This week, Meg Whitman, running for governor of California, broke the record for personal spending on a campaign -- so far, she's donated to herself $119 million. I wonder if she regrets not using the Buy It Now option on eBay -- she probably could have gotten her campaign for a lot less. In Delaware, Christine O'Donnell's upset victory was a big boost to the Tea Party movement, Sarah Palin's clout as an endorser, and comedy writers everywhere. Karl Rove wasn't happy, so O'Donnell has to be doing something right. But, with all the problems we're facing, I'm not sure masturbation is as big an issue for most Americans as it seems to be for O'Donnell. And with unemployment so high, there are a lot of people sitting at home with time on their hands, looking for no-cost entertainment. Budget hawks rejoice: self-pleasure is deficit neutral.