I'll admit it: I have a morbid fascination with "Toddlers & Tiaras." The hair, the makeup, the epic temper tantrums... it's a guilty pleasure that I love to hate.
I even know the characters by name: there's Little Lady Gaga, Laci; Paisley the "prosti-tot"; and who could forget Alana, a.k.a. Honey Boo Boo child?
Let's be clear: I'm totally opposed to exploiting kids in this way, and the parenting that's depicted is deplorable. Horrendous. Atrocious.
(Did I state that clearly enough?)
Related: The 7 most disturbing toddler movies...EVER
Yet still I watch. I sit on the throne of parental superiority, judgmental and smug from the sofa in my family room. While you won't hear me talking smack about my fellow PTA moms I'll readily pass judgment on the pageant mom in the bedazzled velour track suit.
I've considered the ugly side of watching the show and others like it ("Dance Moms," anyone?). The sexualization of young girls. The stage moms and spray tans and sugar-fueled baby booty dancing.
Don't think it hasn't occurred to me that even on a bad day, I can watch "Toddlers & Tiaras" and feel like Mother of the Year. But yesterday, Emily Shire of Slate stopped me in my tracks when she suggested that my smugness toward the pageant moms comes from a much more uncomfortable place: elitism.
I'm well aware that my judging the pageant moms is hypocritical. After all, I watch the show. But is it classist?
To me, a former social worker, classism is a particularly sensitive subject. To my core, I understand that every life has a context, a set of circumstances encircling it. Members of what some crassly call "the lower class" have less access to fewer resources and, as a result, sometimes make choices that others find objectionable. My personal belief is that the overwhelming majority of us are doing the best for our families with what we have.
My social work training has shaped the way I see the world, but it's also personal. I live in West Virginia, one of the most impoverished states in the country. I've defended my neighbors who make "bad" choices. I've gone to bat for clients who were living with the results of the "bad choices" they made.
According to Shire, "Toddlers & Tiaras" provides "a classist subtext to the media's judgment of parenting" through its depiction of the pageant moms as "white trash."
The depressed, often southern areas that serve as the backdrop for many episodes.
The thick accents and often overweight mothers.
The subtle clues that paint a picture of the pageant world as being set apart from the cozy family room couches where the smug viewers sit with their jaws dropped.
What's my take? I can certainly see Shire's point. I have to admit that I watched last week's season premiere. I have to admit that I gasped audibly when I watched as a beautiful child described having to wear a girdle. Little Paisley made a repeat appearance (this time, thankfully, leaving the "Pretty Woman" costume at home), as did, of course, Paisley's mom.
But last night, instead of sitting in judgement, I put on my social worker hat. These moms, I've decided, want the best for their children but have a warped way of loving them. Their daughters are themselves made "perfect": perfectly coiffed, talented, poised. It's just sad to me that they don't seem to understand that their daughters have been perfect all along.
They're taking the real risk of sending their daughters the message that they need make up and costumes and crowns and Grand Supreme titles to be "perfect."
And those of us watching? We're risking that too.
Stay connected. Follow Babble on Facebook and Twitter.
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
It's Another Trump-Biden Showdown — And We Need Your Help
The Future Of Democracy Is At Stake
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
Your Loyalty Means The World To Us
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
The 2024 election is heating up, and women's rights, health care, voting rights, and the very future of democracy are all at stake. Donald Trump will face Joe Biden in the most consequential vote of our time. And HuffPost will be there, covering every twist and turn. America's future hangs in the balance. Would you consider contributing to support our journalism and keep it free for all during this critical season?
HuffPost believes news should be accessible to everyone, regardless of their ability to pay for it. We rely on readers like you to help fund our work. Any contribution you can make — even as little as $2 — goes directly toward supporting the impactful journalism that we will continue to produce this year. Thank you for being part of our story.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
It's official: Donald Trump will face Joe Biden this fall in the presidential election. As we face the most consequential presidential election of our time, HuffPost is committed to bringing you up-to-date, accurate news about the 2024 race. While other outlets have retreated behind paywalls, you can trust our news will stay free.
But we can't do it without your help. Reader funding is one of the key ways we support our newsroom. Would you consider making a donation to help fund our news during this critical time? Your contributions are vital to supporting a free press.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our journalism free and accessible to all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. Would you consider becoming a regular HuffPost contributor?
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. If circumstances have changed since you last contributed, we hope you'll consider contributing to HuffPost once more.
Support HuffPostAlready contributed? Log in to hide these messages.