I have noticed an interesting trend on Facebook lately. Women my age, meaning us midlifers, are sharing intimate details about our sexuality. Like honing pigeons, we are finding each other, being open on our thoughts about sex and aging and lending support. We are discussing how we are rediscovering, or quite possibly, just being more open about the fact that we are still sensual, sexy, desirable and, yes, horny. We are expressing frustration how society views us as we enter or are in menopause.
A few years ago, a close friend of mine shared a story with me about joining an online dating service for 'mature' singles. She had just turned 60 and, get this, she was told that she was too old! She was refunded her money, explaining that men her age or even older were only interested in women under 50. This woman is beautiful! Hear me when I say gorgeous! She has her Masters degree in Financing and has a career that allows her the freedom to own her own home, travel and enjoy life. The only thing missing was someone to share it with.
Right now the trending message from us midlifers seems to be that older women, quite literally, have it all! And men need to listen up! Bloggers like Walker Thornton, Erica Jagger and Chloe Jeffreys are, hopefully, getting this message across. They are trying, one article at a time, to change the way older women are perceived. And more importantly how we have to start with how we see ourselves before we change how others view us.
As a blogger myself, I wrote about my self-discovery of my own sensuality when I turned 50. I was listening to society saying that I was a 'has-been.' My uterus would soon shrivel up and I would no longer be interested in sex. I was feeling depressed, frumpy and invisible. Then something magical happened. A man on an airplane, a Frenchman no less, made it very clear he found me attractive. With nowhere to go I was forced to listen to his words. How he saw me, how desirable he found me! How, if I said yes, he would join the 'mile-high' club with me. Ooh la la! Needless to say, this moment changed my life and launched me on a path to rediscovering my own sexuality and, I might add, having fun in the process.
As I think about this network of women on Facebook, openly sharing that we are still sexual beings, it is hard not to think that men are missing the boat here! Midlife women are more comfortable in their skin than 20- and 30-somethings. We have confidence, experience and the desire to be more daring in bed.
Some younger men are getting it. Look at the men that Demi Moore, Madonna, Susan Sarandon and Cher were in long-term relationships with. And my own experience with the man I met on the plane seems to confirm this new opening, since he was in his forties. We women need to view that for us, anything is possible now. And it all starts with our own perception of who we are. So, listen up, women! Don't sell yourself short. Get out there and enjoy your new found confidence! If you are single, join that online dating service. And if you are married, like me, feel more confident about yourself. I can tell you I am enjoying a far more satisfying sex life now that I feel sexy.
Now, going back to that online dating service -- won't it be nice when a man in his sixties is told, "I am sorry, sir, but women in their 50s and 60s are just not interested in men your age. Here is your money back".