Anne Naylor

Anne Naylor

Posted: July 4, 2009 08:02 AM

12 Ways To Build Your Inner Strength

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"Be your own awakener to the beauty and power that are alive in you right now."
John-Roger

At these times of unprecedented change and challenge, many are taking the opportunity to reevaluate their lives. Is the work you are doing truly serving you? Are your priorities where you want them to be? Would you like to be spending more time with your family? Is your life as meaningful as you would like? Are you aware of your personal value?

Personal value - what is that? I am glad you asked. Not the same as "values" which have more to do with how you relate with the world around you.

If you were to ask yourself: what does positive attitude or positive state of mind mean to me? you will come up with your personal philosophy. Being open and honest; communicating with integrity; giving a percentage of your income to charity - all come under personal values.

Personal value is the term I use for inner strength, your innate essence or the human spirit that sustains you throughout your life. Personal value has more to do with who you are, than how you act or behave. Building your inner strength will assist you to succeed in a job interview; to achieve your goals and objectives; to make a positive contribution within your family and community; to be inspired, creative and resourceful.

You recognize personal value in one who has a radiant quality of love; a powerful, peaceful presence that relaxes and reassures. A couple who exchange their wedding vows of loving commitment shine with the spirit of who they are. Those who have been in the presence of HH the Dalai Lama speak of the powerful quality he radiates. You can feel it.

"You don't need a reason to be radiant."
Davide de Angelis

To build your inner strength, try some of the following:

1. Take time to look within
Start to meditate , learn yoga, spend time in nature and reflect. Just sit, do nothing and observe as you breathe deeply and slowly. Get in touch with your inner nature, the beauty and essence that you are.

2. Affirm your qualities
What qualities make you unique? Enthusiasm, sense of humour, joy, persistence, courage, ability to connect with others? Affirm those in the present tense with "I am" statements. Choose 3 affirmations and repeat them, first thing in the morning and last thing at night. For example:

I am generous with my family and friends
I am caring and considerate
I am thoughtful and loving


3. Make agreements you know you can keep

Be on time. You will show yourself to be a reliable person. Renegotiate agreements you cannot keep - make fewer of them. You will know yourself as being trustworthy.


4. Learn to say "No"

Do not over-commit yourself. Refusing a request is not against anyone else. You are being honest with, and true to, yourself.

5. Accept, appreciate and love yourself through difficulties
When your life is in turmoil, you may not do things "perfectly". Give yourself permission to learn. Ask: What can this situation teach me? Remember that at all times, you are doing the best you can. When you know better, you do better.

6. Be forgiving
When you make a mistake, be tender, kind and compassionate. Do not punish, criticize and condemn yourself. Love and comfort yourself, as you would a precious child.

7. Prize yourself
Celebrate your "wins", the things that go well, and the good that you do. At the end of the day, notice the goodness of your intention and your actions.

8. Do what gives you happiness
Be happy with what you do. Choosing to be happy is a great spiritual discipline. When you are walking, smile to yourself. You will find things to smile about.

9. Focus on the positive
Even in the midst of disaster, look for the blessings and opportunity present. With a positive attitude, you can literally turn your life around.

10. Relax and be patient
While you may not be able to do anything about the global economy as a whole, you can make the most of each day and take steps to build a future you would like. This is not a passive, hopeless enduring, but an active, participative anticipation of a better life for yourself and those you care for.


11. Be open for the best

You never know what good is right around the next corner. Keep an open and receptive mind. Do not be tempted to believe all you hear on the news. The creative spirit in you, and in our human community, is a very wonderful and extraordinary resource.

12. Say thank you to life...
.... and for your life. Be grateful. If you feel down, look around you and be grateful for all that you have, right now. The attitude of gratitude will take you through life's worst storms and lead you toward greater joy, serenity and fulfilment.

"What we achieve inwardly will change outer reality."
Plutarch

Believe in the beauty of who you are. Salute your human spirit. Dare to shine!

How have you built strength in your life so far? How are you using these times to good effect? How will you celebrate your inner strength this 4th July?

I welcome your comments and thoughts, either below here or by email: clearresults@mac.com.

Look out for my blogs every Saturday. Check Become a Fan at the top.

 

Follow Anne Naylor on Twitter: www.twitter.com/Anne4Joy

"Be your own awakener to the beauty and power that are alive in you right now." John-Roger At these times of unprecedented change and challenge, many are taking the opportunity to reevaluate their li...
"Be your own awakener to the beauty and power that are alive in you right now." John-Roger At these times of unprecedented change and challenge, many are taking the opportunity to reevaluate their li...
 
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Thanks for this post! It's right on time for me because I'm at a point in my life where I'm working really hard on building inner strength. This is just what the doctor ordered!

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 03:43 PM on 07/06/2009
- Anne Naylor - Huffpost Blogger I'm a Fan of Anne Naylor 213 fans permalink

Dear amorvincitomnia

I am so happy to know I was listening to the doctor! I hope that you find your inner strength gracefully and abundantly.

Blessings to you,
Anne

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 04:37 AM on 07/07/2009
- Dr. Judith Rich - Huffpost Blogger I'm a Fan of Dr. Judith Rich 200 fans permalink
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Dear Anne,

Inner strength is what's up for me right now, that's for sure. I think #5 is the name of the game. It's easy to be strong when everything is going well. Facing challenges calls forth something more.

Start with "naming" them challenges instead of difficulties. How we use language can bolster our ability to tap inner strength. What we say to ourselves about what's going on "out there" has everything to do with how we'll approach life. If we tell ourselves "this is difficult", something contracts inside. If we think in terms of "challenges", for me at least, something expands. It feels empowering to face up to challenges but overwhelming to swim in a sea of difficulties.

Context..... it's everything. For me, inner strength comes out of the conversation I have with myself and that is clearly a choice.

Thank you for another great article.
Love,
Judith

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 02:21 AM on 07/06/2009
- Anne Naylor - Huffpost Blogger I'm a Fan of Anne Naylor 213 fans permalink

Dear Judith,

Thank you very much for your comment and wise words as always. I have friends who remind me that when life seems a little chaotic and less than comfortable that "school is in session". It helps me to breathe more easily.

I know well what you mean about language - how it can either help to expand within, or contract. I find words very powerful. I love what you say about the conversation you have with yourself. How important it is to have awareness of that conversation, and upgrade it when we need to.

I so appreciate the presence of your wise spirit here.

God bless you abundantly in every way!

With love,
Anne

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 06:31 AM on 07/06/2009
- antaeus I'm a Fan of antaeus 81 fans permalink
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Lots of wisdom here. Any who has the chance to give yoga a try should do so. It can make a difference.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 11:11 PM on 07/05/2009
- Anne Naylor - Huffpost Blogger I'm a Fan of Anne Naylor 213 fans permalink

Dear antaeus

Thank you for your comment. I appreciate your suggestion about yoga.

Blessings to you,
Anne

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 06:26 AM on 07/06/2009

no. 5 seems to be what managers ought to remember in these times.

It is true that we can learn most from the most challenging situations. Managers should remember this and cherish the fact that they themselves and their employees learn a lot in these times - instead of overemphasizing 'performance' and seeking reasons to criticize people.

Indeed, everybody should at all times have the permission to learn. Even those in leadership positions.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 05:36 PM on 07/05/2009
- Anne Naylor - Huffpost Blogger I'm a Fan of Anne Naylor 213 fans permalink

Dear Diogenes,

Very good to see you here - thank you for showing up. I very much agree with what you say about learning and managers. In my experience, over criticism is very de-motivating especially when times are challenging. Learning can include finding new ways of being more productive, when it comes to it.

My point of view is that we are all here to learn something. When I accept that for myself, it takes a lot of pressure off and allows for my greater well-being and happiness.

I appreciate the wisdom you share.

Blessings to you,
Anne

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 06:25 AM on 07/06/2009
- Kari Henley - Huffpost Blogger I'm a Fan of Kari Henley 127 fans permalink

Such a lovely reminder for this weekend!
I think often it is hard to remember these qualities until we see them reflected back from someone else. Taking time to "give ourselves" permission to acknowledge our personal value is important, and not always valued in our society. Seems silly it is more acceptable to complain about ourselves or our lives than to relish the best parts.

Have a great weekend!
Kari

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 09:13 AM on 07/05/2009
- Anne Naylor - Huffpost Blogger I'm a Fan of Anne Naylor 213 fans permalink

Thank you very much, Kari. Always very good to see you here.

Yes, I think we almost need to train ourselves to appreciate the best we have going for us. One of the challenges I find, living in what can often be a rather negative world, is to keep choosing once again to focus on all of the good within and around us. There is actually plenty of it - thankfully!

Have a wonderful week ahead!

With love,
Anne

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 06:19 AM on 07/06/2009
- Ed and Deb Shapiro - Huffpost Blogger I'm a Fan of Ed and Deb Shapiro 377 fans permalink

Hi anne - you seem to just get one great blog after another ... GREAT

I love all 12 but # 1 Take time to look within is up my alley. When we look within we can see more cearly when we look without.

Meditation is a key ...our new book talks about this very subject.

May you keep the faith with love in your heart.

Be happy,

Ed

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 07:24 AM on 07/05/2009
- Anne Naylor - Huffpost Blogger I'm a Fan of Anne Naylor 213 fans permalink

Hi Ed - Oh Happy One!

Thank you for showing up here and for all of your encouragement which is so much appreciated.

Meditation is such an important key for me too. Keeping the faith with love in my heart...
.... doing my best!

Big love to you,
Anne

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 06:16 AM on 07/06/2009
- slvrfox857 I'm a Fan of slvrfox857 3 fans permalink

Didn't I just read a couple of days ago that people who do affirmations are less happy? I don't think anything is really that simple.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 09:33 PM on 07/04/2009
- Anne Naylor - Huffpost Blogger I'm a Fan of Anne Naylor 213 fans permalink

Dear slvrfox857

Thank you for your comment. I also read that. In my experience, I have found affirmations very powerful and effective. So from my point of view, they are a good tool, but by no means the only one. I think it is worth trying things out just to see if they work for you.

I agree with you that things are not that simple. However, we can sometimes find simple ways through complex issues.

With love and appreciation,
Anne

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 06:14 AM on 07/06/2009

When you consider that it take the same amount of energy, time and effort to be happy as it does to be miserable, there can be little argument on which path to take. Number 11 rings especially true; a wall of negativity is like a positivity deflector shield, and a sour attitude is joy's kyrptonite.

I would add only one point - to value and encourage humour. As a soon to be divorced mother with young children, my sense of humour is as vital to me survival as a bad sense of smell.

Jeni
http://highlyirritable.wordpress.com

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 12:19 PM on 07/04/2009
- Anne Naylor - Huffpost Blogger I'm a Fan of Anne Naylor 213 fans permalink

Dear Jeni,

Thank you for your comment. Sense of humour - of course. A very important aspect of building strength. My sense is that the spirit in us sees much of what is going on as funny. Family life will always be enriched by joy and laughter.

With warm good wishes to you,
Anne

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 02:12 AM on 07/06/2009
- LordMoon I'm a Fan of LordMoon 12 fans permalink

Forget about the mind as a tool to develop inner strength, simply policing your thoughts and trying to replace them with thoughts you think are healthier, only gives your "inner weakness" more energy.

The mind is unreliable, because it changes like the wind, one minute your full of self loathing, the next grandiose, this cycle repeates itself by the hour all through the day. Trying to control the mind with the mind, is like trying to ride a hurricane with waterskis.

Inner strength, comes from becoming the pain, enduring it, experiencing it, exposing it to awareness, dropping the mind, becoming who and what you really feel, dropping the shoulds and the supposed to's, and the external props that bolster the ego. Without this meditation will only be a form of suppression, a form of self hypnosis, hiding your soul with mind coverings, it will never have the taste of the divine.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 11:57 AM on 07/04/2009
- DragonMama I'm a Fan of DragonMama 15 fans permalink
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I second the 2nd paragraph. Meditation, in my experience, is more likely to be self-indulgence than self-explo­ration/und­erstanding­. Feeling deeply, allowing your full range, and harnessing it instead of letting it control you - that's my strength, earned through decades of chronic physical pain (from mid-childhood). Learning to find the beauty and worth in that which must be endured, that is a survival skill. Planning and preparing, always having a Plan B (and C and D if needed, for important life events) helps too. When I know myself well enough to predict how I'll react to extreme situations, I enjoy life much more fully.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 10:11 PM on 07/04/2009
- Anne Naylor - Huffpost Blogger I'm a Fan of Anne Naylor 213 fans permalink

DragonMama

Thank you for your comment and the strength you describe from your own experience. I appreciate very much your taking the time to contribute here.

Blessings to you,
Anne

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 02:07 AM on 07/06/2009
- Anne Naylor - Huffpost Blogger I'm a Fan of Anne Naylor 213 fans permalink

LordMoon

Thank you very much for your comment. What you say is very touching to me. We are so much more than the mind and have the capacity to embrace all of our challenges with our extraordinary spirit.

Taste of the divine is a lovely phrase.

With love and blessings to you,
Anne

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 02:05 AM on 07/06/2009
- LordMoon I'm a Fan of LordMoon 12 fans permalink

Love and blessings to you as well Ann, and one other thing, holy fire. May it burn away the water that's drowning your spirit.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 01:41 AM on 07/07/2009
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The hardest thing I am learning is to say NO. My nature is to give and in the past I have given until it hurts, this does not serve me or anything else as I get resentful. True giving needs to be without condition. Only taking on what works for me is a new phase I am in.

Thanks Anne hope the wedding you were offiaciating went well today.

Blessings Nathalie

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 10:43 AM on 07/04/2009
- Anne Naylor - Huffpost Blogger I'm a Fan of Anne Naylor 213 fans permalink

Dear Nathalie,

Thank you very much for your comment - and for the video! Learning to say NO is truly a great blessing. Not against anyone else and still very much for you.

The wedding was a delight - especially a little 18 month old who was entranced by the playing of hte cellist.

With love and blessings to you,
Anne

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 02:02 AM on 07/06/2009
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