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My Interview With Susan Cain On The Power Of Introverts

Posted: 04/ 8/2012 12:45 pm

I loved my conversation with Susan Cain in our New York studios. Her book Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking taps into our growing need for unplugging and recharging -- big themes of our Healthy Living section. The book has been on the New York Times' bestseller list since January, and Susan's TED Talk, "The Power of Introverts," has been watched more than 1.7 million times. Here is the video of our interview. Let us know what your favorite ways are to find quiet in your life.


Add your voice to the conversation on Twitter: twitter.com/ariannahuff.

 
 
 
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11:54 AM on 04/11/2012
In response to your comment that "introverts" are too preachy...Myers Briggs explains introvert and extrovert a little differently. Although the two personality preferences may exhibit the characteristics which often accompany their personality, often they do not (as Lisa commented.) The difference in introverts and extraverts is where they go to get energy.The extravert is oriented to the outside world and the introvert is oriented to the inner world. When they make decisions, extraverts talk as they process and introvert's best ideas come after they think about them for a while. Sadly, often extraverts perceive this as introverts withholding information or not participating when in fact they are processing internally. Both personalities are needed as introverts tend to be deeper thinkers.We, as introverts, often assume things about introverts and do not set up a process to fully utilize each other. One way is to make sure the agenda to a meeting is given out a few days before a meeting to allow the introverts time to "percolate!" I, am a strong extravert, and just had to learn how to best utilize my introverted counterparts!
08:15 AM on 04/10/2012
Hello i am Glenn Verdult

I enjoy reading your articles

I am looking forward to read more..
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04:25 AM on 04/10/2012
I didn't mean to post twice... thought the first one disappeared.
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02:39 AM on 04/10/2012
I'm not convinced that introverts necessarily find social media more comfortable than face-to-face interaction. See Diana Senechal's piece on this matter (it links to this interview, though it isn't about introversion per se).

http://open.salon.com/blog/dianasenechal/2012/04/08/twitter_and_loss_of_solitude

This all feeds a hunch that introverts differ widely from each other, as do extroverts.
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02:27 AM on 04/10/2012
Not sure introverts necessarily find social media more comfortable than face-to-face interaction. See Diana Senechal's piece in this point (it isn't about introverts per se but does link to this interview).

http://open.salon.com/blog/dianasenechal/2012/04/08/twitter_and_loss_of_solitude

To me, there's a distinction between introversion and extroversioni but great variety within each group. So you can't say for sure that introverts dislike parties and open-space work plans or that extroverts always need to talk things out.
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11:55 PM on 04/09/2012
Excellent book. I started reading it last month and it's eye-opening. No hurry to finish it, every chapter has its own meaning. LOTS of notes in the back, good index, Very helpful.
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RhiannonRings
Childfree and loving it!
11:53 PM on 04/09/2012
I'm an introvert and an HSP (Highly Sensitive Person), see Elaine Aron's writings too. Ear plugs are one of my best friends :)
04:51 PM on 04/09/2012
I've always been a proud introvert....I get my energy from being by myself.
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InedaName
Clowns to the Left of me. Jokers to the Right.
06:46 PM on 04/09/2012
Me too!
01:14 AM on 04/10/2012
Me three! (silly Three Stooges reference)

I learned (don't recall the source) that introverts recharge by being alone. Extroverts recharge by being with others. I am soooo introverted.
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geddy lee is a god
New playlist: Cesaria Evora, B-52s, and Jeff Beck
11:31 AM on 04/09/2012
"being an introvert is a major asset, not a liability - extroverts are often heading for trouble"

This is one of the problems I tend to have with "introverts"...they are too preachy. There is nothing wrong with enjoying your life and having fun with friends and family. Being an extrovert isn't all about partying. I can laugh with my friends by doing something as simple as moving furniture while listening to music. I enjoy being around a diverse group of people. How exactly is that "heading for trouble"?

Extroverts know how to have quiet moments. With me, it's going to a used bookstore, reading on a ferry/train, or exercising/taking in all of this natural beauty that surrounds me. People like me know when to turn up the personality, and we also know when to tone it down. I just annoys me that some introverts think we're just mindless robots who constantly need *action*. Nothing could be further from the truth.
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Amadahy
loves peanut M&Ms and Whippoorwills
03:48 PM on 04/09/2012
You're right to point out this sentence. I think there can be problems or solutiond brought on by all types of people depending...

You're obviously proud of the type of person you are. That's great.

At the same time, as an introvert who has needed to act like an extrovert in order to remain employed, surely you have seen the negative light in which introverts are often shown. The preaching has always been on the other foot.
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geddy lee is a god
New playlist: Cesaria Evora, B-52s, and Jeff Beck
10:48 AM on 04/10/2012
Extroverts aren't exactly put on pedestals either. I've seen the stereotypes: we're loud, always in need of company, don't appreciate people who don't think like us, etc etc. So both sides have legitimate grievances against each other.

The problem I see (and I'm strictly going by personal experience here) is that introverts generally don't give non-intros a chance, whereas extroverts are open to accepting anyone in their inner circle. And it's not about "trying to change" people; we just like to expose people to some of the things we experience/see/hear. Of course, introverts have the absolute right to reject any part of a social or professional setting, but don't castigate those of us who are open to being a part of those circles.

Extros and intros both have value. It would be boring if everyone acted the same. The critical question is how can both sides work together without each group (1) losing their personal identities and (2) disrespecting each other's POV?

To be honest, I don't care for the extro/intro titles. I think they divide people and cause an us -vs- them mentality. Lord knows we have enough of that already. I don't give personality tests before extending friendship (personal or professional) to anyone. If you're cool with me, then you're cool with me. If not, then keep it moving *shrugs*.
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InedaName
Clowns to the Left of me. Jokers to the Right.
06:50 PM on 04/09/2012
You're unlike most extroverts I know (and most of the people I know are extroverts) who do constantly need action.

But I really wanted to comment on your micro-bio. I'm a bass lover myself and I'd put the late, great Mick Karn at the top of the Bass Gods list. I was gutted when he passed away last year.
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geddy lee is a god
New playlist: Cesaria Evora, B-52s, and Jeff Beck
11:20 AM on 04/10/2012
Extroverts are not a monolithic group. We have those in our ranks who have to be *on* all the time. We also have those who know how to have a good time at a concert on a Saturday, but can bring it down a notch and have lunch with friends on a Sunday.

Every concert roadtrip I plan includes a mixture of high and low-octane pre and post concert activities. We're not robots; we're human, we like to socialize (in our own way), and we have a variety of interests.

Yes, Mick Karn was indeed a Bass God. I couldn't believe it when I got the tweet re: his death. I always had my fingers crossed that he would collaborate with a band like The Virgin Prunes or something, or any artist that is known for performance art.

I love bassists...their sound, their swag, the grooves, their style. Everytime I order concert tix from Ticketmaster or Stubhub, I pull up the seating chart and immediately start looking at the section on the bass player's side. Do you play bass, like a weekend band sort of thing?
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dawlishgal
09:06 AM on 04/09/2012
The vocabulary for talking about "shyness" is not very good. I realized this when I worked on a study of mental illness in children, one that included a wide range of children in public schools. It was hard to differentiate (in terms of later mental illness) between children who were shy in a benign way from those who were shy in an aggressive way if the category was being described as "shy".. Without some defining behavioral descriptions, the concept was useless.

When one of my sons was 6, the principal called me in and said that he wasn't participating on the playground games....he descibed him as "a feet-planted observer." And he wanted me to urge him into games. I questioned my son to find out if he were being excluded, but that didn't seem to be the case. He WANTED to observe, and his observations made the other kids laugh. His friends were always coming to our house to play and he got his share of invites to birthday parties. I called a the mothers of a few of his friends, and all said that he was a delightful child, a generous one. My conclusion was that it was a big fuss over nothing.

In my work, the "shy" kids who had bad adult outcomes were the ones who seemed to be in a shell, and who would attack anybody who tried to penetrate that shell. We need another word to describe that particular personality.
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Amadahy
loves peanut M&Ms and Whippoorwills
03:41 PM on 04/09/2012
Thanks for sharing your story. I totally agree.

I've always taken shyness to be a reticence to interact with others based on fear. In the case of introverts and your son, there is no fear. It's imo complete openness and even interaction, but in a different setting.
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David Campbell
08:45 AM on 04/09/2012
As an introvert, I celebrate hours and whole days with no human interaction whatsoever the only way to clear my mind to think clearly. We now live in a society filled with noise, insipid conversations and most concerned with themselves and their personal lives.Texting avoids personal contact and incessant music/entertainment blots out thinking. We now have generations that are essentially entertainment freaks.
Koiquoe
Have an unyielding faith in yourself
07:30 AM on 04/09/2012
Midway through this interview, I purchased Susan Cain's book, Quiet. And all I can say is I should have known this all my life. It gave me a license to be what I am and not what society thinks I should be like. I cannot wait for her next book, whatever topic it may be. She is just an exquisite writer.
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Amadahy
loves peanut M&Ms and Whippoorwills
06:45 AM on 04/09/2012
I've been touched by this new recognition of we introverts. I genuinely hope it starts a new way of thinking in this land.

For creating space and turning down the tempo, I wholeheartedly recommend ambient music. Start with Vidna Obmana's River of Appearance.
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AllanHunkin
Create Elegant Solutions
06:00 AM on 04/09/2012
I used to define myself as a card carrying extrovert. Working from morning to night, multitasking doesn't begin to categorize what I thought you had to do to be successful. Farmer, Real Estate Salesman, Flight School owner, Manufacturer, Airshow Demo Pilot, Writer, professional speaker, over 800 radio shows... I always had to be out and at the center of things.

This seems to work well for others. It didn't work very well for me. My life consisted of a lot of activity but not really much true accomplishment.

Then I got sick and the Universe made it loud and clear that it wasn't going to let Hunkin go, go go any more like the Energizer Bunny on steroids.

Last year I bought an older motor coach and have been giving it a lot of love, fixing it up with thoughts of launching a book and going on a nation wide speaking tour.

After never being far from the center of attention for most of my life I find that I can go for a whole week without talking to anyone other than the lady down the street at the grocery store. For almost a year I have been mostly with only my own thoughts.

It's amazing how much of a book you can write while you're upside down under a sink fixing the plumbing.
lastpost
see biography
05:27 AM on 04/09/2012
“in a World That Can't Stop Talking”
questions that render a prolix person dumb, are king.

“find quiet in your life”
by taking a walk in the park. Then if walking, thinking, and chewing gum prove too enervating a compendium of endeavours. Sit down, and dispense with the gum.

“First half, second half.”
Life is not a game of two halves. Wait not for the fulltime whistle. But, at the sound of each paradox change ends.

“Conviction is the answer to everything.”
Correction: Conviction is, mistaken at the full extent of one’s lungs.

“Mathematicians are a vehi(cle?)…”
Blood sugar is an indispensable fuel for powering mental matriculation.

“Truth resonates”
Because its testable resemblance to reality strikes a chord.
12:19 AM on 04/10/2012
There upon hate will wait, to claim it's time of fame.
For these are the ones, that have not found theirselves.
But breath of your life as fortune and fame.
Truth resonates as others look away.
But a game ensues, as comical waste puts them in place.
An introverts bothered time, but an extroverts rhyme.