Responding to my article last weekend,
Coping With Unexpected Challenges From My Elderly Parents one reader wrote of his experience with an elderly parent. He concluded:
I found out it really is true that if a tough experience doesn't kill you it will make you stronger. Examples of what I gained follows.
I transformed my eating lifestyle and have lost 22 lbs. My body is now as lean as it was in college. Plus, being with my Dad these years allowed me to see deeply into my own development as a human being and understand myself in a way that would otherwise have not been possible. Knowing the end is very near has allowed me the satisfaction of knowing that I got the job done. I did what I said I would do. Dad took care of me when I was a child and couldn't take of myself and it is gratifying to know I did the same for him. And I was able to get very complete with Dad... no baggage, no regrets.
And finally what I learned that I want to pass on to you or any other person that is facing taking care of their parents is this... take care of yourself. Take care of the caretaker. Otherwise you could have your own breakdown, like I did. And use the process to grow yourself, to expand yourself as a human being. Taking care of parents is fertile ground for personal development.
I had written about being in a fog of my own disorientation having returned home from spending time helping to take care of my elderly parents in England. After three days of feeling empty and flat, I had little motivation to pick up my life where I had left it. I thought I was losing my mind.
Have you ever found that a sense of doubt can paralyse you from doing anything? I wanted to change my mood.
Anne's Rule for Getting Unstuck #1: When in doubt, ask God..
One morning, I woke up with the thought: "If in doubt, ask God." For you, God might be the Universe, Divine Love, That Which Is, or any other term that would apply to the dimension beyond our normal seeing, feeling or hearing. I decided to post my thought on Facebook. I had received it with great clarity. Maybe it would assist someone else. What is more, it got me moving. A few comments encouraged me and led me the next day to:
Anne's Rule for Getting Unstuck #2: Go for a long walk and prepare to smile at a stranger. Hugs and smiles are small things but boy do they make a difference.
Getting up, going out with a smile and walking, even in bad weather, is very energizing. Have you ever noticed that when you are smiling, others smile back at you? I love that simple connection we can make with each other, even strangers. And the day after that, I posted on Facebook:
Anne's Rule for Getting Unstuck #3: First thing in the day, smile at yourself in the mirror with a "Good Morning" as if you are the person you love the most. Do this for 30 days in a row.
When I was with my parents, I always greeted them in the mornings with a big smile and a happy "Good Morning!" It made me feel good and seemed to lift their spirits. Why not do the same for me back at home? So I did and it worked. More sweet comments on Facebook and so I followed with day four:
Anne's Rule for Getting Unstuck #4: Plant Light Columns. Bless the land you stand on. Kitchen, car park, train station, bus stop, town hall, market, mall, airport, bathroom. The blessing blesses you.
I made my daily walk a priority, but why not add an extra dimension? Planting a Light Column is really placing a blessing wherever you happen to be. I have a particular favourite Light Column place in Cannes: a statue with a cross marking the origin of the well-known Croisette along by the bay of Cannes. The little cross looks out over the Mediterranean with its fresh sea breezes. This too lifted my spirits, leading me to:
Anne's Rule for Getting Unstuck #5: Dress up and go out. Get unstuck from your 21st Century electronic wizardry and breathe the fresh air. Have fun! The break will do you good.
In England, I had had 10 days without Internet connection and it was actually very refreshing. Why not do that more at home? Besides, dressing up made me feel much better. Oh the freedom and the lightness of being, which further directed me to:
Anne's Rule for Getting Unstuck #6: Lighten your load. Clear a cupboard. Empty it. Give it a good clean. Replace only what you really want to keep. Sell, give away, donate or throw out the rest.
A couple of week's ago I had a domestic disaster: the fridge broke down and died on me. For a few days I was without this convenience that I usually take for granted. In clearing out the old fridge, I realized I had few jars that were beyond their sell-by date. A new fridge was installed with fresh contents. My kitchen felt better. Finally, on the seventh day, I came to this Rule, which could have been number one:
Anne's Rule for Getting Unstuck #7: Tell someone you love that you love them. Kid sister, Granny, best friend, neighbour, teacher, big brother, sweetheart. Loving frees you up and keep things moving.
By the time I had completed my week of working the Rules, I was back and feeling my old self, reinvigorated and ready to go.
When you have an attack of the blahs, what do you do to get going? Do you have any good healthy mood shifters? When you get down, how do you pick yourself up? I would love to hear from you.
Please feel free to leave a comment below, or contact me at anne@annenaylor.com


For information on my future blogs, click on Become A Fan at the top.
Follow Anne Naylor on Twitter: www.twitter.com/Anne4Joy
Aging Parents | Elder Care | Senior Care
Aging parents: 5 warning signs of health problems - MayoClinic.com
Caring for Aging Parents - The New Old Age Blog - NYTimes.com
Becoming 'parent of your parent' an emotionally wrenching process ...
Love and joy to you,
Anne
With love and blessings to you,
Anne
The one that hit me hard was the third one: smile at yourself in the mirror. Believe it or not, that's a very hard one for me, because it would require actually *looking* at myself in the mirror. Normally I don't. Yes, it's possible to fix your hair and put on makeup and not actually LOOK at yourself! I've never liked the way I look, and I've never felt as though my actual physical appearance matches the ME I feel inside. So I avoid mirrors. And cameras.
But I may try. Note, please, the conditionals there!
Planting a Light column is as you say. Blessing a place for greater good to happen. Light columns really work in city areas or any places where there has been tension or distress.
Be gentle and experiment with looking at yourself n the mirror. Think about when you look at someone you love, perhaps in the eyes - sometimes recognized as the windows of the soul. One day it may become comfortable for you and you find yourself telling someone else to try it for themselves!
With love to you,
Anne
Walking around a lot. Preferably outside.
With love,
Anne
I'm glad you're unstuck, and I love how you do it (and that you shared those with us!).
When I'm stuck, I turn to music that makes me happy. I don't have an iPod; instead, I have all my music on my Blackberry which is always with me in a holster on my belt. It takes me only a second to grab it and play my "Happy" play list (all songs that almost immediately shift my attitude and emotion and create in me a much higher vibration).
Get bad news? Listen to something. Read something online that's distressing? Watch the "I Gotta Feeling" video/flash mob dance from Oprah (last season opener). If I'm scared or sad, or can't sleep, or feel resentful, or can't find the next step in a project... it's music--sometimes with singing! If it's really bad, I add dance to the mix ;) Nothing like dancing to Gaga in the living room like a crazed thing to create a profound shift in under five minutes! :D
I feel so lucky to have something that I can access so easily to shift me. And I suspect that we all have something like that, if we just think about it. Is there one thing you reliably know will shift you?
♥
A
I love your musical unstuckers - you are very creative! I love the Rock Choir YouTubes to pick me up. I love dancing too. Sometimes, it is just being aware enough that my energy is flat and I need to do something about it. Stuckness can creep up unnoticed and settle in like an unwanted guest. Awareness is a great blessing because it can lead to new choices.
Thank you very much for your contribution!
With love and appreciation,
Anne
ski ski ski ski ski -
& meditate
Luvluv
Ed
Hard to ever see you stuck! If you are not skiing or meditating, you are dancing.
Joy to your world,
Anne
Anne ROCKS! :-))
Many blessings to you,
Anne
Good to have you back on HuffPost!
Loved your blog on 'Getting Unstuck.' As one of my followers on twitter said, 'Beautifully written.' And it is, so much so, it alerted me Big Time to my 'stuckness.' Thank you, Anne, for brightening up an otherwise lackluster day...
Love,
Malcolm
How good to see you here! Thank you for showing up. I hope your next days will also become brighter!
With love to you,
Anne
It's good to see you posting again. Haven't seen you on the Living page in awhile and I've been wondering how you are. "Progress is progress no matter how small".....
Here's to baby steps, or giant leaps, whichever floats your boat.......
Judith
Indeed!
Thank you for commenting here. Getting things done and taking small steps rate high in my book. During that week when I wrote and worked my Rules, each little move was a triumph.
With love and best wishes to you,
Anne
It seems a waste to me to not be with a person when they are right there with you. As good as electronic communications are, there is no substitute for the real thing. So much gets communicated in person that does not travel electronically. A real hug is the best!
Warmest good wishes to you,
Anne
Blessings to you,
Anne
I understand what you mean about confusion and doubt having their own purpose. This very much matches my experience. It is all a blessing when I choose to see it that way.
My weekend has been absolutely wonderful - I hope yours has been too!
With love and blessings to you,
Anne
All of your suggestions are great (particularly the un-cluttering), but this one is my favorite. When my son and I are fed up, we go to a special trail and hike it. It's only a half-day hike, about 8 miles, but when we're finished, it's like we've been reborn. On a biological level, the trees absorb CO2 and emit oxygen; on a spiritual level, the trees absorb worry, stress and frustration and emit a timelessness, a sense that they patiently stand in place, going nowhere but being where they need to be. Those trees were there when we thought the cold war was the end of the world; when JFK, RFK, Martin Luther King Jr, and John Lennon were shot; when I first saw Sharon and fell in love; when Steve was born. They were there on wonderful days and terrible days. They stand in timelessness and we remember that we are timeless as well. We remember that the world would do well to "be still and know God". When we're done with our hike, it's easier to see the soul of people on the street, and to smile and look into their eyes and say in our hearts, "Life is good."
My favorite getting unstuck straegy is to try something new, take new territory, color completely outside the lines.
As an example, for my upcoming birthday next month, and to celebrate the beginning of my (gulp) 70th year, I'm going to start taking climbing lessons. I have no idea if I can do it, or if I'll even like it, but I'm going to give it try. What the hey, as a reader commented on my post last week.... "I've never been as old as I am today and I'll never be as young as I am right now", or something to that effect.
For me, life is just too short to stay stuck. No matter the circumstances, to keep the energy moving in some way, and you've outlined many good suggestions here, is critical to creating a flow. I believe opportunity and possibilities are infinite. We just need to avail ourselves of them.
Here's to freedom! Much love to you as always,
Judith
I love your comment. Reading about your trail walk and the trees is so nurturing and inspiring - thank you!
And thank you so much for your caring. I never knew. But I have had the sense of "the resonant murmuring of compassion and empathy". A knowing that there are others "out there" who are wishing me well and it is a lovely feeling of comfort and support.
The break was good in its way and I have been making some valuable discoveries in the process. Nothing is lost!
With love and appreciation to you and Sharon,
Anne