Mother Nature and Father Time are Cruel

04/20/2015 07:24 pm ET | Updated Jun 20, 2015

Where to begin...

Back in the day, I had a pretty decent body, great hair, good skin and I never appreciated it as I should have. I did some modeling, worked with models and owned a modeling agency. Still, I wasn't happy with my body.


After having two kids, I was never able to lose the paunch. That's not true... I could have if I'd really worked at it, but I didn't. I even bought a health club, thinking I could teach aerobics and it would miraculously disappear. Crazy, huh?

At 42 years old, I decided to have a tummy tuck, because I was unhappy and I knew if I could FINALLY have a flat stomach, my life would be fabulous! Oh, how I would love to bitch slap my former self for that mistake.

It was a botched procedure, which left me with a good-sized rock of scar tissue in the middle of my lower abdomen. The universe can be cold when you need to wake-up and face reality.

Life went on, and twenty lus years later I still hate my stomach, but I'm trying to let it go. I am 10 pounds overweight, (give or take a few), which is not bad for someone who loathes exercise.

I don't worry much about my stomach these days, because I'm trying to figure out how to get my eyebrows back. Stomachs can be hidden, camouflaged, buried under clothing. Eyebrows? Not so much.

I've had the thyroid test and all is normal. And yet, I have lost, approximately, 90% of my body hair, starting at the eyebrows. I don't miss shaving my legs, but, of course, there are still hairy arm pits to deal with. Damn you, Mother Nature!

In the meantime, I've found products that help camouflage the flaws. And, I have to admit, all the years of trying to take good care of my skin has paid off. I have never removed makeup at bedtime, and I'm not advocating you do the same, but it's worked for me. Good genes trump makeup remover, apparently.

So, I think if I could just get an eyebrow transplant, all would be right in my world. Then I remember the stomach fiasco and smack myself.

Have you made mistakes in the name of beauty that you've regretted? Please share!