he feels especially moved toward one or the other. He walked me through his collection. If he is feeling down that day and needs a little lift, he'll pick up the mug with the Chinook helicopter. It reminds him of a happy time when he was stationed with the 2-52 Aviation Regiment (The Nightmare Battalion) in Korea. The recruiting mug imbues him with personal fortitude recalling perseverance through a difficult time of life. If he's feeling indestructible, he selects the mug from his very first assignment as a tank platoon leader in the 82nd Airborne Division. When he's feeling loving toward his wife he grabs the Fort Tuthill mug, a souvenir from the marriage retreat they attended together. If he's irritated and wants to kill something, he grabs the Bravo Company, 2-8 (Bushmasters) skull and crossbones. And, for inspiration in the face of an insurmountable task, he employs the U.S. Border Patrol mug.
The coffee cup in Uncle Foxy's hand is as sure a daily forecast as the barometer in our back yard quietly apprising you of the atmosphere. Men, unlike women, do not have an irrepressible urge to verbally communicate their innermost feelings the moment they surface in conscious thought. It would be a real surprise for my brother-in-law to come down for breakfast one day and say, "I'm just feeling so in love and happy about my family. Kumbaya, everyone!" Or, "I'm feeling like I need a little inspiration today. Anyone have a few motivational meditations?" Rather, he'll pull out the Fort Tuthill or the U.S. Border Patrol mug and carry it around for six hours. The entire time he's communicating his thoughts and feelings. He's feeling the love or drawing up encouragement without the drain of incessant verbalizing. The strong, silent type is not as silent as you may think. There is a roar of feelings being communicated. You only need to first discern and then listen to the language they speak.