After leaving the Marine Corps in 2004, I was emotionally wounded and physically broken from multiple injuries. Diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder and depression, I didn't think I had anything left in me. Practicing and teaching yoga to veterans helped save my life.
After fighting conventional pill-popping treatments, I felt that I had nothing to lose by trying things my own way. When I hit rock bottom, I threw myself into a yoga teacher training program. I had not imagined that my combination of injuries, emotional pain and hardheadedness would be such a challenge. Yoga taught me many new things about myself. It turned out that in order to move beyond my pain, I had to change old habits that had been deeply ingrained by military service.
Multiple knee and shoulder injuries meant I simply could not do things normal people could. I could no longer muscle my way forward, come hell or high water, because my body simply wouldn't allow it. In being denied the physical control I had been so used to as a Marine, other softer sides of me exposed themselves. The vulnerable parts that the Marine Corps did its best to squeeze out of me were the parts I least wanted to explore -- the parts that were preventing me from healing.
I remember sitting bolt upright and storming out of a class while doing a guided relaxation in savasana, the restful pose that normally ends a traditional yoga class. My mind simply could not tolerate lying down and being still. It felt like someone was suffocating me, while anxiety, fear and chaos swirled around in my head. On another day, my back pain was so excruciating that I could not sit up. I had to learn to meditate lying down.
Being forced to let go of the Marine way of doing things was a humbling experience, and one that I fought every step of the way. Before yoga, sitting still or enjoying a quiet moment was my idea of torture. Physical movement was my way of processing stress. As a Marine, if I saw a mountain, I had to run to the top. Objects were meant to be lifted, and open space was meant to be conquered, and fast.
Now, yoga can literally make me feel blissful. I smile more, I allow myself to have fun, and I walk taller. Three years ago, I started teaching yoga to veterans. I started a free yoga class for veterans because I wanted to reconnect on healthier terms with a community I felt like I'd been torn away from. I wanted to give back and help others with the alienating and painful process of recovering from experiences no one at home could understand.
It's a special class. There is no pretense or attempt to impress. You'll find raggedy sweatpants, old t-shirts, and the occasional high and tight haircut. There's a sense of solidarity and level of comfort and familiarity in the room.
Some of my most endearing students are the ones who have faced mind-blowing challenges from military service; some have faced near death in war; some have lost limbs; many have lost friends overseas or spouses back home; some are recovering from substance abuse; some were traumatized under Don't Ask, Don't Tell.
Regular students introduce themselves to newcomers and help them set up their mats and props. Many students end up chatting after class -- about VA appointments, new discoveries they've made about treating a variety of health conditions, the challenges of school, employment, or family tragedies.
Despite this feeling of community, the class is distinctly non-military. I don't encourage competition, even with oneself. In fact, it's precisely because veterans have learned to fight so hard against everything that I try to encourage an environment where veterans can allow themselves not to fight so hard against themselves.
Many students are surprised to find that muscling into poses does not, in fact, make the poses any easier to do. Balancing poses are the most surprising for many newcomers. The hard work of adjusting an attitude towards a physical posture, or easing one's body into it, instead of forcing, can lead to small epiphanies.
Learning yoga as a trauma survivor is often times especially grueling. Yoga can cause those emotions and memories we bury and control in order to survive to resurface. One returning Iraq veteran quietly asked me after class why his emotions were rising up while he was doing a restorative pose that allows the chest and hips to relax. Many other students are challenged by poses in which their bodies are particularly vulnerable, especially in a group setting. During a guided deep relaxation, another veteran simply could not relax because the sound of the ceiling fan reminded him of the helicopters that had rescued him after a firefight in Vietnam.
For veterans who simply long for a moment's peace of mind, the less physical aspects of yoga can be a saving grace. In class, we combine physical poses with a combination of breathing techniques and meditation. This way, veterans can begin to get some relief from the practice of quieting their thoughts and deepening their breath, even if they can't yet find their way comfortably around some of the physical poses.
Finding calm in the midst of mental chaos -- experiencing peace of mind without fighting and forcing one's will upon a situation -- was and still is my biggest challenge, and ultimately it has helped me with my teaching.
My favorite part of the week is the feeling I get at the end of teaching a class of veterans, when I watch students leave the classroom looking rested, hopeful and 10 years younger.
Dennis Palumbo: World, Affectivity, Trauma: A Book Review
Sarah Plummer
http://sempersarahp.blogspot.com/2011/08/semper-stretch-space-for-perspective.html
http://sempersarahp.blogspot.com/2011/08/semper-stretch-space-for-perspective_26.html
As a U.S. Marine involved in unfriendly environments, aggression and hostility became ingrained into my thought process; It was a requirement for my survival. Unfortunately for me and those close to me, at the completion of my military service, the aggressive behavior lingered, in a form similar to post traumatic disorder. It was not until I participated in an Inner Engin eering Program that I gained an indescribable sense of relief. I feel I became more content and joyous towards life in general; currently I am much happier on a daily basis and truly believe it has saved my life. Peace, S. S.
I am vet as well and felt that practicing yoga really changed my life and helped me deal with the issues I was facing because of my military service. Thanks to Brent Martin in Savannah, GA for leading me on the journey and thank you Anu for sharing this.
I, too have PTSD but for different reasons and I found yoga did more for me in a shorter amount of time than any therapist or program did.
I hope one day to teach meditation to people with PTSD. It's great to know people are finding relief from their suffering in such a healthy and positive way.
Sergio
http://yogatrainingguide.com
Please also disregard what might seem like a shameless plug for this retreat. It is the content of information in the description that I wish to share. Experiences of suffering truly become encoded in our body and generate our perceived experience of life. Talk and understanding can not be but a first step to relieve these patterns. We must access the energy on a deeper level to effect real change. This is also explained in the article, "Why Psycotherapy Doesn't Work", which can be read here: http://bit.ly/fTtfg2.
I hope this information is useful for you. I am glad to see the truly powerful healing effects of yoga being documented in this forum.
Sincerely,
Yogi
Energy of Mind: A Sauhu Therapy
www.energyofmindtherapy.com
http://www.avacawisdominstitute.com/AVACA-Veterans-Assistance-Program.html
I'm so very sorry, Not Amused, that you've had such horrific wartime experiences. But yoga therapy is obviously helping many many of your sister and brother vets and my suspicion is that many of them use it in conjunction with their meds. No shame in that. Embrace the healing wherever it can be found.
Peace
Yoga is truly one of those activities good for every body. For me, it is both relaxing and challenging, and eases my low back pain through the deep hip, back & side stretches. What's more is there is peace in the practice for body, mind and spirit: the human trifecta. Each hour on the mat is sacred. It is time for me. I can just be. And feel. And breathe. And try in my modest way to allow the poses to gently express themselves through me. And take in the wonderful collective energy filling the room from others on the mat & myself.
Regardless of what others may think of yoga, I love it. It is a wonderful tool, encouraging balance, calm and strength where it counts. Others do not know or understand what they are missing by maintaining such narrow points of view. I wish them well in their journey.
Best of luck on your work and venture among the vets. They are a group very much deserving of special attention and care. Namaste!
I see Yoga as bringing one into the same room as one's own flesh. We're generally not encouraged to study our physical being except to train it's obedience like a horse or an ox. Yoga (meaning yoke or union) brings thousands of years of study of our consciousness within our flesh. Yoga's not just physical poses. It's a path to truly becoming yoked with our better nature, the divine, if you prefer. The devil's work? Jesus taught: "Find god within." Within what? Within the flesh we wear to experience the wonders of creation. If there's a devil's influence, it's in destroying that connection, not strengthening it. Many believe Jesus spent part of the 18 years between age 12 and 30 in India and Tibet learning from the Yogis. Don't know. But to deny one's self the benefits of Yoga due to religious dogma is, in my opinion, a tragically childish and limiting viewpoint.
www.ynyogaposes.com
The many benefits of yoga continue to unfold! What a shame that many radicals who call themselves Christians believe that yoga is the work of the devil.
I wish some people would just be honest and say I consider anything I don't want to think about or do evil. It's a great excuse to not progress as a spiritual being.
Maybe these Christians should start thinking that war is the work of the devil and anything to repair a Soldier's spirit is the work of God. But maybe that would be too easy and excepting for some. And that is the true crime here.
I feel anything that helps heal a spiritual wound is the work of God and what this woman is doing is truly God's work!!!