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Can An Ordinary Person Enjoy A State Of Grace?

Posted: 11/07/09 07:00 AM ET

As a divine being, a Soul, you bring spiritual light and love into this world.
You create a space for grace to be in your life.

Dr John-Roger

Can we create the conditions in which we lead grace-full lives? And if so how? Is it even possible to expect to live gracefully, with the world in so much chaos? My view is that there has never been a better time.

To live in grace is surely to experience our burdens being lifted from us from time to time; that our passage becomes smoother and more enjoyable, even when conditions seem hard to bear.

From Dictionary.com, here are some definitions of grace:
a.
the freely given, unmerited favour and love of God.
b.
the influence or spirit of God operating in humans to regenerate or strengthen them.
c.
a virtue or excellence of divine origin: the Christian graces.
d.
Also called state of grace, the condition of being in God's favour or one of the elect.

Here are some of the attributes that I believe can lead towards living more grace-fully:

1. Surrender...
... to a higher power

Let go of trying to control outcomes that may be beyond your sphere of influence. This is not so easy if you like to know what is going on, to make things happen exactly the way you want, and to direct the future. These days the future appears uncertain at best, so to try to control it is very frustrating. No wonder so many are suffering from sleeplessness. Click here for my earlier post on Sleeping Well.

A higher power you might see as God, or the Universe, or simply life itself. Years ago, travelling in India, I came to realize that there is much more to life than meets the eye. This "much more" is something extraordinary and life-sustaining. Grace seems to be part of it.

I do not at all understand the mystery of grace -
only that it meets us where we are but does not leave us where it found us.

Anne Lamott


2. Sacrifice and forgive....
.... the negative emotions: fear, doubt, anger, resentment, guilt, blame, shame

To dwell in negative emotion is to drain your energy and leave you feeling depleted and discouraged. To unblock the drains has two meanings. One is to release the negativity that may be clogging your thinking and well-being. Another is to let go of attitudes, relationships or some commitments that may be exhausting you.

Forgive yourself, not always so easy. Forgive others you feel have wronged you. You cannot change the past. You can create the future you would like to enjoy.

You are so weak. Give up to grace.
The ocean takes care of each wave
till it gets to shore.

Jalal ad-Din Rumi


3. Cultivate faith and trust

People who work in the arts fields - writing, painting, acting, music, sculpting - get used to a certain lack of security and develop ways to sustain their confidence and energy levels. A successful novelist friend uses these statements, which I love.

I am trusting and patient
I am calm
I understand that everything is happening perfectly
I have faith


Gracefulness has been defined to be the outward expression
of the inward harmony of the soul.

William Hazlitt


4. Serve with compassion...
.... give to those who can benefit from you

Anguish and anxiety trap us in a narrow vision of what is possible, for ourselves and others. The good news about bad news is that it can awaken our sense of compassion for those who are in a worse state than our own. Expressing empathy through action can serve you as much as those you serve.

In my recent post about Service I explored the value of our giving and serving.


5. Be thankful...
.... for all of the good you enjoy right now

Gratitude opens a channel (and the heart) for receiving. However little you feel you now have, and the losses you may have had to bear, be mindful of those blessings which in the past you may have taken for granted. Even small things, taken into account, can help you to relax and feel better.

Gratitude and grace seem to go hand in hand. I have found that when I have been grateful in a less than pleasant situation, grace has extended a friendly hand to me, a gift of some kind.

Grace is available for each of us every day - our spiritual daily bread -
but we've got to remember to ask for it with a grateful heart
and not worry about whether there will be enough for tomorrow.

Sarah Ban Breathnach

6. Be the blessings that you are..
... keep going!

It may just be one small step at a time, but each step you take will make a difference. It may not be the "perfect" step. If not, you will learn from it, so in that way each step will always be perfect.

Know that beneath the razzamatazz that is daily life, you are unique, and rich with many blessings in your innate nature. We all are.


7. Be prepared to be pleasantly surprised...
.... expect the best

As you stay open to expect the unexpected, you never know what good might be waiting for you around the next corner. Allow yourself to receive the best for you.

Grace is clear Spirit energy that comes to you without any conditions on it.

Dr John-Roger

As we grow aware of and appreciate the smallest signs of grace showing up, more are likely to meet us. What we celebrate, we receive more of. May you be enriched and rewarded with many blessings of grace in this coming holiday season.

Hayley Westenra sings Amazing Grace:

Have you ever been aware of the presence of grace in your life? Who do you consider to be a grace-full or gracious person? How do you think we could experience more grace as a way of being? I would love to hear from you.

Please feel free to leave a comment below, or contact me at clearresults@mac.com

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As a divine being, a Soul, you bring spiritual light and love into this world. You create a space for grace to be in your life. Dr John-Roger Can we create the conditions in which we lead grace-full ...
As a divine being, a Soul, you bring spiritual light and love into this world. You create a space for grace to be in your life. Dr John-Roger Can we create the conditions in which we lead grace-full ...
 
 
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Ed Gurowitz, Ph.D.
Writer, Consultant, Teacher
09:45 AM on 11/15/2009
Anne,

Thank you for this article - it's especially timely as we approach Thanksgiving in the US - "grace" and "gratitude" are very closely related.

Ed
02:38 AM on 11/10/2009
I do not believe that my Higher Power resembles anyone I have seen in paintings that are displayed in the Louvre. I do believe that our universe consists of an intelligent design that required a Supreme Being to create. I've always leaned towards this concept, but it was solidified when I began researching various theories of the Universe. As a recovered addict, it was crucial that I have a HP to believe in. Otherwise, I was doomed to depend on self-reliance which had gotten me nowhere fast.

I have been unemployed for 6 months and I am facing difficult times like much of America (and the world). I pray everyday for my HP to remove my fears and ego and to direct my attention to what She would have me be. I can not deny the instant peace I feel when I make a sincere request to receive guidance. I'm guessing that this feeling must be that of grace...
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Anne Naylor
Celebrant, Weddings and Other Blessings
05:48 AM on 11/10/2009
Dear Wake Up,

What you describe sounds like grace to me. You seem to be demonstrating courage in your life. When you sincerely ask for help, I have found it has a way of coming in.

Thank you for your contribution.

With love and blessings to you,
Anne
02:48 PM on 11/09/2009
Hi Anne,

All of your definitions of grace include reference to God or Christian. Yet the first definition I found while searching "grace definition" on Yahoo lists the Christian meanings as only a part of the meaning.

GRACE
n.
1.Seemingly effortless beauty or charm of movement, form, or proportion.
2.A characteristic or quality pleasing for its charm or refinement.
3.A sense of fitness or propriety.

4.A disposition to be generous or helpful
5.Mercy; clemency.
6.A favor rendered by one who need not do so;
7.A temporary immunity or exemption
8.Three sister goddesses in Greek mythology: Aglaia, Euphrosyne, and Thalia, who dispense charm and beauty.
9.Divine love bestowed freely .
10.The state of being sanctified by the favor of God.
11.An excellence granted by God.
12.A short prayer said before a meal.
13.A form of address for a duke, duchess, or archbishop.
14.Music. An appoggiatura, trill, or other musical ornanment in the music of 16th and 17th century England.

I am a fan and I always read you posts, I just wish you'd have been more inclusive in this particular post.

1. Surrender. I keep forgeting that control is only an illusion, so I keep trying to control things. Thanks for the reminder. I'll forget again, but at least I'm remembering right now. All of the steps you wrote to help cultivate grace ring true. I've been working on humility as well.

much love,
little brother
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HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
MoreDimensions
12:24 AM on 11/10/2009
Surrender is one of those life lessons that we all have to keep relearning.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Anne Naylor
Celebrant, Weddings and Other Blessings
12:57 AM on 11/10/2009
little brother, thank you so much for coming by once again. I chose from the definitions offered those referring to "theology", rather than all of them for the purpose of this discussion.

Surrender is a key that I have written on a post it above my desk. It helps to remind me to let the light in when I need some more clarity. Or humour. And certainly humility.

With love and appreciation to you,
Anne
11:49 AM on 11/09/2009
I guess, for me, that the issue is one of mindfulness.... I am carried, every moment, on the wings of grace... but sometimes i forget and sometimes I forget for a long time.
When I look back, though, I see that I have been so fortunate and have skirted some real hazards. The fear and the worry probably were not so necessary. I am grateful to see this.
In this way I know that there is no "worst case scenario"... No reason to ruminate on all the possible outcomes and living more of one's life in alternate futures than in the one real present. It is simply about living now and doing one's best now and being grateful for one's life now... That is the challenge of mindfulness.
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Anne Naylor
Celebrant, Weddings and Other Blessings
12:52 AM on 11/10/2009
What a beautiful description of mindfulness, lungfish. I love the image of "the wings of grace".

Thank you for your comment.

With love and appreciation,
Anne
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Diogenis
11:39 AM on 11/09/2009
Please define, "an ordinary person"!
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Anne Naylor
Celebrant, Weddings and Other Blessings
12:49 AM on 11/10/2009
Dear Diogenis,

In this context, ordinary as in not a saint or a mystic.

Thank you for asking.

Blessings to you,
Anne
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
CBella
10:42 AM on 11/09/2009
In my own experiences I have been able to enjoy Grace during times of great struggle. Only when I was able to finally admit that I did not have the answers and had to let go. Those moments were most recognizable to me.

Smaller moments often slip by and it is not until later when I reflect back that I see that Grace was present. I often feel that I label it with something else; luck, epiphany, moment of clarity, blessed, calmness or peacefulness.

I believe that Grace is a part of our lives every day and by recognizing it, makes it so much easier to give and receive.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Anne Naylor
Celebrant, Weddings and Other Blessings
12:48 AM on 11/10/2009
Your comment is a joy, CBella. Thank you for contributing your insights and awareness.

With love and blessings,
Anne
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Arithrianos
reality has already (w)on(e), surrender!
09:49 AM on 11/09/2009
Grace is what happens when we the engines and scrpits of ego and all the mechanisms of control are shut down and the light of our true SELF is revealed like the sun peeking in from behind clouds. Of course ego wants to control these monents and so begins a project, and this of course covers the grace right up again. Grace is always there in everyone, even murders and rapists, it is just a seen to those strong egoic types as a threat or a weakness sometimes, it is like an opening from the dark cave they have constructed, but noone can shut out who they really are all the time, the ego has many chinks in it where grace can come through. All of your advise is wonderful, all ego dissolving and so of course more likely to reveal more sun, not because removing clouds creates sun, it just reveals what was always there.
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Anne Naylor
Celebrant, Weddings and Other Blessings
12:46 AM on 11/10/2009
Thank you, Arithrianos, for once again shining your light.

Blessings to you,
Anne
06:45 AM on 11/09/2009
Thank you very much for this wonderful article and the beautiful song. I wonder if you know the Indian spiritual teacher Sri Sathya Sai Baba? He teaches much of what you are saying.
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Anne Naylor
Celebrant, Weddings and Other Blessings
07:35 AM on 11/09/2009
Dear Truth Wins

Thank you very much for your comment.

Yes, I know of Sri Sathya Sai Baba. I have an adopted Indian Mother who is a devotee of Sai Baba and so I have learnt a little about him from her. He has a very special presence that I feel when she talks of him.

With love and blessings to you,
Anne
08:09 AM on 11/09/2009
Nice that you can feel His presence - yes, He is a very special being.
And thank you for your good wishes to me, I wish the same to you.
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rivergirl301
My micro-bio is empty
09:49 PM on 11/08/2009
I receive grace every once in a while, and it completely blows me away. I will never cease to be stunned by grace--you know, stunned in a good way. Drops me to my knees, literally.

But surrender, that just completely throws me. I thoroughly understand the concept and I want to surrender, but I'm at a loss as to how to do so. Act as if (I have surrendered) for now? It's a goal!
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Anne Naylor
Celebrant, Weddings and Other Blessings
07:32 AM on 11/09/2009
Dear rivergirl301

What a delightful way you describe the presence of grace in your life.

Surrender is a very good goal. If you are ever feeling stuck, that is a good time to practise surrender. Or you are not sure of a way forward, again, surrender to being shown the way. Experiment! I am sure you will discover how it can work for you. Even having it in sight, you may well draw articles that talk about it, or hear from others how they practise surrender.

I appreciate your comment here.

With love and blessings,
Anne
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MoreDimensions
12:50 AM on 11/10/2009
Ten years ago almost to the day, I was lying on my living room floor in tears while holding my head. The pain from a whiplash injury was unbearable. I broke down and prayed for help. "Please help me. Whatever I need to learn, I will learn. Whatever I need to do, I will do."

My next strong conscious thought came an hour later. I realized that I was lying in bed reading a book with no idea how I got there. I closed the book and looked at the cover. The subject was how our thoughts and our prayers (positive and negative) affect the outcome of our lives. I soon went to sleep with a feeling of peace.

The next morning, I awoke and realized that everything had changed and that I would honor my prayers from the night before. Within 4 more months before I went back to work. I now enjoy a pain free life.

I learned that we have an inner power that wants us to heal and knows how to do it. I can not explain how all this works, but I do know that when our deepest desires are aligned with true healing we enter that state of grace. For now, I just accept the fact that the power is there and work on aligning my thoughts for my well being and continually ask for direction to be reveled to me. No ego, only love, is the key.
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Lisa Earle McLeod
Influence Expert, Leadership Speaker, Author
08:51 PM on 11/08/2009
The challenge is that we wait for grace to come to us, rather than being proactive, and creating the conditions that will allow us to come to grace.

We think that when our lives our perfect we will experience grace, when as your tips so eloquently show us, it is by learning to appreciate, and fully show up for our less than perfect lives, that we experience true grace.

Lisa Earle McLeod author of
Finding Grace When You Can't Even Find Clean Underwear
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Anne Naylor
Celebrant, Weddings and Other Blessings
07:28 AM on 11/09/2009
Thank you Lisa, very much for commenting here.

What we happen to think is "perfect" sometimes turns out not to be, and gets upgraded with the presence of grace, showing up when things are looking very messy.

Strange and wonderful world in which we live.

With love and blessings to you,
Anne
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Ed and Deb Shapiro
02:39 PM on 11/08/2009
BEAUTIFUL VIDEO! FULL OF GRACE..

we live in Grace all the time. We breathe, we walk we smile we hold hands and dance

Life is a gift of Grace

but we don't always recognize it. We want something more .. something that is extraordinary

it is all extraordinary. We just have to open our eyes to see.

Swami Satchidananda, HH the Dalai Lama and others are people who know this and are Grace.

May all people wake up to this wonder,

Ed
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Anne Naylor
Celebrant, Weddings and Other Blessings
07:25 AM on 11/09/2009
Dearest Ed,

Thank you for once again gracing this page with your presence!

"Open our eyes to see" - how true. We do live in a miraculous world, rich with wonder. This wonder can transform our doubt, even in the most unlikely places, such as through the global changes currently taking place, that are touching many of us.

Best love and blessings to you always, and all ways,
Anne
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
thinkingwomanmillstone
great, green, globs of greasy grimey GOPerspeak.
02:29 PM on 11/08/2009
I don't feel the need for Grace as I interpret your post. I just face each day and do my best because I am basically a good person. I feel no need for a spiritual being to approve or disapprove of what I do nor do I need a reward in an afterlife. I just live every day. I have serious problems to deal with and no solutions in sight but praying will change nothing. Nature, nurture and peristance are my tools. Apollo didn't drive a golden chariot across the sky and the presence of a God today has no more validity.
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Anne Naylor
Celebrant, Weddings and Other Blessings
07:21 AM on 11/09/2009
Dear thinkingwomanmillstone

Thank you very much for contributing your point of view here. You have excellent tools with nature, nurture and persistence.

I value what you say about: "I just face each day and do my best because I am basically a good person." You have no need for any outside agent to approve or disapprove or offer a reward.

What you describe sounds fulfilling to me, even and especially in the face of the problems you are dealing with.

With warmest regards to you,
Anne
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Diogenis
11:44 AM on 11/09/2009
I can only feel sadness and doubt in your response. When you doubt God, you are doubting yourself.
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thinkingwomanmillstone
great, green, globs of greasy grimey GOPerspeak.
12:29 PM on 11/09/2009
I don't doubt God, I firmly believe there is no God. It is very freeing to depend on myself and my own actions. I am not missing anything. If you aren't comfortable with this way of life, live according to your own precepts. Please, just don't ring my doorbell and tell me I'm going to hell, I'm taking a nap.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Dr. Cara Barker
author, artist, and Jungian Analyst,
12:32 PM on 11/08/2009
Anne, your subject is one so central. Grace is everywhere, but so often, I might be too distracted to witness it when unconnected with Center. So often people come for private work and 'want healing.' To which, it is my practice to admit: "I know nothing. Nor can I promise healing. We are fortunate, indeed, if Grace arrives. Meanwhile, what we can do is prepare the way, clear the space, attend to what's before us as honestly, openly, and warmly as is possible, and be grateful for whatever movement comes."

And so, I just love the quote you included: "I do not at all understand the mystery of grace -
only that it meets us where we are but does not leave us where it found us."
Anne Lamott

I thank you, Anne, and love the Light you spread,
Cara
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Anne Naylor
Celebrant, Weddings and Other Blessings
07:16 AM on 11/09/2009
Dearest Cara,

I love what you say here: "I know nothing. Nor can I promise healing. We are fortunate, indeed, if Grace arrives. Meanwhile, what we can do is prepare the way, clear the space, attend to what's before us as honestly, openly, and warmly as is possible, and be grateful for whatever movement comes."

Thank you for your bright presence here. I so appreciate the contribution you share.

Blessings and love to you,
Anne
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Paul David Walker
09:46 AM on 11/08/2009
Grace waits for everyone to accept. All we need to is ask. Thank you so much for this blog.
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Anne Naylor
Celebrant, Weddings and Other Blessings
11:42 AM on 11/08/2009
Dear Paul,

I love the sweet insight of your comment. Thank you for your contribution.

Blessings to you,
Anne
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Nathaliefranks
09:22 AM on 11/08/2009
I have experienced 'Grace' in such a miraculous way that my life was completely changed in moments.

I ask that God bless us all with 'Grace' from this day forward for the highest good of all concerned.

Just to look at the beauty in each person can bring forward a gracefull attitude,

Happy Sunday.
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Anne Naylor
Celebrant, Weddings and Other Blessings
11:41 AM on 11/08/2009
Dear Nathalie,

Thank you so much for commenting and for your blessing of Grace. The beauty in each one of us is I find extraordinary and at times, breathtaking to observe.

Wishing you a grace-filled week ahead!

With love and blessings,
Anne