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Annmarie Kelly-Harbaugh

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Help! Will I Ever Read a Book Again?

Posted: 01/12/12 09:48 AM ET

The short answer is No.

At least that's what it will feel like. You will examine warning labels on baby Tylenol. You will peruse pediatric websites at 2 am seeking guidance on teething, green poop, or how to get your baby to leave you alone. You will discover notes to yourself that you do not remember writing. You will read the expression on your partner's face that tells you s/he is in the mood for love. S/he will read the expression on your face indicating you are in the mood for cereal. But will you read books? No, probably not.

It is normal that a sensitive, educated parent might miss reading. So, what follows is a 5-step program for reclaiming The Book.

Step 1: Chaucer Coasters, Watch Television and Nap
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Believe it or not, TV and sleep are necessary pursuits if you ever want to read again. As a new parent, I was wonked out. Despite plans to "revisit the classics" during my maternity leave, whenever I touched a book, I promptly fell asleep. Pick up a book if you must, but then set it down and put a cold drink on it. Books make good coasters. Sip your beverage and catch up with Real Housewives. Check in on The Deadliest Catch. Watch a vacuum cleaner infomercial at 3 am, just to say you have. Slum some with basic cable. When I wasn't napping, Sex in the City reruns and Ice Road Truckers massaged my brain where literary information had previously been stored. Television helped me hit rock bottom. It is said alcoholics bottom out before seeking help. New parents need to do the same. I once watched eleven cooking shows back-to-back, leaving the couch only to change the baby and toast Pop-tarts. TV saturation gave me the drive to read again.

 
The short answer is No. At least that's what it will feel like. You will examine warning labels on baby Tylenol. You will peruse pediatric websites at 2 am seeking guidance on teething, green po...
The short answer is No. At least that's what it will feel like. You will examine warning labels on baby Tylenol. You will peruse pediatric websites at 2 am seeking guidance on teething, green po...
 
 
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Chockolate
Four swirling square pegs in a round hole.
11:51 PM on 01/17/2012
I'm trying to read Brave New World at the moment, but it sends me to sleep after half a page. Hopefully something actually happens soon.
11:43 AM on 01/13/2012
Being a full-time mother is one of the highest salaried jobs in my field, since the payment is pure love.
nice blog!
hope that you can also check my sites, cause we do have the same topics.....

http://doubleyourdaddyduties.com/
http://whatsyoexcuse.com
feel free to check it out!

thanks
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sabelmouse
i love to tumble , ask me why .
09:03 AM on 01/13/2012
i actually read quite a bit while breastfeeding. not the first few weeks but later.
07:32 PM on 01/12/2012
Off course you'll read again! Don't listen to those HuffPost Dudes -:)
After hours upon wonderful hours of reading books to the dudes (Now 14, 16), years of bedtime stories, and cuddling, they now recommend books they love, and they think I would too (Patrick Rothfuss, The Name of the Wind--awesome!). And I have time to read my own books while they read theirs. Put in the time now, enjoy it, it pays off.
The Dudes' Dad
06:27 PM on 01/12/2012
I used to think I'll never read again, but now as the dudes are 14 & 16, they recommend me books that they like, and I love it too (Patrick Rothfuss, The Name of the Wind, great stuff) and all those wonderful hours and hours of reading books to them as little kids pay off. You will read again, don't let those HuffPost people tell you otherwise -:)
The Dudes' Dad