Who You Are Makes A Difference
As we end the year, and Thanksgiving approaches this is a good time for taking stock. Who has made a difference in your life? Have you been able to make a difference in someone else's life? And who are you to be making a difference in anyone's life?
Thanksgiving is such a great holiday. As a European, I wish it were internationally celebrated. Even in difficult times we still have much we can be thankful for, especially those we love and care for, and those who make our lives better in some way.
Looking over 2009, who are the people who have made a difference to you, and how have they done that?
I started making a list, and it is still growing. On my list are friends who helped me out when I was feeling stuck. People who have made me laugh when I was taking life too seriously. One person who gave me an opportunity, out of the blue, which has made a huge difference in my quality of life. Dental surgeons who have treated me with great care. Members of my local church who have made me feel welcome. The couple who have generously created and taken care of my website. My Australian neighbour, with whom I often share a cup of tea at the end of a working afternoon.
What is special about these people? Yes, they have given their talents, their insights, time, thoughtfulness. What makes the connection for me in my memory is the caring and warmth that came from them. This quality is harder to define in words.
Who are we? We are not islands "entire unto ourselves". We do thrive from being remembered and genuinely appreciated. It is through our acts of caring that we discover the love we share. We connect.
Only connect! That was the whole of her sermon.
Only connect the prose and the passion, and both will be exalted,
and human love will be seen at its height.
Live in fragments no longer. Only connect....
E M Forster
When you are introduced to someone new, you may ask about their role - what they do. For example: teacher, consultant, doctor, journalist, corporate executive or "retired". Then there is a family role - parent, child, brother/sister etc that defines you. But who you are goes beyond what you do in the worldly sense.
We are human BEings, not human DOings. Even those who are very accomplished in their lives tend to be remembered for their human qualities, how they related with people, how they loved, and were loved by, others.
I have no doubt that my Friends on Facebook and my Followers on Twitter are really lovely people. But do I "connect" with them such that they make a lasting and meaningful impression? Not really, up until now.
When I hug dear Trixie, 91 and now 11 months old, I remember that. Older people are not hugged as much as they might like. The warmth of her smile makes that simple act very rewarding.
Beauty is not in the face;
beauty is a light in the heart.
Kahlil Gibran
So who are we? This is something of a mystery to me. There are qualities I recognize such as beauty, courage, humour, joy, enthusiasm, vibrancy, vitality, warmth, audacity. Human spirit, divine essence, soul, infinite energy come close to defining the inner Being for me.
It is in these times, when we have most need of comfort and encouragement from each other, that we may come to know better our profound selves through our acts of caring, kindness and compassion. Through these memorable acts, we may connect more deeply, and awaken more fully, to the love that we each are, and that we share. This awakening of love will I believe be instrumental in transforming many of the disorders we witness and experience around us. I believe that we are all more powerful than we ever dare to consider.
When the power of love overcome the love of power,
the world will know peace.
Jimi Hendrix
Who we each are makes a difference It just takes having the eyes to see. How many of us walk around, not knowing that we make a difference to others, or how? How many of those who have contributed to your life know the difference they have made to you? This might be a good moment to enlighten them. A Thanksgiving moment. Let us now awaken more of the love that we are.
The least movement is of importance to all nature.
The entire ocean is affected by a pebble.
Blaise Pascal
This video I found inspiring:
Who I Am Makes A Difference
Who is the person who has made the most difference to you this year? What does "connecting" mean to you? What are your favourite ways to connect with others? I would love to hear from you.
Please feel free to leave a comment below, or contact me at clearresults@mac.com
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See Ed Gurowitz, Ph.D.'s Profile
Dear Anne,
You were already there, but this post cements your place on my list of people I'm grateful to have in my life. I love your pieces here - so beautifully written, with great quotes. Each one seems to me to be a true labor of love.
Have a blessed Thanksgiving,
Ed
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Dear Ed,
Thank you so much for your kind words. Yes, each post calls upon the love in me to speak as best as I can from the heart; I hope to inspire fresh confidence and courage in those who read.
For Thanksgiving, I shall be in London and I look forward to it!
May your Thanksgiving be richly blessed.
With appreciation,
Anne
Yeshua said that everything manifests through me, through the Buddha nature is one description, that everything that happens because i am a participant. There is no one without the many and there is no many without the one, all extemes are lies, there is no stopping point, no place of separate judgement possible, there is only the mystry of nonduality, where all that is is all that is together, this is because of that, and so forth. So who i am is everything and everything is me, we are all in this Great Perfection , noone is left out and no action is left out, there is no where for anything to go, it is all right here, NOW.
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Dear Arithrianos.
A little late getting back to you but I wanted you to know that your comments are always warmly appreciated by me.
So right now, I wish you a very blessed Thanksgiving holiday and look forward to hearing more from you in the future.
With love and blessings,
Anne
Thanks! Good article
The two people who have made the most difference to me this year are the two people in my life who have died, my dad and my grandmother. Death always brings lessons and gifts, and for them I am so grateful.
Thank you for this!
Love,
Jason
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Hello Jason,
So good to see you here again and thank you very much for commenting.
I am touched and inspired by the love you have for your dad and your grandmother. I could imagine that the spirit of who they were might live on with you.
With all blessings and love to you,
Anne
HuffPost's Pick
Hello - I'm new to this and have been reading different peoples articles and comments. Your message stands out to me.
You ask the question "Who is the person who has made the most difference to you this year?" and instantly my sister came to mind. Our father is frail, and a couple of years ago I moved back to our home town to help her with his needs. I had been away for almost 30 years, am widowed, and have the time and means to lend a hand.
In the time I was away, my little sister grew to be a wise, generous and compassionate woman. Now I am learning life lessons watching her. She has held the family together (as well as her own) since our mothers passing. She's my hero.
Thank you for the article, and the many quotations so full of meaning (and others thoughtful comments). How do I "bookmark" you so I can find your articles in future?
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Dear RDH1-32,
What a beautiful comment - thank you for your contribution. I am so happy for you that you have found the richness of your sister in this way. Your description is very touching to me.
My articles appear on Saturdays. You can click on Become A Fan at the top of this article to hear about the next ones. You can also click on my Bio at the top to access articles I have written in the past.
With love and gratitude,
Anne
This is a beautiful post. I have been thinking about this topic for some time now, and this post has made me think deeper. The concept of my identity. There are a lot of people who have contributed to where I am today. Some of them are no more alive, but I will do what I can to thank those who are.
I read a similar post today and liked it and thought I will share it with you too. http://www.pathofliving.com/2009_11_14.html
Thanks again for a very thoughtful post.
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Dear rob25,
Thank you for your contribution.
When we look deeply into who we are, we can only be delighted! And when we can connect with others from that place, then I think life becomes very sweet.
With love and blessings to you,
Anne
HuffPost's Pick
Beautiful post, Anne. I love the human BEings vs human DOings idea. I have found in my own life that actually my intention of how I AM throughout my days is far more important than what I actually DO in those days. Sometimes the simple act of reading and feeling a mantra such as "Today, I love" each morning does more to cultivate compassion and care than a planned action.
Something I have noticed is that, when it comes to gratitude, the world really IS a reflection of ourselves. If I find that I have some grumbles (= the anti-gratitude) about someone, it typically is because I myself haven't been someone worthy of gratitude in that relationship. Bringing love and compassion to the relationship fixes it 9 times out of 10... and I am ready to be grateful about that person again.
I wrote a related blog post a few months ago:
http://frameshiftcoaching.wordpress.com/2009/09/22/we-are-our-entourage/
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Dear Samantha,
Thank you very much for your comment and wise words about gratitude. I had not seen it quite that way before. I love the way you cultivate compassion.
With love and appreciation,
Anne
HuffPost's Pick
To connect with people is to built a positive affinity.
When the mind is idle and restless gather and focus on a simple wish;
A Prayer on Lovingkindness
May all beings be well and happy.
May they be free from suffering.
May they free from hatred, greed and delusion.
May they be free from calamity and emities,
May they be peace and lovingkindness in their in their heart.
You can rephrase and elaborate on those words anyway you want but it must come from you and from the goodness in your heart.
You can chant it, meditate on it or use it as a prayer whichever way it will work.
In real life application, in situations for eaxmple where you need to meet angry customers, apply those words from your heart towards that person before meeting and you will find it work wonders.
When you are alone and is fearful just chant them in your heart and radiate the loving kindness out.
This is the most applicable practice I often used in my working experience.
Don't forget to wish the people you love both alive and departed. Yuor enemies too.
This gift is my connection to all those who read this comment.
.
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Dear Khanti,
What a heart-warming contribution - thank you! I love what you have written here. I hope that many will receive your gift and pass it forward.
With love and blessings to you,
Anne
I take issue with the title of this piece. I've been reading about ancient rome and lots of people died for no reason at all. Who you are doesn't actually matter because you could have just as easily been lion bait instead of a self-entitled internet whiner.
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Dear Dice Klay
Thank you for commenting. What title would you prefer? I am on a learning curve with titles.
To this day, people are dying in many parts of the world "for no reason at all". To those who care about you, you will always matter.
With warmest good wishes to you,
Anne
HuffPost's Pick
Another lovely post Anne Naylor, and so timely too.
This connecting business is fascinating. The most important person I've connected with is myself. I'm discovering someone new. When I touch my hand or some other body part it's a discovery - the most incredible piece of living sculpture I have ever seen.
The person who has made the most difference to me this year is my mother since my "evolutionary process" ramped up a notch. Ignorant, selfish, petty, small minded and abusive (as a child) and incredibly manipulative. Yet I cannot thank her enough, and I've told her this. If she hadn't treated me as she had, I would never have evolved as I have. I have forgiven her and accepted myself, and I offer gratitude for her every single day. She's the best mother I could ever have had!
For me connecting means being open and aware. My eyes and other senses observe and the observer makes the connection. That's why I blog, to share my thoughts and observations - I have to write although words are sometimes inadequate.
I send people blessings from my heart in the street - I like to maintain my physical distance - and I chat up in particular the old ladies in the neighbourhood because I they feel lonely and neglected. They also have interesting life stories too.
Thank you for this post. It's making me think some more.
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Dear LifeChangeStartsNow,
What a beautiful comment - thank you so much for sharing yourself in this way. I am thrilled for your journey of discovery. Congratulations on coming to such peace with who you are and what your life is offering to you.
I love that you have so much gratitude for your mother - and the older ladies in your community. What a sweet gift you are! I spent yesterday afternoon with Trixie and she has wonderful stories and perceptions about life.
Continue well with your inspiring journey!
With love and blessings,
Anne
your journey is so touching. i look at your face in your icon and see hope, wonder, beauty, love, compassion, your level of honesty, forgivness and awareness is humbleing and inspiring. thank you.
hugs,
p
WOW Pema, I am so touched by your comment. Thank you. All I can do is be me now. I have no choice whatsoever.
Have a fantastic day!
Dear Anne,
Your gentle heart and loving messages have made a difference for me this year. Thank you for being who you are, a constant presence of peace and calm, a safe haven in the midst of life's crazy storms. Your words and the message they convey are a salve to the hurried heart and I always feel better after reading your posts.
With gratitude for you,
Judith
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Hello Dearest Judith,
As always, it is very good to see you here. I appreciate very much your kind words. What I am aiming to do is inspire fresh hope and confidence in challenging times. Of course, what I write for others I have first to receive for myself.
I am very happy to know that you feel better for reading my posts. Thank you for being You.
With love,
Anne
See Kari Henley's Profile
Dear Anne-
Lovely article, and just in time to start thinking of the people we are thankful for. This is your 50th consecutive week of writing- and we are ALL thankful for that!
Few have the gentle insight and compassion you do, and to bring it forward each week is truly a treat for those who follow your work.
Enjoy your holiday- and maybe every country should have some sort of Thanskgiving!
Kari
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Dear Kari,
So good to see you here! Thank you very much for your kind words. Oh yes, I think every country would be fortunate to have some sort of Thanksgiving.
It is such a treat for me to be writing these posts - it is amazing how fast a year has gone by!
Happy Sunday to you.
With love,
Anne
See Julia Moulden's Profile
Thanks for this post, Anne. I wanted to share something I've started to do at Thanksgiving -- sending people messages that say simply, "I give thanks for having met you." A beau once said it to me with deep feeling, and it thrilled me to my core. We need to hear it!
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Dear Julia,
What a beautiful message to share. I so agree with you. We do need to hear those thanks for having met. Thank you for your gift!
With love and blessings to you,
Anne
love is a verb...
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Hello Pema,
Thank you for the reminder! Love has so many meanings in the English language.
With love,
Anne
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