This week, I went to the screening of Biutiful, one of the entries at the Cannes Film Festival competing for the Palme d'Or award. Set in the seamy side of Barcelona, the movie could have been violent, cold-blooded and grim. It was not. The audience was deeply silent and captivated. It had a redeeming feature. Each of the main characters demonstrated the power of love in some form.
Do you ever feel powerless in the face of the economic downturn; government decisions; the choices your children make in their careers, friendships and the way they pass their time? Do you fear powerlessness about what might happen in the future?
A few days ago, I observed a cacophony of powerlessness in a group of friends energetically engaged in a political discussion. I found it draining.
On my recent trip to England, I stayed with an inspiring family whose two children were born profoundly deaf. These beautiful children have now received bilateral cochlea implants, and the beginning of living in a hearing world. It is a long road for them to adapt to hearing with the Auditory Verbal and other therapies they are having.
While visiting, I was honoured to attend the launch of the new London centre for Auditory Verbal therapy and to meet some of the parents who were attending.
In England, Auditory Verbal therapy is still something of a new venture. These pioneering parents told stories which could have been harrowing but were filled with hope and accomplishment; passion, commitment and pride. Powerless? Yes, perhaps in the face of some of the challenges they were meeting. But never hopeless. The power of love finds a way.
What is it with "power struggles" at home, or at work, or in the community? The very word struggle implies a lessening of power. What is it about power that we seem to need it, when in fact, we already have it?
For the last two weeks, I had been without my usual phone and internet connections. As advised, I had done the unplugging and rebooting, to no effect. Eventually, the phone company assessed that the line was "instable" and sent a man to have a look at it. Technology is wonderful -- until it fails when you have become dependent upon it, powerless to effect a reconnection.
While not properly connected, I sort of enjoyed that I could not use the phone as I normally would. I felt open and relaxed that eventually a solution would be found. Finally, a charming technician came and found several faults which he was able to satisfactorily repair and make good. I was so happy and grateful to be connected again. Sometimes, the only thing over which we have any power is our attitude: either to berate circumstances, or to cooperate with them.
When your sense of power is based on the personalty or ego, then life is tough. You are likely to meet struggle, pain and hardship. There is another option. The spirit that you are is immense and magnificent. You can call on it at any time.
When you look into the eyes of small babies, you see the human spirit as it is, unmasked. The same spirit never leaves you in adult life. You may lose the awareness of it through events that happen, or your perception of them. As an adult, you can become mindful once again of that powerful innocence -- a certain inner sense -- through meditation, reflection and contemplation.
Consider that you have the power and influence to freely direct yourself right now.
What do you want to do with that power and influence?
That power and influence within you is designed to direct your life
to success and fulfillment. You have tremendous influence right now.
You could go in any direction.
Where do you want to go?
-John Morton
As an adult, you can move from the external power of the personality and return into the authentic power of your human spirit. There are keys for doing this. Here are a few. There are more.
You have the power to:
1. Accept yourself as you are, without criticism or harsh judgment.
2. Cooperate with the challenges you face so that you find a solution that works for you.
3. Understand and be in support of your aims and intentions to better yourself and your life.
4. Take a deep breath and begin to relax when feeling stressed.
5. Focus on the present moment and the immediate gifts it has for you.
6. Forgive yourself, your misunderstandings and disappointments.
7. Forgive others who let you down, hurt or abuse you in some way.
8. Be a giving person -- of your time, talents, money, joy, skills and vision.
9. Say "No" to a request you are unable to fulfil.
10. Take some small action when you feel stuck.
11. Make lemonade when life delivers its lemons to you.
12. Find opportunity where there is apparently none.
13. Learn from your experiences.
14. Choose to get up one more time after you fall down,
15. Praise and reward yourself when you do well.
A few days ago, I was talking to the indomitable 92-year-old Trixie about overcoming powerlessness. She knew what it was from her experience. She suggested keeping an open mind to get out of a situation of being powerless; adding that if you empower others (with your enthusiasm and encouragement), you will in turn be empowered.
Let yourself explore "what if?" from a place of innocence and wonderment.
What if you do have the power to choose light over darkness?
What if you have the power to choose connection and oneness
over separation and loneliness?
To look for the blessings in every moment?
To love yourself no matter what?
-John-Roger
The French language has two words for power: Puissance, the feminine and receptive, and pouvoir, the masculine and proactive. The best fuel for both is loving.
What are the powers you have discovered in yourself? Have you ever overcome a challenge that you thought you never could? Who do you know whose spirit most inspires you?
Please feel free to leave a comment below, or contact me at anne@annenaylor.com

Re-tweet or pass to friends who may enjoy this post.
For updates on The New Wealth Book, click here for the latest from the New Wealth Book Blog 5 Ways To Be More Powerful


For information on my future blogs, click on Become A Fan at the top.
Follow Anne Naylor on Twitter: www.twitter.com/Anne4Joy
Tom Ferry: The 4 Addictions That Destroy Your Dreams (They're Not What You Think)
Anne Naylor: Turning Loneliness Into Deeper Connection
Your list of choices all collapse into one for me:
"I can choose peace rather than this." -- A Course In Miracles
This list is a tremendous help because it answers the question, "Just how do I go about choosing peace?" Practical how to's take ethereal ideas and place them squarely within our human grasp.
Masterfully done, Anne. Thank you.
Cynthia
I can feel helpless in the face of various problems I've got, but actually, when I face facts, I'm not completely powerless over most of them. Even the fibro... when I stick with my doctor's recommendations, it's less of a problem.
Above all, though, I have to keep on keeping on, keep on repeating that fourteenth step. As I've said in the past, I've turned over enough new leaves for several forests. :) But I have to believe that the repetition is just Life.
Thank you for your comment and kind words.
Bravo for keeping to the fourteenth step! I love your expression: I've turned over enough new leaves for several forests.
Resilience is a great quality to master.
With love to you,
Anne
I just returned from NYC, Chicago, etc, and was thinking a great deal about the theme you describe here (having been at a number of airports, and all this entails these days.) I'd have to say that for me, the power of choice is one of the tops on my list. No matter what happens, we can always choose how we want to respond. Like many of us, I've had too many family members given pretty hopeless diagnoses, that is hopeless, if we want to 'measure' what this means to others, or the medical model. The 'hope' has come in the inbetween spaces, the places where diagnostics, and protocals forgets all about the Human Spirit's amazing capacity to find gold in the caca.
Central to this, for me, is the power of love. When I am in the Presence of Love expressing itself beyond the self-imposed boundaries of monkey mind, my Spirit soars, my heart sings, and I remember to be grateful for the many who inspire, which includes you, Little Missy!
Love,
Cara
I am so happy to see you here back from your travels!
"Hope in the in between spaces", and "gold in the caca" - Divine! The spirit within us is so remarkable that it will find joy where there might otherwise be none - as I have heard from two lots of friends, who have gone to work with children in East Africa.
Thank you for your special presence and the Power of Love that you are.
Huge love to you,
Anne
Coping with powerlessness is not something to be done in isolation; the solution is not individualistic, it is collective and communal.
When I help others, I help myself - I have power to do things that fill me with a sense of propriety and dignity. There is no greater power than that which comes from participating in the free flow of give and take with others - and by extension - the universe.
Power comes from interacting with integrity with other humans, with the environment, and with the universe.
Thank you for your thoughts thus far.
In my experience, it is very true that we are much more powerful when we work together than when we try in isolation to regain a sense of our beauty and contribution into life around us.
Ultimately, we are all one.
With love and joy to you,
Anne
Thank you for your kind words!
Peace, happiness and Joy to you,
Anne
I've been thinking about this topic a lot myself because there are millions of people in the world who feel completely powerless over their circumstances, and who, in effect, are powerless to change them. People living in Iraq and Afghanistan and other war-torn areas of the world , innocent people, totally powerless to change the course of history as it's happening right now at ground zero of their lives.
My children's late father had Alzheimer's for 10 years and I was completely powerless to alter the course of his disease or change the trajectory of his life. There are many times when we all feel powerless. Everyone confronts adversity at some time in their life, just live long enough and life will insure that we do. I don't think for one moment that you have not had your share.
We don't always have power to change our circumstances but we always have the power to determine how we'll deal with them. We might not be able to "move the river" as you say, but we have the power to choose if we'll swim in it, sail on it, go scuba diving or wind surfing. No one can take our power to choose how we feel unless we give that power away. And unfortunately, all too often that's just what we do.
Thanks for taking on this "hefty" subject!
Love to you,
Judith
Thank you for being here. Your presence is very welcome. The subject is on the "hefty" side - maybe I will go for something pink and fluffy next weekend!
I too feel for the powerless people in war-torn areas of the world you describe. My heart goes out to them.
This is so true: "No one can take our power to choose how we feel unless we give that power away."
To me, that is one of life's greatest lessons at the moment. Choosing how we feel, no matter the circumstances. When we do that, we rise as giants. And I do notice some giants emerging.
We live in a remarkable world with extraordinary people around us, for whom I am very grateful.
With much love to you,
Anne
There's enough "pink and fluffy" on these pages to go around. Let's have some "meat" on these bones! :-)
We have so much power to make healthy choices any second. Thank you so much for illustrating the power we have each second!!!
Eli
So very good to see you here! Thank you for your kind words.
Yes to: "We have so much power to make healthy choices any second." I am still learning the absolute truth of this!
Warm love and appreciation to and for you,
Anne
G-d grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
(You may substitute any of the slight variations on this.)
I don't mean this flippantly at all. Sometimes simple is better. This is very applicable to what so many of us (you, me, others) are going through with today's struggles. Many of you have lost so much of what you had, what defined you, what gave you sustenance. When you are at what seems to be the bottom, it is hard cope, to have hope, to "have the right attitude."
I can't begin to presume to tell you how to pull up from the depths you are in, but many of you already have seized onto what will keep you going. One attitude shift (after you give yourselves time to grieve for your losses) is to recognize a strange sort of "unburdening" that can give you the time and freedom to develop something new, starting with a support network.
My spirit is with you, rooting for you, for we truly are "in this together."
Thank you for your heartfelt comment. I appreciate your sense of empathy for what others are experiencing at this time.
Yes, a support network is a tremendous asset when times are hard. None of us is truly alone. It is good to know that we have friends who are on our side with an encouraging word.
With love and warmest good wishes to you,
Anne
I agree with you: power is not moral. It can be used to serve or destroy. It is up to us to choose how we wish to use it.
As much as I can, I prepare to use the power that I have for a good intention. For me that is generally more rewarding. But I have no control how others choose to act.
I appreciate your making the point!
With joy and happiness to you,
Anne
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thank you for another poignant post. These words jumped out at me as I read . It seems that we often equate power with control- being able to have our way or the results that we feel are just and suitable or convenient.
Personal power seems to be about the strength to accept what is and face it on its own terms. After dealing with a parent's Alzheimer's most of my adult life (15 years) from college age until now I have often felt an overwhelming powerlessness in not being able to have the circumstances be different or better.
Ironically the power has come from learning how to deal with the illness and in being grateful for the good moments we do share . Somehow being receptive to the many insights and gifts that come from caring for a loved one can be humbling.
BTW that is a great list.
Great to see you here - thank you for taking the time to comment.
Your words are very touching to me. This rings very true for me: "Personal power seems to be about the strength to accept what is and face it on its own terms."
In my experience, adversity has led to an increase of my sense of personal power when there were circumstances over which I had seemingly no control in the way we usually think of it.
I appreciate very much what you have written here.
May you be abundantly blessed in every way!
With love,
Anne