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Anne Naylor

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The Law of Empathy for Health and Well-Being

Posted: 09/25/2010 10:13 am

Last week, I started reading "Living the Spiritual Principles of Health and Well-Being" by Drs. John-Roger and Paul Kaye soon to be released with book signings in Europe.

The book offers practical wisdom presented in several sections. One section that particularly fascinated me is "Causes and Cures of Disease." Many illnesses have an underlying emotional disturbance causing them, and in my own experience, that has certainly been the case. I hasten to add that blaming an emotional response for an illness does not further health and well-being. Quite the reverse.

In the book, one of the causes attributed to disease is fear. Its cure is empathy. What if there were no real source of fear, although the feeling of fear is real enough? Your mind and emotions create the feeling of fear through imagining, for example, the worst possible outcome. You may be drawn to news items which focus on negative scenarios. News agencies make their profit through our attraction to drama and what a friend calls "awful-ization." It is your thoughts about a situation that produce feelings of fear.

One of my most memorable experiences of fear was the first time I was in an earthquake, in Carpenteria, California. I was on my own in a fairly large house which we had rented for a few months. When the earthquake was happening and the house was rolling around (well constructed for earthquake conditions) I enjoyed the movement. I was in bed around 4:30 a.m. When the movement stopped and my mind started imagining what might have happened if ... the walls had come down, glass had fallen all over me, I ripped in to my feet with broken glass and so forth, I felt really scared. I was more shaken by my thoughts about it than by the event itself.

The Law of Empathy is the fifth spiritual law. The first is Acceptance, followed by Cooperation, then Understanding and Enthusiasm. Spiritual laws, unlike the laws of the land, are those which guide and direct our loving. Spiritually, we are not punished for our sins or shortcomings. We are punished by them. That is to say, it is when we go off track, or are separated, from our loving nature that we tend to experience imbalance and dis-ease.

More often than not, we simply do not know what good might be right around the corner of any crisis. There are many who are viewing the current global disturbances as creative opportunities to effect solutions to the issues we are facing. This could well turn out to be the most creative and productive era of all human existence. No one person, or even inspired leader, is in direct control of what the future holds. Lack of control for many is scary.

I have noticed those who make gloomy pronouncements about the future want to seem right about their predictions, and in control somehow. It is tempting to buy into the awful-ization. Personal concerns such as: What if I fail? What if I lose all my friends? What if I never find another job? What if my husband/wife rejects me? Those feelings of fear can hold you back from engaging in life, and deriving fulfillment from getting on with what is right in front of you.

So where does empathy come in? Empathy is a form of understanding. Fear cannot abide in an environment where there is understanding. Understanding is being aware of the thoughts that have produced the feelings, and literally standing under or in support of the greater, loving spirit that is present. Empathy and compassion offer you the opportunity to be with those feelings as they are, without any criticism, shame or blame.

Empathy respects your inner strength or innate essence, to know and do what is true for you. In her recent article, Judith Johnson writes about The Power of Bearing Witness. It speaks to empathy in action.

The action may be as simple as holding a hand, listening, smiling, being at one with what is taking place without having to fix it. It takes a certain strength and love to do so. You are not in control. You are cooperating with the love present, in yourself and the other person. This love heals on many levels. You may look beyond what you see on the face of things to recognize something deeper going on, more real, more connected, more intimate, more safe. This vibrant safety I view as the human spirit.

In stressful times, you can extend empathy towards yourself with care, understanding and getting to know how your thoughts are disturbing you. Instead of being critical and condemning towards yourself with blame and judgments about how you think you should be, do or feel differently, you can accept yourself as you are, in that moment. The feelings will change.

Where fear isolates, empathy connects. When you have understanding, you can then use the energy of fear to get active, to do what needs to be completed, to see friends, write a letter, make a phone call, do something for the joy of it.

Instead of fear holding you back, you may find that fear translates into awe and inspiration. The essence of fear is love, awaiting awakening.


We are what we repeatedly do, excellence then is not an act, but a habit.
Aristotle

Do you know someone who is skilled at offering empathy? How do you think empathy can assist the healing process? What are the most effective ways you know to express or receive empathy?
 
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Last week, I started reading "Living the Spiritual Principles of Health and Well-Being" by Drs. John-Roger and Paul Kaye soon to be released with book signings in Europe. The book offers practical wi...
Last week, I started reading "Living the Spiritual Principles of Health and Well-Being" by Drs. John-Roger and Paul Kaye soon to be released with book signings in Europe. The book offers practical wi...
 
 
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
JudeLaure
01:29 PM on 10/21/2010
The what-ifs have always been the source of my fear. They are a potent distraction from moving forward. Right now, my solution to that is to just hold my breath for a bit, feel the fear they are engendering, and then jump into the pool of the moment before I can rationalize my way out of it.
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PenguinLinux
got root ?
01:37 PM on 10/01/2010
being an empath is challenging to say the least. We feel the emotions of others as we do our own. We can be emapth for the entire world; but true change begins within each of us. If we wish to change the world, we must first change our own world within first. If we each did that, change would be global beyond just own own perception of it and our own world-view.
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Bluemax1
As thoughts manifest your Universe is created.
11:40 PM on 09/29/2010
Interesting article Anne. There are people born with this gift who may have difficulties functioning due to their hypersensitivity. As a culture we need to nurture and guide those who have an abundance of compassion and understanding. The empathetic person senses what others are thinking and feeling and are easily affected by negative energy as we all can be. It helps to remain positive in thought and the empathetic person needs to understand and embrace their differences. Empathetic people tend to possess above average intelligence, intuitiveness, and have great gifts to offer humanity.
02:27 PM on 09/29/2010
We have too much fear in our society and too little empathy. Those without empathy are the first to exploit the fear.
10:10 PM on 09/28/2010
This is one of my favorite topics and why my Ph.D Dissertation was on "Physician Empathy and its impact on patient health outcomes!"

Denise Campbell, Ph.D(c), MSPH, CHES
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Judith Johnson
Author, Educator, Coach and Interfaith Minister
01:40 PM on 09/28/2010
Dear Anne,
Thanks for the shout out! This is such a wonderful article. I love the way you have brought life to the laws of spirit - showing how they actually work in our lives. I also love your statement "fear isolates, empathy connects." Amen.
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HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
MoreDimensions
06:56 PM on 09/26/2010
I appreciate the concept of empathy being a pathway to understanding and love.  I believe we all understand this to one degree or another through our life experiences but don't apply this principle in all cases which is imperative for excellence.

I also believe that empathy does create limitations if we are not careful.  A high level of empathy for oneself almost always leads to a better place.   Empathy for others often brings greater understanding and peace but it can also lead us to take on others problems if we are not careful.  What I mean by this is empathizing with a person in great pain can feel like pain within ourselves and alter our thinking patterns.  We have an obligation to protect ourselves by allowing the feelings of others to pass through us but to not take them on as our own.  This requires awareness and practice of letting go of emotions on a regular basis.  For myself, I use a regular mediation to clear my mind of these thoughts while trying to retain the lessons of the thoughts to allow for the process of understanding to reach a higher level.
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12:13 AM on 09/27/2010
By definition, there's no such thing as "empathy for oneself."
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HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
MoreDimensions
12:49 AM on 09/27/2010
Oops good point. I guess I was referring to using our consciousness to be kind to ourselves.
03:44 PM on 09/27/2010
Great advice! I am guilty of giving taking on the problems of others! I completely agree with you that it can become very taxing...however, we shouldnt let that stop us from reaching out to those who need a shoulder and some understanding. I am giong to follow your lead and start meditating :)
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HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
MoreDimensions
08:24 PM on 09/27/2010
Great to hear about the meditation, best wishes.  I like your statement about reaching out to others as we are hear to help each other. 
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HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
SShaw490
A man hears what he wants and disregards the rest
08:33 AM on 09/26/2010
Anne - This is a very enlightening piece; I'd never really made the connection between "empathy" and "truth", but when you pointed it out, the connection is obvious. In my mind, an empath is a person who has a spiritual ability to sense the true condition of another person, and has the sensitivity and openness to enter into that person's experience, whether that is joy or pain. But now I see that an empath can enter into larger experiences the same way - that they can sense the true condition of the world around them, differentiate between fear of real things and fear of ghosts that probably don't exist in the first place and, even if they did, have no inherently malevolent purpose. Maybe an empath can connect to society the way they connect to individuals.

I've written about how much I admire Jesus' ability to connect to the inner life experience of people he met, and now I see that he had social empathy as well. He could distill the truth of the social order from the social ghosts that terrify so many people.

Our perceptions of our world are heavily influenced by people who cynically profit from the creation of fear. That's a living, breathing reality. But the world only faces "such challenges as are common to man". "The world" isn't summed up by human social order, it is also the continual cataract of blessing on us. It is good to be alive, and the real world knows
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Malcolm Levene
05:08 AM on 09/26/2010
I loved this post. Thank you for remiding me about the power of emapathy. For me, empathy in action is a combination of listening, being non-judgemental and just 'being there' for someone. My greatest challenge is being able to employ empathy for me...

Your blog is very timely in more ways than one.

Love,

Malcolm
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Anne Naylor
Celebrant, Weddings and Other Blessings
10:27 AM on 09/26/2010
Hello Malcolm,

So good to see you here! Thank you for dropping by.

Empathy for oneself can be one of the greatest challenges to master, and doing so can deepen your understanding of the loving that you are, Definitely worth putting into practice.

I am so glad to know that this article is timely for you.

With love and blessings to you,
Anne
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Ed and Deb Shapiro
11:00 PM on 09/25/2010
Hi Anne - this an importnat and timely post - thank you!

Do you know someone who is skilled at offering empathy? The Dalai Lama is wonderful as his kindness and caring nature is so helpful.

How do you think empathy can assist the healing process? It is a great way to send good caring energy throughout the body and we are energy.

What are the most effective ways you know to express or receive empathy? To listen and to luv - to be present - open and compassionate.

May all people be happy

Ommmmmmmmmmmmmm
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Anne Naylor
Celebrant, Weddings and Other Blessings
10:22 AM on 09/26/2010
Hello Dearest Ed and Deb,

Your radiant joy and understanding warms my heart. Thank you so much for contributing your knowing and beauty to the discussion.

May you be abundantly blessed in every way!

With loving happiness to you,
Anne
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Eli Davidson
Award Winning Small BusinessReinvention Expert
05:52 PM on 09/25/2010
Dear and Precious Anne,
The depth of your loving and compassion always shines though.

Bless you for helping each of us take that next step to express our empathy.
"Instead of fear holding you back, you may find that fear translates into awe and inspiration. The essence of fear is love, awaiting awakening."

Much Love,
Eli
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Anne Naylor
Celebrant, Weddings and Other Blessings
10:20 AM on 09/26/2010
Dearest Eli,

Your rich gifts of enthusiasm, joy and wisdom touch me. I so appreciate how you share of your beautiful Self in so many ways.

With love, grace and delight to you,
Anne
03:39 PM on 09/25/2010
Hi Anne,

I think it helps to first accept your circumstances as they are. Your circumstances are not accidental nor coincidence. Sharing personal experience may be an effective way to relate and empathize with another in times of adversity.

To your point about fear, it helps to be aware of the silent dialogue taking place, the pattern and frequency of it as well. It’s how fear is created. With the awareness comes the ability or consciousness to turn it off. It all comes down to moving beyond your self. And leaning into the circumstances by embracing and getting to know, feel and appreciate the breath you have and what it means to have it.
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Anne Naylor
Celebrant, Weddings and Other Blessings
10:18 AM on 09/26/2010
Hello J&C,

So good to see you here again! I agree with you that our circumstances are not accidental or coincidence.

I am ever more convinced that awareness is one of the greatest gifts we can receive. Awareness has the potential of giving us fresh choices about issues in which we may feel stuck.

I love what you say here: "leaning into the circumstances by embracing and getting to know, feel and appreciate the breath you have and what it means to have it." That goes deep for me!

With love and appreciation to you,
Anne
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nikanj
free the fnords
01:46 PM on 09/25/2010
Empathy is not a 'law'.
It is an attribute.
True empaths live challenging lives,
due to their hypersensitivity.
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Anne Naylor
Celebrant, Weddings and Other Blessings
10:14 AM on 09/26/2010
Thank you, nikanj, for your wisdom, I appreciate your contribution.

With love,
Anne
10:31 AM on 09/25/2010
"Carpenteria" - I did my MA there years ago. They have earthquakes?

As for empathy, I had one of those strange messages come into my head a couple years back: "Empathy is the highest of all intelligences."

I'm afraid it cannot be taught, but is transfered through how we treat each other, most notably our children. In fact, in was in Carpinteria that I watched them try to teach it....
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Anne Naylor
Celebrant, Weddings and Other Blessings
10:12 AM on 09/26/2010
Dear drazoth

There was an earthquake when I was in Carpentaria! What a beautiful message you received about empathy. I had not seen it that way before.

One time, I asked a successful comedienne to teach me how to be funny and present comedy. She wisely told me that I would learn by seeing the funny side of life. She could not teach it as such. Perhaps the same with empathy.

I appreciate your insights!

With love and blessings,
Anne
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SocratesFan
Elitist who loves books and learning
10:23 AM on 09/25/2010
I have a question: If people only suffer in life because of their shortcomings and lack of empathy, then why do so many bad things happen to good people? Why can a working-class man work his whole life doing everything right, and yet get cheated out of money by a corrupt boss, or have his home bulldozed and destroyed by a corporation? That element is missing from you theory.
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Anne Naylor
Celebrant, Weddings and Other Blessings
10:09 AM on 09/26/2010
Hello SocratesFan

Thank you very much for your comment - and question. I am not sure the people "only suffer in life because of their shortcomings and lack of empathy". There are many causes of suffering.

From my own perspective, I can never really know or understand why bad things happen to good people. No matter who is experiencing "bad" things, each one can derive learning from them and in that way, the learning becomes a blessing.

Empathy can give us an inner route that enables a person to survive and thrive no matter the outrageous slings and arrows that shower them. Knocks can be the incentive to build our inner resources.

I appreciate your sense of caring for those who are disadvantaged.

Blessings to you,
Anne