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14 Lessons In Leadership From My Dad And President Obama

Posted: 06/20/09 10:00 AM ET

This year, my Dad celebrated his 90th birthday. In December, he and my mother celebrate their 65th wedding anniversary. I have a younger brother and sister. We are a very loving family.

Dad went to school to train as an officer in the British Royal Navy. As a young man of 20, he went to serve on ships in the Second World War. Recently, I have been listening to cd's recorded by the Imperial War Museum in London about his times as a naval officer. His stories of the war make me grateful for this age in which I live, even with its challenges.

From my experience working with clients, I have learned that our capacity for relating well with others, or not, stems from our early years growing up. Among other leadership qualities I recognize in my Dad, here are four that I learned from him:

1. CONSIDERATION

Dad is a very thoughtful and caring person. My Mum was the extrovert, more pushy character of the two of them. He is almost a Buddhist in attitude and outlook, though by religion he follows the Church of England. He has been a keen gardener ever since I can remember. The vegetables and flowers he grows reflects the caring attention he gives to them. So too his family.

2. COURTESY

I would describe Dad as a "gentleman" - an old-fashioned English expression. He is gently respectful towards people around him. People love him.

3. COMMUNICATE

Even during the days when I was away at school, he took care to write to me. If something he felt was important to communicate with me, he found a way to put it across. Given my wilful nature, this was not necessarily easy but it did not stop him making the attempt. Whether or not I paid heed to what he said is another matter.

4. CELEBRATE

Dad enjoys life and a good party. We have had wonderful celebrations at significant birthdays and anniversaries. He has shown the capacity to embrace the goodness of the moment, and the freedom to move on when necessary. He does not dwell in the past.

Dad was not ambitious in his career. He is very loved by the people who have known him. I could mention other qualities that I have learned from him, but these four are the greatest.

Here are the leadership qualities in President Obama that stand out for me:

1. "TIME" MANAGEMENT - PATIENCE

Time Management as I understand it has more to do with managing yourself well in the time you have available. Great leaders and sportsmen have time. President Obama is not offering quick solutions for the sake of appearing good.

2. TRUST WORTHINESS

A trustworthy leader says what they will do - and does what they say. They do not promise what they cannot deliver and do not hold back the truth about a situation, however unpalatable. President Obama does not lead with empty promises, nor does he offer a false sense of security.

3. HONESTY

President Obama demonstrates integrity and a sense of wholeness; a non-fragmented, transparent person. I have the feeling that what I see is what he is.

4. COURAGE

The skill of a good manager is to see simplicity in complexity. President Obama has the courage to identify an action that needs to be taken; to pursue it with vigour and fearlessly.

"When the solution is simple, God is answering." --Albert Einstein

5. HUMOUR

President Obama does not take himself too seriously. He has a warm and ready smile.

6. HUMILITY

President Obama presents himself as an "ordinary" person: both approachable and real, engaging with people at all levels.

"To lead the people, walk behind them." --Lao Tzu

7. TAKES CARE

On President Obama's foreign trip to Turkey a few weeks ago, he took care to gain knowledge about aspects of life, important to local people: sport, culture and history. He even learned how to pronounce names of key Turkish dignitaries and personalities.

8. PRESENCE

President Obama carries himself with dignity. On Inauguration Day I saw his hand outstretched and noticed the gentle strength in it. He comes across to me as a person who is alert; in touch with himself, and the world around him.

9. MOVES EASILY ...

... with grace and fluidity. President Obama appears to accept what is so, to cooperate and to flow with it, being a giver towards what needs to be done.

10. FAMILY VALUES

President Obama demonstrates closeness to his wife and children. Here is a person who feels safe to me.

"If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader." --John Quincy Adams

Growing up, President Obama embraced the opportunity that America offered him. He stood forward and acted upon it. The same opportunity did not suddenly dissolve and go away. It is still there for every American today. What a wonderful country! How blessed you are who live there.

My Dad and President Obama - on the face of it, you could not imagine two more different people. But in both of them, I recognize and appreciate the gifts of leadership that they bring. My Dad to our family; President Obama to our world at this time of evolution.

What does leadership mean for you? Who are great leaders you have known? How do you lead your best life?

I welcome your comments and thoughts, either below here or by email: clearresults@mac.com

Look out for my blogs every Saturday. Check Become a Fan at the top.

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This year, my Dad celebrated his 90th birthday. In December, he and my mother celebrate their 65th wedding anniversary. I have a younger brother and sister. We are a very loving family. Dad went to...
This year, my Dad celebrated his 90th birthday. In December, he and my mother celebrate their 65th wedding anniversary. I have a younger brother and sister. We are a very loving family. Dad went to...
 
 
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
december30
04:04 PM on 06/22/2009
Dear Anne.

What a wonderful article. Thank you for sharing.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Anne Naylor
Celebrant, Weddings and Other Blessings
04:21 PM on 06/22/2009
Dear december30

Thank you very much for your comment. It is truly appreciated.

Blessings to you,
Anne
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
James M. Lynch
Coach, Author, Seminar Leader
11:29 AM on 06/22/2009
Anne,
Thanks for this warm article on your dad and a reminder to us all in what to expect from our president and why we should support him in his difficult task. I lost my dad when I was 11 years old but have heard so much about him that I've had a great model to follow with more room to grow. I hope one day to earn from my kids the same care and honor that you dad has from you.
Sincerely,
James
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Anne Naylor
Celebrant, Weddings and Other Blessings
04:19 PM on 06/22/2009
Dear James,

Thank you very much for your comment. I'd be willing to bet that you will receive all the care and honour that my dad has had from me, from your children - and who knows, more besides! It seems to me that this generation of fathers has extraordinary understanding and active participation with their children. It is a joy for me to see.

Blessings to you,
Anne
06:07 AM on 06/22/2009
This is a GREAT POST, thanks!
Inspiring, to say the very least.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Anne Naylor
Celebrant, Weddings and Other Blessings
04:10 PM on 06/22/2009
Dear darker

Thank you very much for your comment - much appreciated.

Blessings to you,
Anne
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Kari Henley
Make a Wish- now make it bigger.
08:54 PM on 06/21/2009
there is something intimate and sweet and profound in hearing a daughter share her favorite qualities in her father.

What a lovely idea to share his best qualities with that of our new president. They are all aspects we can aspire to!

Lovely piece and Thank you!
Kari
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Anne Naylor
Celebrant, Weddings and Other Blessings
01:22 AM on 06/22/2009
Thank you so much for your comment, Kari.

The blessing for me is to appreciate those strengths and qualities I recognize. It makes for a happier world inside of me!

With love,
Anne
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Ed and Deb Shapiro
08:07 PM on 06/21/2009
Dearest Anne, Absolutely wonderful Anne- I admire your daddy..and Happy Birtyhday and Happy 65th to your parents.

To answeryour question

I feel blessed to have been with HH the Dalai Lama. Deb and I had a private audience with him on our honeymoon at his residence in India...a highlight in our life.. he had just been with the Pope and other heads of religions in Assisi and at the Vatican and we were with him 3 days after he returned.

He is the real thing...so simple and ordinary and a great leader.. like Gandhi he practices
ahimsa- harmlessness...non injury...he is the ultimate sweetheart..even Barbara Walters on her T.V. special asked him if she could kiss his cheek.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Anne Naylor
Celebrant, Weddings and Other Blessings
01:26 AM on 06/22/2009
Hello Ed and Deb,

Always lovely to have you show up here - thank you!

HH the Dalai Lama is high on my list of leaders I admire and respect. What a joy for you to have met him. Sweetheart, yes, and I understand that he also knows how to express discipline towards his students.

We are a blessed world to have inspiring people like him sharing our journey here.

With love, Joy and blessings to you,
Anne
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Whatashame
05:22 PM on 06/21/2009
Unfortunately no all dads are good. Too many children are been sexually molested by their own father.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Anne Naylor
Celebrant, Weddings and Other Blessings
01:27 AM on 06/22/2009
Dear Whatashame

Thank you for your comment. So true. My heart goes out to those who have been hurt by such experiences.

Blessings to you,
Anne
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Jason Mannino
12:39 PM on 06/21/2009
I love this. Thanks for bringing this forward here. If we can each deepen just a few of the qualities that we haven't actualized the world would be have greater peace and compassion.

thanks!
Jason
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Anne Naylor
Celebrant, Weddings and Other Blessings
03:23 AM on 06/22/2009
Hello Jason,

Thank you so much. It is true. We all have these qualities to contribute greater peace and compassion into our world.

With love,
Anne
This user has chosen to opt out of the Badges program
05:42 AM on 06/21/2009
The pictures of the Obama family are always very beautiful. I hope they stay that way.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Anne Naylor
Celebrant, Weddings and Other Blessings
10:34 AM on 06/21/2009
Dear mamacat

Thank you for your comment. I am confident that where there is love in a family, beauty grows at all ages. We shall see!

With love to you,
Anne
06:55 PM on 06/20/2009
My dad is my Hero...i have seen him go through so much and still keep his head high and his family first..Love u Dad
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Anne Naylor
Celebrant, Weddings and Other Blessings
08:35 AM on 06/21/2009
Dear chocoicecream

What a great name! You have a lucky Dad to be so appreciated.

With love to you,
Anne
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Ed and Deb Shapiro
08:10 PM on 06/21/2009
save me a bite .. I am a chocoholic
05:24 PM on 06/20/2009
It's just so great to see a Liberal being a positive role model. His children are so bless to have a loving and caring father who loves them dearly in their lives. I'm a proud Conservative who like seeing a true man step up to his responsiblities!!!!!
05:33 PM on 06/20/2009
Just curious - who are the positive "conservative" role models? I'm having a little trouble thinking of any. Really, not being snarky.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
compaqdrvr
05:56 PM on 06/20/2009
Colin Powell....
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brooklyncitizen
Quaerite primum regnum dei
06:58 PM on 06/20/2009
LOL
This is satire right?
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
DissedBeliever
02:36 PM on 06/20/2009
"President Obama demonstrates closeness to his wife and children. Here is a person who feels safe to me.

"If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader." --John Quincy Adams"

Who are you if your actions inspire others to dream more, and then you cruelly dash those dreams as President Obama has done to thousands of gay families?
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HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
LarBear
09:07 PM on 06/20/2009
DissedBeliever....

QUOTE: " Who are you if your actions inspire others to dream more, and then you cruelly dash those dreams as President Obama has done to thousands of gay families?"

Why do you make someone else response able for the in-tact-ness of your dreams??? That speaks to Negative reaction on your part and not to acting response- able... (Response- able) is purposely separated as "Responsible" has become very negative and guilt loaded... So you quit? Ended your dream? I'm not Gay, so are you saying I should also re-act by giving up my Ideal that one day OUR Dream of Equal Treatment of ALL is over???

I dislike some of what President Obama is doing, but I will NOT allow him to take charge, or to control my Belief in the IDEAL that is the USA, even when my Government violates those Ideals...
11:54 PM on 06/20/2009
Obama has not cruelly dashed anyones dreams. Obama is 6 months into a 4-year presidency and he maintains his promise to repeal DADT and DOMA. Have you spoken directly to Obama or any representative from the DOJ or justice department regarding this issue - or did you just grab your talking points from the media? Has Obama quelled your ability to speak out on what you think is right? Has he blocked all communication on the blogs, radio & Tv media etc.? Has he acted like the Ayatollah in Iran and set forth military action upon the people who are out in the streets marching/protesting? Don't you have a congress which can act on your behalf?