In this week's episode of The Hills we finally get to see the extent of the Heidi brainwashing, and make no mistakes, that girl is severely delusional. She refers to her husband as "fun crazy," brings crystals to night clubs, and claims she made a pair of shorts (I don't care if that girl had a fashion line with her name on it, I'm pretty sure her massive breasts would prohibit her from doing much of anything -- I mean, she can barely walk without looking like she's going to teeter and fall at any moment). Speaking of "fun crazy" -- Spencer is anything but fun -- and he essentially admits it, declaring "you don't know how dangerous I am" in a nightclub.
These people have absolutely no grasp on what is and isn't appropriate in a nightclub: getting hammered? Sure. Talking about crystal protection for a war zone? Unless that nightclub is Afghanistan, inappropriate! Which also begs the question -- how do they bring those crystals around with them? Last time I checked rocks are kind of heavy (and along those lines, what's heavier, one of those crystals or one of Heidi's fake boobs? I mean seriously, those things are massive).
This episode, like this season premiere, had its share of heavy moments, most notably when Audrina, Lo, and Kristin sat down with Speidi sisters Holly and Stephanie to discuss the problem. This scene was actually quite moving, especially after everyone agreed to cut Speidi from their lives and Holly cried that no family or friends should have to go through this sort of ordeal. It was a rare moment of truth on the show, where these girls seemed to be genuine friends. Alas, I still can't help but wonder how much of that was manufactured, especially because girls do not look that pretty when they cry. (This makes me nostalgic for the first season, when Lauren Conrad would cry and the mascara would stream down her face and I'd think "Me too, Lauren. Me too.")
It was refreshing to see the people around the Heidi-Spencer drama in agreement regarding the extreme nature of this duo - and to see them acknowledge that Heidi is not simply the victim here -- she's playing that role in an effort to hide behind her crazy husband. When Spencer shared the news that he prevented Heidi from going on the internet, permitting her only to read and write poetry, as she has "logged out of the matrix," rather than hone in on the continuing crazy (Spencer: The Matrix was a movie), all I wanted to know was if there was a way we can get our hands on some of that poetry. I mean, the other girls said it - Heidi is dead behind her eyes (and if Audrina says this, then that's saying something folks), so I'm guessing her poetic prowess is lacking - and you better believe I want to read that crap.
On the Kristin-Brody hookup: cute, but bound for disaster. More importantly, Stephanie Pratt has her own spray-tan machine? This explains so much.