Next week, Adam and Kris duke it out to see who will be the next American Idol. This week, Republicans duked it out to see who would be the next American Idiot. Sen. Jeff Sessions argued for keeping Guantanamo open by pointing to the "tropical breezes blowing through" the prison. Rep. Pete Sessions claimed President Obama is intentionally driving up unemployment and diminishing stock prices to "inflict damage and hardship on the free enterprise system." And Kim Hendren, a Republican Senate candidate from Arkansas, referred to Chuck Schumer at a campaign event as "that Jew," then dug himself deeper: "I was attempting to explain that unlike Sen. Schumer, I believe in traditional values, like we used to see on The Andy Griffith Show." I guessed he missed the episode about Goober's bar mitzvah. The Grand Oy Party.
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