School: A Great Place for Bullying

Ask any child of any age where they are most likely to get bullied and the answer is almost always the school bus. Think about it. It's the perfect venue for that form of torture. Kids of varying ages are virtually unsupervised except for a bus driver who is trying to focus on driving the kids home safely. The role of the bus driver is to deliver our kids to and from school safely not to mediate conflicts and create harmony.

I've worked with hundreds of adolescents and they list the following as the most likely places where bullying occurs:

1. On the school bus


2. In the hallways of school while walking to a different classroom


3. During recess


4. In the lunch room

And what do these four places have in common? They are all places where there are large amounts of kids who are also largely unsupervised. Yes, I am aware that there are teachers or other adults monitoring the lunch room, recess, and perhaps the hallways, but this appears to make little difference. The kids tell me that the supervising adults are not attuned or even paying attention to those moments when they are rejected from a lunch table, being called a hippo in the hallway, or even when they eat their lunch in the bathroom in order to avoid being seen eating alone in the lunch room.

Yes, we can teach our kids how to defend themselves against bullies. Yes, we can role play skills with our kids. We can teach them to toughen up. I am, however, of a different mind when it comes to this issue. I say shame on the schools for allowing the kids to be unmonitored so frequently. And, for goodness sake, who came up with the idea of having 13 and 18 year olds riding the school bus together. Isn't it our job not only to teach our kids social skills but also to try to make their environments as safe as possible within reason.

 

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Comments

[REMOVETHEVEIL]

06:06 PM on 03/06/2012

I feel that if a child reports a bully to the school and nothing is done that the parent of the victim should immediately notify the authorities and file formal charges against the school for child endangerment and child neglect and I think that the parents of the aggressor should have been notified with the school and if they didn't correct their child’s behavior then they should be charged with willful child endangerment and contributing to the delinquency of a minor since they basically refuse to keep their own child in check. The moment that parents actually have to be parents and be responsible of the actions of their children the sooner they will stop trying to be a friend to their child and be a role model and a disciplinarian

[rockysparks]

09:21 AM on 01/18/2012

Bullies need to be put on notice that THEY and THEIR ATTITUDES are the problem, not their victims.

Zero tolerance in the schools: One warning, then expulsion.
Zero tolerance in the workplace: One warning, then termination.
Zero tolerance in society: One warning, then incarceration.

Bullies need to be removed from the equation for the safety of everyone who is NOT a bully. When they are isolated, then we can talk about "helping" or "rehabilitating" them.

[QuickFire]

02:58 PM on 01/18/2012

Couldn't have said it better myself. This woman also forgot to add a 5th one. #5 walking to and from school.

[Barbara Greenberg]

09:20 PM on 01/20/2012

Great point!

Thanks!

[Shawn1966]

06:48 PM on 01/23/2012

Zero tolerance = brain dead. Every situation should be approached on a case by case basis. Zero tolerance is part of the problem not part of the solution. In most schools zero tolerance equals no right to self defense. As far as the workplace & society are concerned, let the adults sort things out for themselves.