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8 Ways To Find The Power Of Love In Fear

Posted: 04/11/09 10:00 AM ET

"Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less." - Marie Curie

The message of Easter as I understand it is one of surrender -- surrender into that greater human spirit that we are: the love, compassion, and strength in us that endures beyond our hardships and difficulties. Within this message, I find a stillness and peace that is sustaining and nurturing.

Many of us have been challenged by losses of income, savings, jobs, homes. Others fear the possibility of such losses. Media reports tend to fuel our fears.

Have you heard the expression: fear is the energy for a new situation? What if fear were a door that opened you to more of your inner spirit; your wisdom, understanding and enthusiasm?


1. What are your fears?

A few weeks ago, I read this excellent article by Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks called A New Way To Deal With Financial Fears.

I have experienced fears relating to money, even when I am not short of it. Then I got to thinking: what are my other fears? I drew up a list of them: fear of losing approval; fear of success; fear of failure; fear of being rejected; fear of saying the "wrong" thing; fear of not being good enough etc

In the article, I was reminded that typical responses to fear are: fight, flight, faint or freeze. I have been more of a fainter or freezer, such that I never really looked my fears in the face. To do so has been liberating.

"Fear grows in darkness; if you think there's a bogeyman around, turn on the light." - Dorothy Thompson

2. Observe, look at and listen to your fears

Fear is a feeling response now to something that may, or may not, happen in future. When fear shows up, breathe deeply into it so that your body relaxes. By doing this, you are in touch with your energy in the present moment - no good or bad about it. Just energy.

Actually, energy feels really good.

"Ultimately we know deeply that the other side of every fear is a freedom." - Marilyn Ferguson

3. Connect with your heart

As you embrace your fear with love, you can move beyond it into fresh insight. In your heart is the courage to know clearly a way forward.

Bless your fear. It has the seed of goodness within it.

"Fear makes us feel our humanity." - Benjamin Disraeli

4. Shift your attitude - look for the treasure

How is your fear serving you? How is it useful for you? Could your fear be a blessing that helps you to steer your life on a new and more rewarding course?

Be open and inspired towards the solution to that which you fear.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure." - Marianne Williamson

5. What is your opportunity? Take action

Last week, I read an inspiring article by Donald Trump, titled Confronting Your Fears, in which he talks about regarding fear as "concern". Instead of the four responses mentioned above, you can address yourself to the issue and start taking action.

The energy of your fear can be re-directed. Once you start moving and doing something constructive, you will feel energized - and a whole lot better.

"I have learned over the years that when one's mind is made up, this diminishes fear; knowing what must be done does away with fear." - Rosa Parks


6. Find at least one witness

A witness is someone who will listen to you without trying to fix you: a person who is empathetic, unconditional and can reflect back to you what they observe. Talking through your fear with a good friend can give you a fresh perspective.

"Perhaps the most important thing we can undertake toward the reduction of fear is to make it easier for people to accept themselves, to like themselves." - Bonaro W. Overstreet

7. Be curious and open

When you feel fear, become like a child: curious and open to an adventure of discovering the good it may hold for you.

"I'm not afraid of storms, for I'm learning how to sail my ship." - Louisa May Alcott

8. Build faith

In my experience, faith is built through a combination of the attitude of gratitude (counting the blessings I have now) and taking action towards a positive outcome.

With faith, seeming miracles take place.

"Feed your faith and your fears will starve to death." - Author Unknown

Please know that the love within you is much greater than any issues you may be facing, real or imagined. The power of love in you can produce exceptional outcomes, even in the most difficult of times.

"Fear is the needle that pierces us that it may carry a thread to bind us to heaven." - James Hastings

How are you dealing with your fears? Have you recently found courage within you and abilities that you did not know you had? What have you learned about your capacity for loving?

I would love to hear from you, either as a comment here or contact me at Clear Results: ClearResults@mac.com

 
 
 

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"Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less." - Marie Curie The message of Easter as I understand it is one of surrend...
"Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less." - Marie Curie The message of Easter as I understand it is one of surrend...
 
 
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02:09 AM on 04/15/2009
"There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love." - 1 John 4:18
07:18 AM on 04/15/2009
The bible is full of wisdom. Though I no longer call myself a Christian, I cannot deny the wisdom that is the will and word of God (nature, existence, however one slices and dices) as represented in the bible. I know God is real and the Christian bible is a reflection of that fact. Is it the literal word of God? Yes...to the degree that one can access the truth of the words presented. If one cannot access compassion or love, I can see the bible being a tough read. If one cannot conceive of the connected nature of all things, the bible becomes a target for ridicule. God is in the words of the bible.

One of my many teachers told me that you should not throw away what you have as you transform for what you have is part of the transformation process. Religion is the interface and spirituality is that beyond the interface, or syntax and nomenclature have their place, but have you loved someone today?

God bless, be well and towards the gift that is your unique and beautiful potential.

(-:
08:17 AM on 04/14/2009
“How do I know that loving life is not a delusion? How do I know that in hating death I am not like a man who, having left home in his youth, has forgotten the way back?

Lady Li was the daughter of the border guard of Ai. When she was first taken captive and brought to the state of Chin, she wept until her tears drenched the collar of her robe. But later, when she went to live in the palace of the ruler, shared his couch with him, and ate the delicious meats of his table, she wondered why she had ever wept. How do I know that the dead do not wonder why they ever longed for life?

Once Chuang Tzu dreamt he was a butterfly, a butterfly flitting and fluttering around, happy with himself and doing as he pleased. He didn't know he was Chuang Tzu. Suddenly he woke up and there he was - Chuang Tzu, solid and unmistakable. But upon reflection, he didn't know if he was Chuang Tzu who had dreamt he was a butterfly, or a butterfly dreaming he was Chuang Tzu.

Forget the years; forget distinctions. Leap into the boundless and make it your home!â€
The Collected Works of Chuang Tzu -- B. Watson
08:17 AM on 04/14/2009
Perhaps many fears concern impermanence, change...not knowing what is around the corner. Perhaps we are too committed...too predisposed to an uncertain future (potential) with no root (appreciation) in and for the present...always chasing the next big thing and never coming to appreciate the greatest gift of every moment, which is the moment itself.

Too lazy to fear, too tired to hate and quibble. These require too much work.

It is said, be as a puddle of water. Does a puddle of water shriek in horror at the shadow of a foot about to break its surface with a heel-to-toe precision? Does is retreat? Does it cower? Does it anticipate, or does it simply adhere to being water and flow with whatever comes? If things are good you fear they might change. If things are bad you fear they will not change. In both of these scenarios there is the fear of that outside ones’ control...ones’ influence (check the serenity prayer for guidance). Better to stand strong on the foundation of now with an appreciation and recognition of the solid ground upon which one stands versus a trepidation that the earth may tremble and shake in future moments.

Life is a journey. I feel the numbing cold. The hot fires burn me, but I travel on, with no regard for up or down, hot or cold -- at least that is my meditation if not yet my total realization.

Throughout, -- love frees, informs, and comforts.
08:27 AM on 04/13/2009
I love what Anne Naylor is saying about fear. I've learned so much from my clients as well as myself about befriending the fear in each of us, trying to hear it and understand what it's job is inside our systems. The irony is that usually it's trying to keep us SAFE. Once the "fear" part is heard, and accepted, it can soften and a new path is opened. Fear itself without curiousity and love is crippling.
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Anne Naylor
Celebrant, Weddings and Other Blessings
12:40 PM on 04/13/2009
valeryrockwell

Thank you very much for your comment. I love the way you talk about "befriending" fear. Fear is not an enemy. Also about opening a new path through hearing and accepting fear. This to me also speaks to a creative response to fear.

I appreciate your thoughts.

Warmest best wishes,
Anne
09:16 PM on 04/12/2009
Thank you for your words of wisdom and important guidance today Easter. Also reading the Hendricks piece was the frosting on the cake. Such a blessing to have and you back more in my life through th3 Huffpost . Light expanding. Feel my gratefulness + my loving. Bea
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Anne Naylor
Celebrant, Weddings and Other Blessings
01:21 AM on 04/13/2009
Hello Bea,

Thank you so much for your comment and very kind words. I appreciate the Light expanding, your gratefulness and loving,

Many blessings to you,
Anne
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Kari Henley
Make a Wish- now make it bigger.
09:07 PM on 04/12/2009
HI Ann
Such an important post for right now.
Facing our fear by looking at it as energy for a new situation is brilliant!

So often the "fears" in our mind are not actually facts in reality.
I am a fainter and a freezer too! ha ha
What simple steps that would be lovely to carry around on a 3x5 card! Whether it is Eli going to work in a prison or daring to dream, we all need gentle reminders now and then.
Have a blessed weekend!
Kari
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Anne Naylor
Celebrant, Weddings and Other Blessings
01:19 AM on 04/13/2009
Hi Kari,

I really appreciate your comment - thank you! Reminders are a great thing.

Gloria Steinum wrote: I write what I need to know and teach what I need to learn - something along those lines.

There is something about the magic of writing which serves to remind me and keep me on track. Even our fear can be seen as a blessing.

Wishing you a very wonderful week ahead!

With love,
Anne
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Ed and Deb Shapiro
08:17 PM on 04/12/2009
Hi Anne, It's fun to connect with you- these are powerful questions

How are you dealing with your fears? Have you recently found courage within you and abilities that you did not know you had? What have you learned about your capacity for loving?

I began doing Yoga many years ago and always went for the light- I believed Yoga an such was about peace/happiness/joy/love and kept in those safe quarters never realizing there was a shadow. When the floor fell from under me and I lost the plot fear was the least of it. But through anger (which amazed me) I regained my sanity or better yet I accepted my insanity. Ultimately fear/anger and the shadow is where I learned the wisdom lies!
Loving is what holds the world/universe together. It is the sacred thread.

Big Hugs,

ed
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Anne Naylor
Celebrant, Weddings and Other Blessings
01:14 AM on 04/13/2009
Thank you dearest Ed for your comment and thoughtful responses to the questions. I love what you say about wisdom being in fear, anger and the shadow. The way you expressed it turned on a light for me.

To misquote the Bard, nothing is good or bad but thinking makes it so.

Loving as the sacred thread is a beautiful image. Of course.

I am grateful that I have found, and get to connect with, you through these HuffPo pages.

Hugs to you,
Anne
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Ed and Deb Shapiro
08:42 AM on 04/13/2009
Lovely Anne- It is a joy to know you as well

It is amazing and interesting how people meet and connect in these time- it was so very different before the internet - nowadays we can open our hearts in a caring way with kind words and we may or may not meet in person.

I do hope we meet someday, Maybe we will have a HP Living Party?

Ed
10:48 AM on 04/12/2009
Anne, what a wonderful post.

I'm sure you've read Jampolsky's "Love is letting go of Fear." if not, run out and buy a copy this morning!

I'm convinced the entire world lives mostly in fear, and fails to even recognize it. I struggle to replace fear with love every single day.

Thank you for your wonderful post. :)
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Anne Naylor
Celebrant, Weddings and Other Blessings
01:08 AM on 04/13/2009
wadenelson1

Thank you very much for your comment. It is a while since I read "Love is letting go of Fear". You have a wonderful mission to replace fear with love every day. You must be growing very rich in love!

Blessings to you,
Anne
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Dr. Cara Barker
author, artist, and Jungian Analyst,
11:22 PM on 04/11/2009
Again, dear Anne, you bring us to the heart of what matters, and with inspiration, too. When I think of fear, I cannot help but 'spell' it vertically: F= false
E= expectations
A= arising from

R= resistance to what's before us

When I am in fear, I am pushing away from what appears in the present, misusing my creative imagination by spinning fantasies of the worst case scenario. All of which is an attempt of my Monkey Mind (ego) to have the illusion of control over the unknown.

What a beautiful thing it is to witness the singer on this video: she harnasses her energy with the present, and we are the benefactors!

A Happy and Blessed Easter to you, Anne,
Cara
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Anne Naylor
Celebrant, Weddings and Other Blessings
01:43 AM on 04/12/2009
Dearest Cara,

Thank you very much for your Comment. I had not quite seen fear as resistance the way you describe it - but of course. That makes sense to me.

As something of a willful creature, prone to trying to control things to the way "I" want, I have met that resistance quite frequently. Letting go of trying to control is such a relief. Still a lesson for me. As they say: what is wisdom? Practice, practice, practice!

The singer touched me with her gentleness and presence. Really, life to be successful does not have to be harsh and punishing.

Many Easter blessings and love to you,
Anne
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Eli Davidson
Award Winning Women's Small Business Coach,
04:19 PM on 04/11/2009
Dearest Anne,
I must admit that the first day of going into the prison, I was afraid. I was ashamed to admit it. My body wouldn't let me off the hook. ( I used the washroom 11 times in 2 hours).

I spoke to one of the organizers who had done the program for several years. Having a witness calmed my fears. Once I met the amazing human beings who happened to reside in a prison all my fears went away!

Thank you for sharing!
Eli
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Anne Naylor
Celebrant, Weddings and Other Blessings
01:28 AM on 04/12/2009
Dearest Eli,

I so appreciate your presence here and your courageous spirit. Thank you for being the remarkable person that you are.

I would love that one day prisons become educational establishments for prisoners and visitors alike. There might be much to gain from the exchange.

God bless you and happy Easter.

Anne
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Dr. Judith Rich
Rx For The Soul: www.judithrich.com
12:39 PM on 04/11/2009
Greetings dearest Anne,

I always love your posts. There's "something about your writing" that communicates love in the face of fear and it's beyond the words you use. But I especially like this line: " Bless your fear. It has seeds of goodness in it".

This thought applies to so many things in life. To bless that which we cannot understand or embrace, indeed opens us to its goodness, for surely, if it's in our life, it's carrying a lesson and I believe all our lessons are good, even if they don't always appear to be so.

Thanks for always bringing us back to the place of truth and love.

Many blessings to you, this Easter weekend,
Judith
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Anne Naylor
Celebrant, Weddings and Other Blessings
01:24 AM on 04/12/2009
Easter greetings to you, Dearest Judith,

Thank you very much for your comment. I love what you say about blessing what we cannot understand or embrace and that all of our lessons are good. It is a pretty radical approach.

The image that comes to me is that when we hit "rock bottom" there is a trampoline we can use to bounce up again. I think when we are in touch with our human spirit, we have that capacity for freedom. True "liberty" perhaps?

As always, it is lovely to hear from you and have your perspective.

God bless you abundantly in every way,
Anne
12:19 PM on 04/11/2009
Dear Anne, thanks for your posts. I find them so uplifting. I love your statement "What if fear were a door that opened you to more of your inner spirit; your wisdom, understanding and
enthusiasm? " I have often felt short of cash and in this last year - have experienced a loss of income. As I practice relaxation and conscious breathing in the face of panic, I come present in the here and now and from there, I'm learning to let fear and other reactions pass through, like clouds. I'm discovering that who I truly am is much greater than my emotional reactions. In the loving of my true self all is well and I am led daily in new awareness of how abundant my life is. Tithing to my church also supports me in this and it never ceases to amaze me how funds show up when needed.
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Anne Naylor
Celebrant, Weddings and Other Blessings
01:17 AM on 04/12/2009
Dear jshea

Thank you very much for your comment. I love the description of how you address panic when you experience it. It sounds to me that you are very much in touch with the blessings in your life, regardless of what is happening in the world around you. What a beautiful freedom that is!

I appreciate your getting in touch.

With love and blessings to you for a very happy Easter,
Anne
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dandypuddin
11:45 AM on 04/11/2009
It would be great if Huff Post had an ongoing Course in Miracles study on here.
11:21 AM on 04/11/2009
“Suffer no anxiety, for he who is a sufferer of anxiety becomes regardless of enjoyment of the world and the spirit, and contraction happens to his body and soul.â€

Zoroaster

http://pitchbendpost.blogspot.com/
10:27 AM on 04/11/2009
As one goes through life, one gets beyond fearing the wrong things, such as the disapproval of those whose approval is not worth having because it is based on a false or shallow set of values. Learning to fear what one ought to fear, such as dishonest money or being paid for the least amount of work one can get away with, takes us to the constructive side of fear.
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Anne Naylor
Celebrant, Weddings and Other Blessings
01:12 AM on 04/12/2009
cktirumalai

Thank you for you insightful comment about the different aspects of fear. I agree that there is a value in listening for the constructive side of fear, as you describe it.

With love and blessings to you,
Anne