6 Ways to Find Inner Peace No Matter What

Life is full of situations that we deem "wonderful": weddings, new babies, pay raises, promotions, and vacations. It's so easy to feel happy and content when these wonderful events occur in our lives.

But life is equally full of "terrible" situations: getting fired, having cancer or a serious illness, death, dying, grief, financial strain, violent crimes and car accidents. It's typically very hard to be calm and serene when faced with such challenges.

However, peace of mind is largely a matter of attention. If we keep the flashlight of our attention on our negative circumstances, if we constantly attend to the "gloom and doom" voices in our heads, then we will surely be overcome by stress.

My husband recently had surgery to remove a cancerous lesion in his colon. Now he is facing six months of chemotherapy. It would be all too easy for me to stay focused on the fear, the medical bills, the sickness, the side effects, the uninvited changes, the "life interrupted" overwhelm. But I know that doing so will only increase my suffering.

Even having recently written a book about inner peace, my current circumstances have challenged me to be very intentional about how I focus my attention. Below are six specific attention practices that create a peacefulness through my days, regardless of my circumstances.

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• 1. Sound

  When I start to feel overwhelmed, I simply close my eyes and listen to the details and quality of the sounds around me. Sometimes I am treated to birdsong, wind blowing, and insects chirping. Other times I hear teenagers chatting, cats meowing, and dishes clinking. Sometimes I can listen to the sound of silence that exists in the space between sounds. Whatever I hear, by focusing my attention on sound, I give my mind a break from its incessant stream of thinking.

• 2. Compassion

  When I connect with the human condition, and all those who suffer, I know that I am not alone. I send positive energy to others who are in chemo, to other spouses and caregivers, to people who suffer from grief, depression, addiction, anxiety, fear, and uncertainty. I think of those who have walked the earth before me and those who will walk when I am gone. By opening my heart to other beings with <a href="http://www.positivecalm.com/the-power-of-compassion/" target="_hplink">compassion</a>, I feel calmer and more supported.

• 3. Visualization

  There is a small, special island 10 miles off the coast of New Hampshire called Star Island. I have been going there for summer retreats for the past 12 years, and it is still one of my favorite places on this earth. When I feel most upset, I close my eyes and imagine myself there. I can summon smells, sounds, and visuals that instantly uplift my mood and offer me a refreshing perspective.

• 4. Affirmations

  Repeating "anchor" words or phrases, such as "peace like a river," or "everything is as it should be," or "I am strong; I am calm" help redirect the mind to more peaceful and positive thoughts. Find an affirmation that feels right to you and experience how it can elicit a feeling of calm.

• 5. Breath

  Using the breath as an object of attention is the classic technique for meditation. If I spend a few moments counting my breaths from 1 to 10 and from 10 to 1, my mind reverts to a quiet stillness. Pay specific attention to your breath as it touches your nose.

• 6. Gratitude

  Although it can be challenging to focus on gratitude when I'm throwing a personal pity party, I've discovered that it can really turn things around. There is always something to put on the gratitude list: fresh air, sunshine, electricity, running water, Western medicine, support of loved ones, faith, love, the comforts of home, flowers, chocolate, and the many life lessons that are embedded in every situation.

I hope that if you use these six objects of focus, you too will find that it is possible for peace to pervade, even during the most challenging times of your life.

For more by Ashley Davis Bush, LCSW, click here.

For more on emotional wellness, click here.

 

 

 

Follow Ashley Davis Bush, LCSW on Twitter: www.twitter.com/AshleyDavisBush

Comments

[starbabyonline]

07:21 PM on 07/18/2012

Needed to read this today as well. The past few weeks have not been kind to me. I always focus on the positive (the power of attraction) and always give gratitude, no matter what. I've had things hitting me from every direction possible until I was just about to break yesterday. In reading the slideshow, I remembered the one thing I forgot to do - breathe. I'm doing my long, deep breaths as I type this. Thank you for the reminder. Namaste.

[Ashley Davis Bush]

03:28 PM on 07/19/2012

I'm sorry to hear that you've been going through a hard time. Yes, it's amazing how powerful a deep breath can be. We all need those reminders! Keep breathing . . . keep cultivating gratitude . . . you can find inner peace no matter what. Wishing you much peace, Ashley

[rivergirl301]

11:19 PM on 07/17/2012

This article reminded me to K.I.S.S. (keep it simple, silly!)

[Ashley Davis Bush]

09:43 AM on 07/18/2012

Love it! Thanks for sharing, Ashley

[hawaiian geekz]

01:12 AM on 07/17/2012

Thanks for this wonderful article. I think back to being on the beach when I was a young college student. I had such a carefree life taking in the sun and listening to the waves. I use that visionary to relax myself while I do deep breathing exercises for 10- 15 minutes before getting out of bed each day.

[Ashley Davis Bush]

10:00 AM on 07/17/2012

Thank you for sharing your relaxing visual . . . sounds like a perfect way to start your day! Wishing you peace, Ashley

[Dr Hoban]

09:57 PM on 07/16/2012

This article is an excellent reminder that there are many simple methods of attaining inner peace in our daily lives. Thank you for sharing.

[Ashley Davis Bush]

10:00 AM on 07/17/2012

Thank you for your kind feedback! Wishing you much peace, Ashley

[seehowtheyrun]

02:32 PM on 07/16/2012

Serenity Now !

[Ashley Davis Bush]

09:20 PM on 07/16/2012

Yes, absolutely! Don't wait for all the circumstances in life to be 'just right' in order to feel good. Just feel good anyway! Wishing you serenity now! In peace, Ashley

[greg gaskill]

01:36 AM on 07/17/2012

Ashley - your advice is very sound and much appreciated. I belive Seehowtheyrun may have been referring to a Seinfeld episode - too funny. Reading your book "Shortcuts To Inner Peach", excellent!

[CSNC]

12:08 PM on 07/16/2012

"6 Ways To Find Inner Peace (No Matter What)"

1. If you are married, you lost the inner peace, no matter what.

2. If you are single, you have inner peace, no matter what other people tell you that you haven't because you are not married.

Got it? If not, remember this: Married people want single people to marry because they do not want to be the only ones miserable.

I know you got it now. You are welcome.

H

[Ashley Davis Bush]

09:22 PM on 07/16/2012

I am sorry to hear that your relationship seems to be causing a lot more stress than happiness. I would suggest going to a couples counselor, which can really make a difference. I hope things turn around for you and that you find your inner peace. Ashley

[CSNC]

12:14 AM on 07/17/2012

Ashley Davis Bush, You heard it all wrong... I do not have a problem with my relationship/s. What I am doing is passing the factual information about marriages to all so they know and get prepared for the hell that starts the minute after they say "I do." That is all.. think of a public service announcement. H  

[jenalan]

07:46 AM on 07/16/2012

Just what I needed today.

[Ashley Davis Bush]

09:22 PM on 07/16/2012

Excellent! Wishing you peace every day. Ashley