Only in the Bizarro World

When I was a kid,there was a recurring segment called "Tales of the Bizarro World" in Superman comics. Superman stood for "truth, justice and the American way". In the Bizarro world people were governed by the Bizarro Code which states "Us do opposite of all Earthly things! Us hate beauty! Us love ugliness! Is big crime to make anything perfect on Bizarro World!"

Where else but in Bizarro world would the Credit Card Act of 2009, an act designed to protect consumers against unscrupulous credit card practices, be coupled with amendment 1067, inserted by Senator Tom Coburn, R-Oklahoma, that allows concealed weapons to be carried into The National Park and National Wildlife Refuge system?

In true Bizarro logic, Rep. Doc Hastings, R-Wash., stated, "The fact is American gun owners are simply citizens who want to exercise their Second Amendment rights without running into confusing red tape." The confusing red tape regarding credit card rules and rates was what the bill was supposed to be about.

Quickly following on the heels of the kind of logic that protects credit card holder's rights by endangering both humans and animals, Arizona joined 41 other states in allowing handguns to be carried into bars. I've seen enough cowboy movies to appreciate the excitement of mixing two fisted drinking with a one fisted handgun, but even the old West got civilized and had patrons check their side arms. As stated by many gun advocates, "Each person has the right to bear arms to defend themselves." However, they seem to be protecting themselves from each other. According to the FBI, states with the least restrictions on gun control, such as Arizona, Texas and Arkansas, also have the highest rate of violent crime involving firearms.

Only in a Bizarro world would anyone think the combination of guns and alcohol was a good thing.

Recent laws also allow guns to be kept in cars parked on the private property of employers who forbid guns in the workplace. This is a step in the right direction for gun owners who are now vulnerable only on that dangerous walk from their company parking lot to their job.

If you don't drive to work and have to take the train, you can take comfort that Congress voted to allow guns to be carried in baggage checked aboard all Amtrak trains.

In a compelling statement of patriotism, Senator Roger Wicker, R-Mississippi, said "Americans should not have their Second Amendment rights restricted for any reason, particularly if they choose to travel on America's federally subsidized rail line." I'm having a gun turret mounted on the front of my car to protect myself from the other armored vehicles that travel our federally subsidized highway system.

And in case our country doesn't offer sufficient protection, the Lord will -- or at least try. Rep. Beverly Pyle, R-Arkansas, proposed HB1237, to allow a concealed handgun into churches and other places of worship.

Only in Bizarro world do you find alleged men of God like Ken Pagano, pastor of the New Bethel Church in Lexington, Kentucky, who, in June sponsored a "bring-your-guns-to-church day." Like all good church events, this one had a dollar raffle. The grand prize was handgun. Nothing says "love thy neighbor" like a well armed congregation.

As a nation, we are already well armed, ranking first in the world in per capita gun ownership with 90 guns per each 100 people. Households with guns are 11 times more likely to use those guns to commit suicide than for self defense. The suicide rate in the United States from firearms is the highest, by far, in the world. To be fair, we don't just kill ourselves, we kill others, a lot. According to the United Nations Survey of Crime Trends, the United States has the highest homicide rate of any developed country by over 7 1/2 times.

To keep things balanced, we also have the highest teen pregnancy rate in the world in both absolute numbers, 494,357 and per capita, 1,672 per million people. In the Bizarro World, the key to solving this epic and epidemic problem happened on September 29th when the Senate appropriated $50 million for an "Abstinence Only" bill. The Institute of Medicine, affiliated with the National Academy of Sciences, tried to eliminate funding for abstinence only programs in 2000. Their research, along with other peer reviewed academic research concluded, "Preaching abstinence doesn't produce it." Education, contraception and condoms work. If you believe abstinence works, you are really screwed.

In the Bizarro world, you can rally millions of people to support the unrestricted use of firearms that will inevitably bring about injury and death, pony up $50 million for useless abstinence programs, but can't get people to agree on national health care reform that would benefit everyone.

I was a kid when I read about the Bizarro world. I didn't expect it to actually be a Bizarro world when I grew up.

Comments

[SewaneeLeftist]

I keep on forgetting that whenever I post anything related to guns that anything and everything will undergo the gun ENTHUSIASTS' hair-splitting microscope as well as all the dubious reasoning.

In my jocular response to this wonderful article by Mr. Madoff, an acololyte pulled the old wrong-in-detail, wrong-in-toto logical fallacy as riposte to my 50% of gun owners who use their guns in defense against a criminal get them used against themselves.

Only the hair splitters would think that this was an actual statistic I was offering; despite the difficulty some post-ers have doing research, I would have cited the source had I had one. My stepson's grandfather was the source, a lifelong police officer who is EXTREMELY pro gun and anti gun control. But it wasn't a scientific study -- so, no citation.

But I love it when the gun lobby accuses ANYONE of false or misleading statistics.

"Much discussion about the protective benefits of guns has focused on the incidence of self-defense gun use. Proponents of such putative benefits often claim that 2.5 million Americans use guns in self-defense against criminal attackers each year (Kleck and Gertz 1995).

This estimate is not plausible [and] has been nominated as the "MOST OUTRAGEOUS NUMBER mentioned in a policy discussion by an elected official" (Cook, Ludwig, and Hemenway 1997, 463)."

From"Chapter 4: Self-Defense Use of Guns, p. 66 - 67, "Private Guns, Pubic Health" by Professor David Hemenway.

[OdinsEye]

And yet, when Cook and Ludwig tried to conduct their own research, they actually came up with even more DFUs than Kleck did (roughly 3.6 million IIRC) and it took them some judicious paring and trimming to come in at less than 2 million.

Further, remember that Kleck himself is a gun control advocate.

And these are not the only two studies we refer to. There are at least 13 other studies out there and like the Cook & Ludwig study and the Kleck Gertz study, none of them were conducted by or for pro-gun groups.

[prayforroy]

Sadly, OE isn't telling the truth wert Coook and Ludwig.

What OE omits is that Cook and Ludwig found that reported DGUs were extremely exaggerated and that if they were accurate, it would mean gunowners kill or wound 130,000 attackers annually.

[Glocksf21]

I dont like what you are saying, so we should take away your right to free speech....

[SewaneeLeftist]

Hilarious article, Mr. Madoff, and great examples and anecdotes. To me, it's more 1984, with its slogans like War is Peace. Maybe it Bizarro World 1984.

In our current Bizarro World 1984...

bars combined with guns seems like a good idea to some

bringing guns to political rallies seems like freedom and somehow contributes to public safety

50% of people who have a gun in a crime get killed by their own weapon but still large numbers believe having guns is good for combatting crime

and it doesn't matter that someone gets killed as long as we know what brand and type of weapon it was.

[Berettasskeeter]

SL, you're great at parroting statistics, however wrong, but poor at detailing those statistics. How many of your 50% were the criminal perpetrators? How many were the police?
However, your 50% number is laughingly false. I'm glad you're consistent though, it gives the rest of us something to brighten our day.
Semper fi

[OdinsEye]

"50% of people who have a gun in a crime get killed by their own weapon "

LOL.... Please, do not fabricate stats and try to pass them off as real. That stat is completely bogus.

[NYCexile]

If everything was handled correctly, we wouldn't need to attach a rider in order to avoid harrassment for exercising a fundamental, universal human right.

Unfortunately, Mr. Madoff, we're living in your bizarro world, and we have to take whatever opportunities that arise to set things straight.

[beatbox]

What is bizzare is that you parrot stats without researching them. Know how they got the 11x stat? They only counted suicides in the home! So if someone jumped in front of a train, that did not count into the equation.

[InYourWorld]

Good work Odin...

To further elaborate: Of the 41 state laws differ regarding alcohol. In none of the states can you be intoxicated, usually measured by DUI standards. In CO where I live I can go into a bar or restaurant that serves alcohol, but it can not drink ANY, if I do an am caught I get a felony, and my CCW permit revoked, and likely possibility of buying a gun ever again. In UT you can drink but have to remain under 0.08BAC... Most states are along the laws of CO.

However in NM if an establishment serve ANY alcohol, I am prohibited from carrying into the place. This means that if I am carrying a gun I cant go have a morning Grand Slam at Dennys if they serve beer.

I find most anti gun folks don't educate themselves on the , terminology, etc... They just spew unsubstantiated opinions. Sure guns in bars may sound like a disaster, but once you READ the underlying law along with it things are much more reasonable.

Read more at: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/b-jeffrey-madoff/only-in-the-bizarro-world_b_309507.html

[terribyte]

You've successfully displayed beyond doubt:
You can write about guns and sex, and second amendment zealots will prefer to talk about guns.

Looks like you caught the attention of the NRA.
Apparently I'm a bit of a walking contradiction. I'm a left-leaning gun-owner - at least I've never held a gun over my head and proclaimed, "...from my cold dead hands".
I'm afraid some half-wit would take it as an invitation - besides, as rights go, the right to bear arms is fairly low on my priority list.

[InYourWorld]

Sex isn't being regulated unless you are a prostitute or predator, neither or which I am......

[terribyte]

Sex is regulated.
I was able to find at least one law that includes both sex and guns!
In Wisconsin, it's illegal for a man to discharge his weapon when his lover reaches orgasm.
Prostitutes in South Dakota are still prohibited from plying their trade out of a covered wagon.
There are literally thousands of examples, and while one might argue that these laws are outdated, the same can be said for the antiquated thinking at play throughout this article, including the $50,000,000 US tax-dollars flushed away in abstinence only education.
It's an expensive punchline for some future trivia buff, but right now it's not so funny.

[NDeeZ]

I, too, am a leftish gun-owner--it happens more than you might think--and I take exception to the characterization that I'm "unprotected on that dangerous walk from their company parking lot to their job."

It also takes away my 2nd Amendment rights on the drive to and from the job, and anywhere I might go in transit to and from the job...quite the accomplishment for a private company.

I've never understood how a company is allowed to abrogate the Constitution and the Amendments--would they be allowed to make a rule that your other Constitutional rights would be suspended while you're on their property? Doubtful.

[mike102]

"Apparently I'm a bit of a walking contradiction. I'm a left-leaning gun-owner"

No, you're not. About half the gun owners in the US are "left leaning" Dems and Indies, including myself and half of the pro 2A people who post here regularly.

We however, do not harbor the obvious contempt for fellow gun owners that you seem to have.

[terribyte]

I have no contempt for gun owners. I am baffled by people who's political views pivot on a single issue, and organization who take advantage of that mindset in order to garner support.
I personally know people who vote in lock-step with the recommendations of the NRA, putting all other considerations aside.
I feel no contempt for them (they are family after all) but I do think their criteria for assessing a viable candidate shows a rather narrow world-view.

[mike102]

"You've successfully displayed beyond doubt:
You can write about guns and sex, and second amendment zealots will prefer to talk about guns."

This blog appears when you click on 'Guns'. Maybe that explains it,

[terribyte]

This blog also appears when you click on "abstinence only", an issue pertaining to education, or the lack thereof, and is at the heart of much human misery.
Education is a far more important issue (to me) than gun rights, especially when our tax-dollars are directly contributing to ignorance, teen pregnancy and the spread of STDs.

[Karlitos]

Mr. B. Jeffrey:

Such a thing would only happen in the "bizarro" world where the Senate Majority leader will not allow the bearing of arms issue to come up as a stand-alone measure.

Your tone and message here is wholly disingenuous.

You need to realize that many people don't conform to your view of the world. Sorry about that, but please, don't take offense.

[BeeOplentee]

Very well said! Fanned & faved!

[benEzra]

Except the U.S. suicide rate is LOWER than that of Canada, Norway, Japan, Denmark, Austria, Australia, Iceland, New Zealand, Portugal, Ireland, Germany, France, Belgium, and many other First World nations, despite our lousy mental health care, economic disparities, and the longest working hours with the least time off of any First World nation.

The Third Way/DLC obsession with banning popular guns helped kill much-needed health care reform the first time around, in the 1990's. Let's not go there again, shall we?

[HisXLNC]

"The suicide rate in the United States from firearms is the highest, by far, in the world."

That might be because we have the highest rate of firearms ownership. However, a trip to gun free Japan reveals the highest suicide rate of all.

Every country has violence and suicide. Our rate of violence and suicide are no more bizarre than other places in the world. The only difference between America and the rest of the world is the means and methods.

[legaleagle 45]

In fact, the suicide rate in relatively "gun free" Japan is higher than the COMBINED homicide and suicide rate in the USA. The means employed to commit suicide has little impact upon the suicide rate. This is because of what is known as substituion. If a favored means to commit suicide is removed, another means will be substituted. Who says? The World Health Organization:

. “[R]emoving an easy and favored method of suicide was not likely to affect substantially the overall suicide rate because other methods would be chosen.” World Health Organization, Changing Patterns in Suicide Behavior

[prayforroy]

It's pretty entertaining that the very folks who are demanding we must be subjected to ill-trained yahoos with guns are the very ones who don't want said yahoos anywhere near them.

When can we see these GOPers demand that visitors to Congress be allowed to carry guns? How about carrying guns into the Supreme Court?

[HisXLNC]

Last I checked, it was the overwhelmingly democrat DC council that has been keeping people from carrying guns in DC all these years. Not the GOP.

[ForObamaInDallas]

How so?

[RooneyTunes]

Gheez Jeff....didn't you know that Jesus himself was a gun-totin' rootin' shootin' son-of-a-gun and the fastest draw west of Nazareth!! I'm sure that's the next argument that will come from these Wayne LaPierre wannabes. Just so we are all clear...and I appeal to those 'in-all-ot­her-issues­-Strict-Co­nstruction­ists'.....­here is the Second Amendment: "A well regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the People to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed"

So...Mssrs. OdinsWeye and BlackPR....may I see your credentials for the local militia that you belong? Let's start there before we continue your Constitutional Law for Dummies 101 recital argument. Thanks...good day...and please check your Glock at the door...much appreciate. Oh, I know, guns don't kill people...people do........­......they just need the gun!

[OdinsEye]

The right to keep and bear arms is not dependent on participation in a militia.

The militia phrase does not tell us why or when the right exists; it tells us a, but not the, reason the right is not to be infringed.

If you can hold off in the epithets, insults, and ad hominems for more than one post, I'll gladly discuss the issue with you. If, however, you insist on behaving like a child, I'll treat you as such.

[mackbolan]

another drive by poster....

[BlackPR]

The Militia argument is a matter of settled law now, and really not open to debate. You can try, but you're just trying to argue what you would LIKE it to mean, not what the supreme court says it means.

I am a radical liberal with a gun. I love the whole bill of rights, not just bits and pieces that fit my agenda. I'm also not a glock guy, fyi... I'm a Colt 1911 purist, and I won't be leaving it at the door. I tend to not let it out of my sight unless it's locked up tight.

All pretty rhetoric aside, what did you not like about my post? I simply advocate that the issue can be approached in a scientific manner... and I suggest that if it is, the conclusions reached would be in direct opposition of the *opinions* expressed by the author of the article. The facts do exist.

It's frustrating to see Dems so *clearly right* on the healthcare issue, and to see them argue with reason and science and logic against the opposition who resorts to fake statistics and stupid rhetoric -- and then when I look at the Guns discussion, the tactics are totally reversed -- and neither side is smart enough, or flexible enough to step back and set aside their dogma for reason.

[Berettasskeeter]

The posters you denigrate so easily only need citizenship to prove militia membership. Remember, or perhaps look up, there are two kinds of militia, one of which we all belong to, namely the unorganized militia. It was spelled out in the Constitution, the reading of which seems to have escaped you.
Semper fi

[OdinsEye]

"Arizona joined 41 other states in allowing handguns to be carried into bars."

Nope. AZ joined 41 other states in allowing firearms to be carried in establishments which serve alcohol. For most of the states that means restaurants.

"I've seen enough cowboy movies"

CLUE: Movies = Not real

"even the old West got civilized and had patrons check their side arms"

A couple towns did this for a couple years and it only applied to out-of-towners and during certain times of the year.

"According to the FBI, states with the least restrictions on gun control, such as Arizona, Texas and Arkansas, also have the highest rate of violent crime involving firearms. "

Cherry picking to avoid states like Vermont.

[OdinsEye]

"Recent laws also allow guns to be kept in cars parked on the private property of employers who forbid guns in the workplace. "

Overlapping property issues in this.

"If you don't drive to work and have to take the train, you can take comfort that Congress voted to allow guns to be carried in baggage checked aboard all Amtrak trains. "

1. This used to be allowed before 2004.
2. The firearms cannot be carried, they must be in checked baggage in locked, hard-sided cases.
3. It is not on all Amtrak trains, it is only on those trains providing checked baggage service between stations.

"Rep. Beverly Pyle, R-Arkansas, proposed HB1237, to allow a concealed handgun into churches and other places of worship"

Only if the property is not posted forbidding the practice.

"Households with guns are 11 times more likely to use those guns to commit suicide than for self defense. "

Completely bogus stat. Consider that even the most conservative estimates on defensive firearm uses is over 80,000 per annum and suicides with firearms tally roughly 16,000.

"you can rally millions of people to support the unrestricted use of firearms"

No one is asking for the unrestricted use of firearms.

[BlackPR]

You know what's really Bizarro? Making up FBI statistics. Ignoring year over year decreases in the violent crime rate committed by guns even though the number of guns increases by approximately 70 million per year. Hand picking facts that seem to bolster your story and leaving out other compelling background information like the fact that the FBI stats on "Homicide" count anytime a policeman defends himself, all justifiable shootings and self defense. The same bogus FBI stat that was quoted could be used to show that guns are best for self defense in states with less gun restrictions.

The author doesn't challenge any of his poorly chosen stats with other stats such as the fact that the highest murder rates per-capita are in cities with strong gun control laws such as Chicago and Washington D.C..

The auther should try to read some of the opposing viewpoints. A good starting point might be the book, "More Guns, Less Crime". While not without its own problems, it does provide a good reference to show, at the least, that the "correlation equals causation" arguments put forth with one-liners such as those in this article are baseless at least and perhaps backwards at most.

Why rely on rediculous rhetoric and twisted numbers when we have plenty of data to make rational arguments on the issue? I suspect because when one looks at all the data, the rational conclusion does not necissarily agree with the authors opinions -- therefore rhetoric is easier.