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The Second Secret of Change

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Principle 2: The Change Guarantee: From this situation something good will come. (Write this down somewhere visible!)

People who successfully navigate change know that change always brings something positive into their lives. Every change has something good associated with it eventually. Often the reason why something is happening is not clear, and it's certainly not immediate. Sometimes it might take years for you to look back and know "I now see why this happened the way it did."

When change happens, the first word out of our mouths is "WHY?" Why did this happen to me? Why did I lose the deal, not get the promotion, not get the job, get dumped, lose the money? If you're in the why mode, consider asking a different question. What for? What could be good about this? What could I go ahead and do differently now? What opportunity is now available to me? How can I make this worth something? What am I really learning from all this? The quicker you answer these questions, the quicker your situation will turnaround. People who are good at change do not earn an Oscar in the self pity/poor me/victim/blame category.

Believe me, I've asked people who've lost loved ones, seen their businesses go bankrupt and their health be threatened and I have always gotten them to answer--what good came from this?
Here's where it gets interesting. Most people think life is against them, trying to piss them off, that they are unlucky, that things don't work out for them. Einstein said that "the most important decision we will ever make in our lives is whether we believe we live in a friendly or an unfriendly universe." If you want to get good at change, you must believe life is your partner, on your side, conspiring for greater good stuff coming into your life, despite the apparent immediate loss it might seem to be. Change isn't there to hurt, anger or annoy you. It's there to bring new things to you, new people, jobs and opportunities. Always. "Hidden in any misfortune is good fortune" (Tao Te Ching).

The mindset of folks who are good at change is one of Abundance. There are more jobs, more money, more intimate partners, more deals. You can immediately tell if someone lives in scarcity or abundance. Which one are you? What about the people around you who work with you?

Endings always yield new beginnings. When you get good at change, you become an expert in letting go, in not clinging, in not controlling things as they unfold. In the middle of change, become comfortable with the temporary in-between period. Rushing to fill the void with the first job, relationship or deal that shows up doesn't yield success. There is no rush, despite how you feel. Those who can delay instant solutions and gratification are always rewarded.

Here's one last thing to think about. The core of who you are comes from new experiences. Not from keeping everything together perfectly. The very best of you shows up during times of change and what you allow change to teach you and give you next.

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