Is it possible to surrender, and still win? How important is it for you to hold to your point of view in a discussion, or argument, and not let go? What value could you get from surrendering?
To surrender, or give up, has the several meanings. One is to give up in resignation, with a sense of failure perhaps, or defeat. Another is to give up to a higher possibility.
Take my 92 year young friend, Trixie at the end of last week. Her television faltered and the man who had installed it was away on holiday for three weeks. Living on her own, a television is a valuable source of entertainment and information for her. She was distressed at the loss and depressed with herself for being so dependent on the television.
Trixie is a firm believer in God, so I suggested we place the situation in God's hands and not be too concerned about it. A solution came about in a sweet way through my hairdresser and an expert Polish electrician she knows. By Sunday evening, the television was working again and we enjoyed a glass of wine and cheese toast as we watched it.
The point here is that it was easy for me to remind Trixie to put the situation in God's hands, to surrender it, and not to worry. Do you ever find yourself telling others what you need to hear yourself? When I was contemplating what to write this week, the word "surrender" came to mind. I rejected it. What on earth can I say about surrender? Then I surrendered that thought, and here I am.
Do you tend to worry, or do you have faith and trust in things working out well? What would it take for you to surrender anxiety and concern to be more at peace and ease with things as they are? My experience has been that in surrendering, or letting go of fear, I allow a space for fresh input, inspiration and clarity that I would otherwise have missed. Fear is often about the unknown. In the openness of surrender comes information and possibility.
Why would anyone resist the letting go? In surrender, the space that opens is immense and rich, not limited by the finite mind and emotions of the ego; those feelings of being in control and powerful. What if there were greater "control" by co-operating with what is immediately present, and not having to provide answers ahead of time?
It is possible to not surrender an objective, goal or intention while surrendering to a higher source, life or the universe for how to go about achieving it. Have you ever surrendered an issue or problem last thing at night, and surrendered it to sleep? Then woken up with an answer that you could act upon?
On Monday, a friend passed me a book: Joy-Full Holistic Remedies. How to experience your natural ability to heal by Georgie Holbrook. Georgie tells her inspiring and courageous story of healing the painful and disfiguring facial condition of rosacea. She was told by doctors she would never be healed. She surrendered the limiting views of others, held to her intention of healing and surrendered to her intuitive guidance for the steps she could take to achieve her result.
Surrendering might involve lifting above the differences that divide, into the greater field of love that connects and unites us. What do I mean by that? Four members of the same family could each have a point of view about a question. Emotions could run high, each defending the need to be right. Through communication and listening, each one could be heard while surrendering their attachment to personal opinions. Talking, listening and being heard is one way that love is expressed.
As the saying goes, would you rather be right, or happy? Most of us might opt for the happiness that loving brings. For "family", you could also read team at work, community council, government agency or any enterprise where people get together for a joint purpose.
Do you ever take things personally in an argument, or can you surrender to a larger picture which embraces the common ground for all concerned? When things are not going the way you want, you may miss the value or hidden meaning available in looking beyond the way you normally view events.
Do you resist change, or do you surrender to and welcome it? Moment by moment, nothing is quite the same. Life is constantly evolving, now more rapidly than ever. You can resist it, or move with it. Your choice.
What could it mean: to surrender to love? Could you imagine awakening to more of the beauty inherent in all life, and in you; to appreciate the beauty in the person waiting in line with you; to notice the sweetness of intent behind misunderstandings or disappointments; to touch to the empathy of common feeling with those who struggle; to witness the joy in a child?
Could you surrender the need to be seen to be successful in the eyes of the world, to take pressures off and to enjoy more fully your life as it unfolds towards you? Could you surrender a pattern of comparing yourself to others - the size or shape of your body for example? None of us is exactly the same. How wonderful to be simply and gracefully who you are, no more no less.
The most difficult times we encounter can lead us to greater understanding and wisdom. What is the value in surrendering to them? We relax. We are grow at peace with ourselves. Life flows better. We are more fulfilled with things the way they are, less demanding and complaining.
Surrender is a powerful choice that opens a door to unseen treasures. It is not to give up on your heartfelt dreams and intentions, but to awaken to more of the astonishing ways of fulfilling them.
A friend sent me the following, which spoke to me of people who surrender:
There are people whose expectations are different than most of ours. These are people who have made the transition to adulthood and not lost the innocence, joy and power of childhood. They are rare but perhaps you have been fortunate enough to know one of them. These exceptional people are content as they are--where they are. They are more responsive to beauty. They are less driven by egocentric needs and more helpful and responsive to the needs of others. They are less fearful. They are creative, innovative, and playful. They are lovable and have an impish sense of humor. You may find yourself being drawn to them and perhaps thinking, "This is a wonderful human being. If we could all be like her our world would be a safe and beautiful place." Abraham Maslow calls these people "Transcenders." From Beyond Happiness by Frank J. Kinslow
Have you ever found it hard to surrender? What does surrender mean for you? How has surrendering benefitted you in the past?
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The love affair continues. I am surrendered to loving your Trixie, and to loving you!
What does surrender mean to me? It means letting go of my little Plan, for the Plan-less. It means stepping off the merry-go-round in order to simply Be. Surrender means remembering I am but a grain of sand, on a magnificent beach of sand. Surrender means reconnecting with the One Life that courses through my veins and yours. Surrender means breathing in, breathing out, enjoying this moment, this moment, this moment, despite the appearance of circumstances or conditions. Surrender means remembering there is no other place to be than here, now....here..now....with gratitude.
Love,
Cara
I am with you! Here now with gratitude is so much what features in my best life.
See you on the Beach!
With love,
Anne
Surrender is a clever ploy for husbands too!
With love and blessings to you,
Anne
What gems you share - thank you!
No victory really unless everyone wins. This could be trailed as a banner across the skies for all to see!
May you be abundantly blessed in every way.
With love,
Anne
I love this quote on surrender:
If you surrender to the wind, you can ride it. ~Toni Morrison
That has been my experience with surrender. I love our open-ended world travel lifestyle because it forces us to live in the now and constantly surrender and trust.
It has amazed us that even when we run into "disaster" along the way, some how there is also good luck in that and a perfection.
I had a great lesson in surrender recently that will stay with me forever, because it was only a fleeting second, but one that was magnified to seem to last for ages.
http://www.soultravelers3.com/2009/09/-a-travelers-tragic-tale-handling-travel-disasters-medical-emergency-.html
I had a bike wreck on the Danube that did result in a very serious injury, but as I fell, in that long moment ,I felt completely at peace and trusting. It was a very powerful learning because my brother had died at 40 in a freak bike wreck, so this insight gave me greater inner peace for my own personal process and an answer to a prayer of wondering how he felt before he passed.
It's been a long, hard rode to recovery and It's still not complete 8 months later, so I've learned more lessons on acceptance and surrender & seeing the blessing even in "disasters".
It really is all about surrendering to that inner "Wind" so that you can ride it. ;)
So good to see you here - thank you for commenting. I had not read your bike wreck story before - I am glad that all was well in the end, with some beautiful insights in the process.
I love the: "surrendering to that inner "Wind" so that you can ride it. "
What a beautiful journey you have such that you live in the now with surrender and trust. It sounds to me like a recipe for grace.
God bless you abundantly in every way on your travels,
Anne
Thank you very much for your comment. I agree with you that surrender is a loaded word.
My experience has been that when I can surrender to the love within me, then the "battles" take on another form. Winning is not one-sided and love has its own quality of assertiveness, if that makes any sense.
With warmest good wishes,
Anne
the mantra for this day is .. what about me- ha
Have you ever found it hard to surrender? - for me now-a-days surrender is a constant as I meditate and teach that true happiness can never be experienced by a selfish person - it is just the way it is..
as my teacher Swami Satchidnanda says - "Human beings are the only ones that eat their own fruit." Have you ever seen an apple tree eating it's own fruit? ha
What does surrender mean for you?
service - other - joy!
Ed
Thank you! I was hearing the other day from a friend who uses the mantra adopted from Wayne Dyer that goes: How may I serve?
You remind me of the value of surrendering to service.
Huge love and blessings to you,
Anne
Mia Rose
Thank you very much for your comment.
I love what you say: "Surrender is the foundation of living a healthy, happy life." I wonder how this concept could be made part of mainstream education.
With warmest good wishes to you,
Anne
What an interesting name! I had to look up Pyrrhic victory. Yes,
Thank you for commenting.
With love to you,
Anne
Not sure if it is this classic Type A personality driven, strong-willed, determined, analytical woman who must have clarity as well seeks answers, and by the way she possesses my body... often, she makes surrendering so difficult: But I do know when I surrender, it is not because of weakness.
Yet, I must surrender to some things daily ... sometimes hourly.
Cheese toast and wine really does sound good.
surrender is the opposite of insisting that you 'must have clarity'.
And I'd go even one step further: there is a perfectly objective and hardcore reason why surrender is a force of renewal, stemming from this equivalent view on the situation. It is none other than the fact that clarity cannot always be had and that because of that, insisting on it can imply that you're doomed - which you avoid by surrendering.
Classic A type personality can be very powerful in the process of surrender.
Thank you very much for your comment, JFaye.
With love to you,
Anne
My mother came out for dinner today. Told her about the cheese toast and wine. (She's turning 80 this year and is beginning to show some signs of dementia.) Served her grilled rack of lamb, greek potatoes, green beans and a wonderful Artesian bread pudding with fresh blackberries. Just as we began to eat, I asked "Mother would you like a glass of wine?" Initially, she said no... Reminded her of the cheese toast and wine and then remembered my new crystal goblets ... still in boxes. A different approach, I suggested she help me break in my new glasses. She agreed. Removed two glasses from the box, washed them and poured a wonderful French wine. Her face beamed as we toasted and I thought this is something I must surrender to... my Mother is getting old.
Earlier today at Whole Foods I bought some cheese; forgot the bread. But will make it a point on her next visit to serve cheese toast with that glass of wine.
Thank you...
Thanks for this one, Anne!
:-)
But there really isn't much of a danger in seeking adventure (in this sense) as long as you have a good enough network of sources telling you when to let go. It's certainly not good enough if that network consists of you and you only.
With love to you,
Anne
The act of surrender is the signal that we have voted to give the power to our Spiritual or Authentic nature rather than our ego. It isn't easy and often feels very counter intuitive. Surrender is 'giving up' to hour higher self.
Surrender and acceptance are the higher road to take.
Surrender to the higher self - certainly matches my sense of things. We can always potentially choose to take that "higher road" and are the better off for it.
God bless you abundantly in every way,
Anne
I so agree with you about making the choice and knowing which choice to make at any time. To me, that is about having conscious awareness rather than being reactive.
With love to you,
Anne
I have never had an issue "surrendering" in an argument. I have always, since I was a child, there is incredible power in letting the other person be right. And I find no ego or other reduction in saying "I am wrong." I just don't care about it-- and the other person always feels better, they end up more on my "team"-- and I can just go on about my day, or my journey in life. For me that is a very "safe" place to interact from.
Having just taken a moment to read the way "surrender" is defined in multiple dictionaries-- I understand what my original reticence was in answering the question. Most of the definitions I found define "surrender" as giving up TO or giving power and control TO another.
I am not sure I surrender TO anyone or anything-- that feels different than what I actually do. What I do seems to be more about BEING "surrendered" inside myself-- maybe TO myself and a certain state of Being where winning and losing a discussion or a point is not the issue, but simply being in my Peace, Loving, Okay-ness, Cooperation, etc. within myself and Self-- and with others and the World is.
It mollifies the other person but allows me to stick to my guns without caving. I agree with you, Taliesin.
With love and blessings to you,
Anne
Thank you very much for your thoughtful words and wise comment. I appreciate very much what you have to say here.
With love, joy and peace to you,
Anne
The nearby grasses bend with the storm, going with the flow, perennially sustained.
The nearby grasses bend with the storm, going with the flow, perennially sustained.
---
Thank you so much!
That was more like something about birds and seeds...
anyway, he also has some nice tree metaphors, doesn't he?
:-)
I love how you draw the comparison between purpose of life and winning.
With warmest good wishes,
Anne